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Daniela30

I need advice of how to respond to my Aunt finding out that I’m dating my cousin.

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Hello, I am in a very stressing moment right now. I’ve been dating my cousin since One year. We have a long distance relationship Ive seen him 4 times in 2018. I was planning to travel in 2 weeks. But his mother just found out we were dating. She saw our messages on his facebook account that he left opened. We were hiding all this time. We planned to first move out together and see if it works, tell all the family about it. Now that his mother is aware, she is extremely mad and told him she was going to say to all our family. She’s aware that Im supposed to travel there soon. She mentioned saying to my sister and my grand mother. We are latinos. They are extremely against it. Specially over there. I live in Canada. Now she treats him like a complete holy crapoly!. And told him that she wouldnt say anything if he breaks up with me and tells me he has a gf over there. Now apparently shes planning to write me a letter and send it to me via his messenger. To pretend that she just discoreved us. She is a very difficult woman in general and super impulsive and agressive when she is mad. He told me to play along so she thinks we are breaking up. For her not to tell the family. I honestly don’t know what to expect. My cousin is afraid she would insult me and that I would change my mind about us. I honestly love him very deeply. But I just don’t know what to say to her. I have had a problem like that in the past like 8 years ago when I was 17. I had a cousin who really had a crush on me and my family saw that and made the biggest problem of my life and I never went back after 7 years to my country. For me this is different as I do see him like the man of my life. Also the fact that I am traveling to see my mother who is their neighbour. I don’t know how will I tell my mom that I don’t want to visit my aunt, she would find that extremely weird. As I usually like to spend time with them. My mother is a very religious person with a very strong caracter. Anybody who has been through this and has good advice of how to respectful respond to their cousin’s parents? He is the last kid. And he doesnt have a father.. 

Thank you in advance❤️

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Well. . .alot of ppl doesnt approve something like this. Especially those with strict religion(well mine have a specific order that u may marry ur cousin). And those who really disgust over dwarf child or disable ppl. 

side aside that. I just want to ask u 1 thing. Do u really love him? Like u really dare to take all responsibility and a great stress for him? Try to run from ur house(not really recommend this. Since its so childish Lol).

As i know, ppl with narrow minded cant be talked to. They wont accept any weird thought of other. 

So, maybe u cant keep playing that pretend that ur love to him died game so u still can be in a good relationship with ur family or u can just run from ur house. 

Give me an update of what u done later please? 

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check out the "letter to mom" post pinned to one of these forums. i'm actually not sure what it's titled, but it's something like that. maybe 'how to tell your mom'. that will give you a lot of good ideas.

but honestly, cousins can marry throughout canada and you are adults. my advice is to politely respond to any criticism with "this is not up for discussion" and change the subject. if she won't let the subject drop, politely tell her that you enjoyed seeing her again, kiss her on the cheek or give her a hug or whatever you usually do, and then leave. 

by the way, you're in your mid 20's. i'm assuming you and your cousin are not still living with your parents, right?

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