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frank b

I had a sexual l relationship with an older F cousin

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About 20 years ago my cousin seduced me.  We were at a party at her house and she came in the middle of the night and blew me.  That started a year long relationship that ended badly when too many feelings took over.  She was in her mid 30s, I was in my early 20s.

i recently reached out to her to chat about. She wasn’t receptive at first, but she’s softening up.  Has anyone revisited something like this, in the same manner?

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May I be frank, Frank? I realize that I am not answering your question but there is an elephant in the room. I think you are playing with fire. What you are pursuing is just as dangerous as smoking a little crack cocaine "just on the weekends." In the end, you may very well lose everything, and over what? A girl who has already rejected you once before.

Let's say that you are just wanting a one night stand. Even with that, things can get out of control very quickly. You can't win this one, Frank. When the chandelier crashes to the floor, there is no putting the pieces back together. Think and look out for yourself; nobody else is going to.

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There wasn’t a rejection back then, it just wasn’t practical.  The feelings were too great.  We are older and in different stages of our lives.  I appreciate your candor.

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it's still not practical. you are both married to others. so no matter how great the feelings are, and no matter how great the regrets are, you have no right to pursue a relationship on any level with each other. you both made choices. you both made commitments. have the strength of character to honor those commitments. (even emotionally.)

 

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My friend Frank,

I gotta say you have to stay away from this one. Why do you have to do this? I dont think "the feelings are too great" is the reason. I amy be wrong about this, ok, but I have some suspicion that you are actually "bored"!

And so you are revisiting this old one-time-thing, just like as I would have been visiting the playground where I first experieced to slide 20-25 years ago. 😅 know what I mean?

 

Pooch

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It’s not boredom or necessarily a desire to rekindle any relationship, I’m not trying to.  But should we act as is it never happened?  Am I entitled to a discussion about it?  I was young and I feel it has affected me somwhat in life.  Not necessarily in a bad way that’s ever held me back, but it’s been a part of me.  She’s the only person I could have that discussion with.  So I hope my intentions are clearer.  Does that change anyone’s input?  

Edited by frank b

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Well yeah, it changes everything. We try to read between the lines. I think mostly we get it right, but not always.

Now I am speechless. I could tell you about the girls who have seduced me in the past. I don't feel they have really affected me too much. Only in very good ways. Hey man, when I was a young teenager, I had a cousin (and not the one I married!) ....well Frank, I think this is too personal and Y'all wouldn't be interested anyhow!  LOL But something happened once and we have never discussed it to this day, and we never will.

I'm sure I've had a few dreams about it but that is it (as a teenager! y'all).  I am a single man now and I could tell you stories. You? Me? Fatheads Tavern? Forgetaboutit man!

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