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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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zbarton1

Hey guys. well just the typical thing.

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I'm been recently connecting with my family. I have a lot of family in Louisiana and recently moved back home to Louisiana from Florida. And a couple months ago I started reconnecting with my first cousin. She's slightly older than me but age is only a number. Anyways we've been talking awhile and I told her that I was going to Florida to visit and she asked if she can come along I said sure, she explained her intentions (needing fresh air and a vacation) I said that's fine. Then we started sharing a little about ourselves. She found out I smoke some weed and she said why didn't you ever tell me about that. Found out she does as well. I was joking around one night and said if we go on this trip you'll have to share a bed with me you know right? She said I know. I kinda figured. Then I was joking around last night she told me she was single and bi. I said oh well we should share a girl and she said ok. Now my question is what if this progresses into something more. I treat her the way she needs to be treated with respect (the guys she has been with haven't been the kindest to her) besides the kidding around asking her these questions. I figure that if it does progress into something that I would stand next to her no matter what happens and I am fine with it.

Sitting here typing this has me all worked up and nervous.

I asked her if she'd live with me and share a bed with me and she said yes. I don't know what to do.

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No I'm going to honor it. I'm just thinking if this is all moving to quick. I want it to last and not end up messing it up. I worry too much

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I am always amazed when overtures of a sexual relationship are made before a real relationship is even begun.  You even invited her to come and live with you! Slow down here honey.  You are moving way too quickly!

The offer of a ride to FL should be honored.  But the offer of a shared bed - not necessarily so.  You claim you treat her with respect, but hopping into bed with her without a commitment to her is not evidence of that.  I may sound harsh here, but I think you know that I am speaking the truth.  You are having reservations about how quickly things are moving - and rightly so.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do relationship wise.  She may even appreciate the fact that you are wanting to take a step or two back.

And I for one am not really interested in your illegal activity.  If you wanna smoke some weed, we don't need to know about it. 

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Oh no. I wasn't meaning coitus. I meant we'd have to share a bed when I rent a room or something for the night. I'm going to honor it of course she's been needing the time away as well. She's been having issues with our family and her dad. Our family isn't as close as others. My father, her father, uncle and two aunts fended for themselves. So really we were pretty close before. So yes I have more respect for her. But maybe it's just because I realized that me and her are so alike. I'm not sure. Maybe it's just a thing.

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Well then, I'm not sure why you posted all the extraneous information about sexual preferences or why you posed the question about "what if this progresses into something more".  If you are uneasy about things progressing quicker than you like, then you need to find her another place to sleep on your holiday.

And I'm sorry, but saying that if this progresses into something more you are "fine with it" sounds more like a resignation than a commitment.  You have things all mixed up here.  Either you want to treat her with respect and therefore you are going to practice some self-control and not sleep in the same bed with her until you are ready to make a commitment to her, or you are going to tempt fate and just throw all concerns to the wind.  A man would find other sleeping arrangements.  I mean seriously, do you really believe you can go away together with someone you are attracted to, sleep in the same bed for a number of days and not have anything happen?  This sounds like the classic scenario that mothers preach to their children about sex  - don't put yourself in a tempting situation so you are more likely to make smart decisions.

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