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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Hi there,

Just wondering if anyone could share some experiences they have had when friends have found out about their relationship with their cousin. This in't something I need to publically announce. But with social media and FB, i guess there is always a chance of people working things out and I'm just a bit anxious about this.

Just wondering how people have dealt with this

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My mother was never really for it so I never came out and told her but I also didn't go out of my way to not hang out with my cousin. I told a few of my closest friends. when I mean a few I literally mean two. My case was different but only because I was adopted out and when I told my friends they understood. One of my coworkers found out and it seemed like she had some knowledge about cousin couples, so when things when sour I turned to her. My best friend Nanci was not accepting of it. She would make little remarks saying, " well you can't sleep with your cousin" so I never told her but I did give her some insight on cousin couples. Some people never change their views. As for FB and social media. I was listed as in a relationship but I never said to who, nor did my cousin. If you're trying to come out to people, feel them out see how they react to some facts, if they start acting negatively I would just hold off on telling them for the time being.

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out of the 17 close i have. i lost 2. which apparently where not friends.

And honestly i could care less.

Its funny, cause 1 of my friends ended up going to buy a puppy from 1 of my other real close friends. not knowing this close friend actually supported me, and still does.

So i had to find out how he was talking s^&% about me, from another friend.

this was 3 years ago.

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People on FB ask her (nobody has noticed on mine oddly) but I have a link to a genealogy page I made that posts to my FB account that has us in the fmaily tree in 2 places (lol!) and nobody has noticed it either...

SHe has had a few ask her how her new married name is the same as her maiden name...she just doesn't answer them...all have been private messages. As for friends, none of mine know.

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I told 5 of my friends. All were fine with it...one of them didn't agree but was still supportive.

My mom knows as well (she found out, I didn't actually want to help her) and she flipped out. She is very close minded about cousin couples (and many many other things) so I didn't expect her to understand. All she does is alienate me now...

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Thanks for all the replies.

I think the hardest part at the moment is the uncertainty. It's not like I need to shout it from the rooftops, but I guess I need to be in a place where I am abe to defend my relationship and be proud of who I am with regardless of what others think.

I know that I'm not in that place yet - and I'm starting to think I might never be. The thought of potentially losing all my friends just seems so overwhelming.

I mean what if all those "what if" situations and scenarios actually come true. I know we can say that about anything in life. But people are so cruel and judgemental.

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Thanks for all the replies.

I think the hardest part at the moment is the uncertainty. It's not like I need to shout it from the rooftops, but I guess I need to be in a place where I am abe to defend my relationship and be proud of who I am with regardless of what others think.

I know that I'm not in that place yet - and I'm starting to think I might never be. The thought of potentially losing all my friends just seems so overwhelming.

I mean what if all those "what if" situations and scenarios actually come true. I know we can say that about anything in life. But people are so cruel and judgemental.

If "they" don't understand and dis you, they don't give a damn about your happiness and they are ignorant.

I don't care what people think. I told one of my friends and he said that he had the hots for one of his cousins.

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I know it's really easy to say "who gives a damn" but the reality is that we live in a world full of other people. I think I also struggle with the fact that ok only 24. And I don't think at the moment people would understand. I guess I assume people would think "why choose something this complex when there are millions of people out there and so much time for you to find them"

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I know it's really easy to say "who gives a damn" but the reality is that we live in a world full of other people. I think I also struggle with the fact that ok only 24. And I don't think at the moment people would understand. I guess I assume people would think "why choose something this complex when there are millions of people out there and so much time for you to find them"

Because you can't choose who you fall in love with. I don't rent space for free in my head to others...

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