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ragingdesire61

Spilled the beans

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I have been speaking on the phone with my (first) cousin every evening, for an hour or two at a time. Some of our conversations have gone pretty deep, and last night it just felt, for me, that it was time to be open and honest about what it is I am feeling. I said to her, that for as long as I could remember, I wished that she wasn't my cousin. A moment of stunned silence. And then, she said "yes, I've known that for a long time, I know that feeling is there between us, but we are....cousins!" I honestly don't know how it was received, although she said that she was honored that I feel comfortable enough to tell her openly.

  This morning I wrote her an email, as I often find it easier to express myself more fully and clearly in writing. I hope I have not damaged our relationship. But I owed it to her, and to myself to be truthful about what it is I am feeling.

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4 hours ago, pooch said:

Hi Raging,

May I know what timeframe are we looking at here? You guys are talking to one another every evening for how long now?

 

Pooch

 Recently, for about a month. We have been close since childhood, and in pretty close contact for most of our lives.

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12 hours ago, ragingdesire61 said:

 Recently, for about a month. We have been close since childhood, and in pretty close contact for most of our lives.

Update:

  My cousin called me back yesterday evening after reading the letter I wrote her. She said she was moved and touched by my words, and that she could not think of a better partner to walk with. It's the "cousin" thing that has her freaked out, mostly, IMO, out of ignorance of the legality of such a union (in our state anyways) and the long, ancient as well as modern historical normalcy of such matches. She is a very smart woman, and I have no doubt that she will start to do her own research and seek to become better informed.

   I need to step back, and not bombard her with links and information, or appeals to the love that we have for one another, and let her come to her own conclusion, whatever that may be. It is out of my hands, and for Creator to deal with.

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This is the letter that I wrote to her. I know, it is very revealing on a personal level, but this is a place with people who I think would understand.

 

 Edited to protect privacy
 

 

Edited by ragingdesire61
TMI
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On 12/30/2018 at 12:07 AM, ragingdesire61 said:

 Recently, for about a month. We have been close since childhood, and in pretty close contact for most of our lives.

Is there any reason for reconnection during the past month? Like what happened?

Pooch

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10 minutes ago, pooch said:

Is there any reason for reconnection during the past month? Like what happened?

Pooch

My mother recently passed, and my cousin was also quite close to her. I wouldn't call our recent activity a reconnection, as we have always been close and communicated regularly and saw each other at least several times a year for most of our lives. The recent round of conversations began with our shared grief, but soon they were far more than that, conversations about very deep, personal aspects of ourselves. The sorts of things that are rarely shared and only with the most intimate of people.

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