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CatchyEyes

What kind of like he talk about?

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So, here's my story. Me(21) and him(26) are cousin. He knows me inside out. And the other way around. We are like made for each other. In the meaning, i have what he dont. And he have what i dont. Its like we are not going to have preference nor personality arguing.

We rarely meet. Since we are basically live in different country. We meet at least every 2 years or more. Back then, we rarely chat to each other. We start to chat intensely last year since we have a trip plan together this year. 

We are both were so distantly back then. We were never touch each other since we feel uncomfortable with that. 

He came to my country last week. And i was so shocked by his change. since in the 3rd day he started to ask my hand(he says that he is cold. Yet his hands are warm to hot.) on the 4th day, he even hold my hand almost 24 hours. He even complain that his hand is burning. But he wont let go of my hand. He even do it in publicly like in a mall when we are with his good friends.

Not only that. He likes to hug me(purposely or not). He tries to sit on my lap whenever i sit beside him. He forcely asked me once to sit on his lap. But i hold my weigh since im. . .well kind of obesity and he's all boney lol.

In the 5th day. I felt something wrong with our relationship. So i asked my friend that he also willing to hold hand with(i think because he find her has the same vibe as me). And actually i want to pretend that im jealous. But in the middle, my insecure(i have this belonging guard insecure) got me lol. So i kept say "who are u? Do i know u? Dont touch me" a few times in a day. He said "why'd u say that. Im feeling sad. But I LIKE YOU". 

And then i need to take my leave for school in other city. I felt guilty over what i did to him. I was thinking that im not even his gf. But it always happends to me. Either to girl or boy friends. 

After i departed in my school's city, i tried to apologize to him. Via chat(because my conversation in english is not that good yet). But he insisted to call me for answer my apology. It turns out that he also think about me all day. And he almost cry because of it. 

SO MY QUESTION IS. What kind of LIKE he mentioned here? Im afraid he is going to romantic road.

My friend said that we have a displacement possibility. Since he had someone he like. But got rejected before he say it. 

But. . .what kind of brother sister relationship i have here? He even try to hold my hand and place it in his groin a few times when we have random chat while watching tv.

When i said my insecurity, he said that i must say what i like, or not from what he done. So he can change it to the way i want. What kind of brother would do and ask that thing to his first cousin sister?

Yesterday he caught a bad cold. And i came home just because he wont drink his medicine. As i remember he WILL listen to me. And yes. He listened me lol

The first time i came home, he said that he's so happy to see me. And he said i must know the reason. But i said that i dont. And he cutted the chat about it. We chat alot after that. He even say that i should not date a boy(idk if its a joke or not. Because he said he might be jealous)

He had a glance at my new headphone. He asked if its new. So i tell him that its from someone. He insisted i must tell him. So i tell him that its from someone who like me. And then he kept silent for a few moment while hold my shoulders from behind and then answer "but i like u too. But a different like ya?(idk if its a question or not)" the way he hold me was like trying to block my view of him.

For some reason i feel uneasy to leave that thing like that. So i tell him that actually im scared of that guy who gave me the headphone. 

After that we were cuddling until bed time. We cuddling, holding hand, jokes and laughs at nothing all the time.

But he says that im his close friend and family. Does it mean he. . .doesnt realize his true feeling, trying to hide it in the name or family, feel confused because im his cousin or im really are a displacement of someone he like?

Edited by CatchyEyes
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An update :

last night we were cry together because of hard feeling we felt. He said he is sad because of me saying things and sulking to him. And he thought himself is not a good one because he made me upset. He even think he should just be back to his dorm(he is staying in my house for a week already).

idk if he is really think me as close friend(or family). Or he doesnt aware of his feeling.

today, usually when i wake him up, he will ask my hand for him to hold. But its not the same today. He is not asking my hand. He even barely see me in my eyes since last night when im sulking to him.

Does he realize what i might feel about him(that im atracted to him)? Or he is aware of what he may feel for me?

Does it means that all his affections are only because he is a sensitive one?

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