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I fooled around with my cousin and I don’t know if he feels the same way about me

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Okay... I didn’t really want to write anything here, because I think writing what I feel would validate that I really am in love with my cousin and I’ve been on and off about sharing my problem orrrr feelings. But I badly need advices from people who experienced the same thing I’m going through. I’m a female and I tried looking up an article or something about females liking or falling in love with their cousins but I could hardly find any. I could say that we’re close... he always came to our house to visit, I knew I like him way before something happened between us, I just don’t know if he feels the same towards me. But he was the one who first said “I love you” and calls me endearments such as “babe” and I don’t know if he’s just like that? I don’t wanna read too much on his actions but it’s hard when you’re attracted to that person, we used to talk regularly, he would write me just to tell me he misses me, but then, one night, while he stayed overnight we kinda fooled around... you know, we got way too touchy-feely and that’s it, we cuddled, he “touched” me and we almost kissed but we were both pretending to be “asleep” when it happened, I think we’re both too nervous to actually do it and then when morning comes we acted as if nothing happened and went back to how we were like, we talked about the incident and he said that he couldn’t stop thinking about it and that he was sorry that he let it happen. And then the next week he came to visit and it happened again but this time it went farther than that, he pulled me closer to him as we slept, we touched each other, cuddled, kissed and even held hands as we sleep and that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever experienced. But then, it’s like he started ignoring me, he grew distant that I felt ashamed to even write him because I felt like he doesn’t want to talk with me anymore... so I left him a single long message about how I felt like he’s avoiding me and tried to bring up what happened but he said that he was just really busy with work and that he’s not avoiding me. He told me that what happened was wrong and how it’s not supposed to happen again and I took all of that well, of course, I know that most people think it’s wrong but I just can’t think of any reason why he let it happen when he perfectly knows it’s wrong and how can he do that twice if he didn’t but feel nothing about me? I don’t know what I should do as I can't stop thinking  about him... should I tell him how I feel? I’m afraid it’ll ruin everything between us although I think there’s already a gap between us because of what happened. Looking forward to hearing from you guys! Thank you ?

Edited by RAE

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I’ll second Nat’s question and also ask if either of you is married. Anyway, here’s my answer, assuming you’re both unmarried and over 18:

He’s a guy. Apparently he finds you *physically* attractive. He doesn’t mind getting handsy and playing around when he can use the guise of being “asleep”. Of course, you appreciate the attention and find him attractive, too. The difference is that it doesn’t seem that he’s really into you beyond the physical pleasure. That probably sounds terrible and even unimaginable since he’s your cousin and you see him as a nice guy. But it’s just the reality. He doesn’t want a relationship for one reason or another, in my opinion. That could be because he doesn’t want to date his cousin or it could be that he’s just a dog in general.

If you tell him what you’re feeling right now, expect him to be a little freaked out and to ghost you for a while. I’d let this go, proceed with extreme caution. Stay friends and avoid letting him get any farther until you have this more clearly defined. You don’t want a pleasurable night to end up going way too far and then being permanently ghosted (and maybe even pregnant). This site is full of those stories. Just my 2¢.

Best wishes

CM

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6 hours ago, ColoradoMarried said:

I’ll second Nat’s question and also ask if either of you is married. Anyway, here’s my answer, assuming you’re both unmarried and over 18:

He’s a guy. Apparently he finds you *physically* attractive. He doesn’t mind getting handsy and playing around when he can use the guise of being “asleep”. Of course, you appreciate the attention and find him attractive, too. The difference is that it doesn’t seem that he’s really into you beyond the physical pleasure. That probably sounds terrible and even unimaginable since he’s your cousin and you see him as a nice guy. But it’s just the reality. He doesn’t want a relationship for one reason or another, in my opinion. That could be because he doesn’t want to date his cousin or it could be that he’s just a dog in general.

If you tell him what you’re feeling right now, expect him to be a little freaked out and to ghost you for a while. I’d let this go, proceed with extreme caution. Stay friends and avoid letting him get any farther until you have this more clearly defined. You don’t want a pleasurable night to end up going way too far and then being permanently ghosted (and maybe even pregnant). This site is full of those stories. Just my 2¢.

Best wishes

CM

Hi! Thank you for your response and honestly, I think that he doesn’t really want to do anything with me... it just kinda messes with my head as I’m clearly attracted to him. And as for the going any farther, I’ll do my best to not let anything happen as I definitely don’t wanna be ghosted and I don’t wanna lose him. Thank you! 

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Yea it sounds like he enjoyed playing house but had second thoughts. If he wanted you, he would let know it. Guys are experts at making fools of ourselves and when it comes to women we don't even care.

Guys are never too busy to keep in touch with a love interest.

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13 hours ago, KC said:

Yea it sounds like he enjoyed playing house but had second thoughts. If he wanted you, he would let know it. Guys are experts at making fools of ourselves and when it comes to women we don't even care.

Guys are never too busy to keep in touch with a love interest.

Hi! Honestly, at first I was thinking that maybe he’s just not comfortable with the thought of being with a cousin but I also thought that one’s never too busy if they love a person. So yeaaah~ he doesn’t care. Lol. Thank you! I really appreciate how this site is not biased ?

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