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KC

All right!

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I get to start off the newest forum. I hope many find it helpful.

I am one of those who is "broken" because of a breakup after a 20-some year marriage to my cuz.   Well, I was broken the first time we broke up for an extended time period. The second time I am like, "Yo! Get the f out of my life! You crazy ..." (Yeah I am aware of the language). Can I just be myself for a minute here?

My wife's brother (my fav cousin! lol) used to say, "Oh, you guys have been together f-o-r-e-v-e-r."  Yeah no kidding, we are real-life kissing cousins from the get-go.

My biggest problem now is that  I still dream about her. Not those kind of dreams necessarily. Pervs! Well, OK maybe those too. But I wake up and realize that she is gone and I jump out of bed and I feel great. I thank God that she is gone!

Thank you for reading. Despite my levity, I know the pain of a nasty breakup. That is why I started this forum.

Edited by KC
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Thanks for all of the outpouring support! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Kiss my grits.

I can say this because I started this site.  No wonder this website is going downhill.

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hey, i only saw this this morning! i haven't been online much lately. i think it's totally natural to have dreams about people (and even places) that have been an important part of your life, and you'll never stop having them. i still occasionally have a random dream or two about people i once fancied myself in love with long before mark came into the picture. hmmm.... i don't think any of those dreams ever include my ex-husband though. i'm sure some psychiatrist could unravel some deep mystery as to why. but heck, i even have fairly regularly occurring dreams of the pool hall i worked at when i was in my 20s! i quit working there nearly a quarter-century ago.

the important thing is when you wake up from those dreams, you wake up looking forward and not back. you've got this KC!

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Guest Thomas
On 3/6/2019 at 3:12 AM, KC said:

I get to start off the newest forum. I hope many find it helpful.

I am one of those who is "broken" because of a breakup after a 20-some year marriage to my cuz.   Well, I was broken the first time we broke up for an extended time period. The second time I am like, "Yo! Get the f out of my life! You crazy ..." (Yeah I am aware of the language). Can I just be myself for a minute here?

My wife's brother (my fav cousin! lol) used to say, "Oh, you guys have been together f-o-r-e-v-e-r."  Yeah no kidding, we are real-life kissing cousins from the get-go.

My biggest problem now is that  I still dream about her. Not those kind of dreams necessarily. Pervs! Well, OK maybe those too. But I wake up and realize that she is gone and I jump out of bed and I feel great. I thank God that she is gone!

Thank you for reading. Despite my levity, I know the pain of a nasty breakup. That is why I started this forum.

Would you like to tell us some details of your married life? What exactly, at least in your opinion, might have led both of you to such a state?

I can't ever tell my dad that if he changed his behavior and recognized his mistakes shortly after my mom divorced him, she would have moved back to his house and restarted their marriage (she told me that...). But he didn't do it and she married someone else after a few years. Is your situation somehow "curable"? Maybe there is still hope! Or maybe you should move on and "let go" of your ex-wife (A thoughtful and careful analysis is highly recommended!). If you choose to move on, I would advise against becoming her worst enemy since you're from the same family... Also, telling this from my own conclusions (based on observing other people's divorces), ex-husband v.s ex-wife fighting in court over their children or their former house and belongings can lead to a decade long nasty situation for both. Anyway, it would be nice to hear further details from you since right now I can only assume what your situation might be.
 
@KC, I'm trying to respectfully address you here! Remember that it's entirely up to you weather or not you'd like to share your personal life in such a difficult moment. But since you asked for help...

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Thanks everyone for your feedback. Thanks for your continued confidence in me @ladyc.

I think I really just wanted to throw a temper tantrum.  I would just say that I am consumed with bitter disappointment.

Thomas,  your post is so full of presuppositions that I can't begin to respond. I can say that no way is our marriage salvageable. At this point I am glad it is over.

This too shall pass.

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Here's information from an expert.  KC is doing just fine - he has moved to a new state and is starting a business and making new friends.  How do I know?  Because he moved in with me and NO I am not a replacement for his ex.  He's  too young for me!!! LOL

Nat

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LOL, well, I can't comment on nasty breakups between cousins, as my sweetie and myself are just embarking on our journey. I do know about nasty breakups though. After a tortuous 8 year marriage to a paranoid and suspicious woman who thought I was, literally, screwing everything in skirts, we finally separated. Then she had the NERVE to kick the bucket suddenly and unexpectedly 3 days after I moved out ?

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2 hours ago, ragingdesire61 said:

LOL, well, I can't comment on nasty breakups between cousins, as my sweetie and myself are just embarking on our journey. I do know about nasty breakups though. After a tortuous 8 year marriage to a paranoid and suspicious woman who thought I was, literally, screwing everything in skirts, we finally separated. Then she had the NERVE to kick the bucket suddenly and unexpectedly 3 days after I moved out ?

WOW! So she OD's? What happened to her?

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2 hours ago, KC said:

WOW! So she OD's? What happened to her?

 No, no OD, we weren't drug users. She had a subarachnoid aneurysm....a bleed in her brain.

 

Edited by ragingdesire61

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That is tragic Raging. May I ask how old she was? The way my estranged wife lives, I almost expect the police to knock on the door any day.

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13 hours ago, KC said:

That is tragic Raging. May I ask how old she was? The way my estranged wife lives, I almost expect the police to knock on the door any day.

She had just turned 30. This was nearly 28 years ago.

 The marriage was miserable, for me at least, but I sure didn't wish that on her, or anyone for that matter.

 We could be grocery shopping in the supermarket, and maybe pass a woman in the aisle and if I said as much as "excuse me" to get the shopping cart past her, chit would hit the fan when we got back to the car. " Where do you know her from?". "Where do I know WHO from?". "That woman in the black top you passed in the canned goods aisle." "WHAT?????". "It sure seemed like you knew each other." What the #@!?, I've never seen that woman in my life!" "Right, just deny, deny, deny".

  That's kind of how it went, it was loonytunes. I was never unfaithful, yet she was convinced I had a regular harem of concubines secreted away somewhere. The day I moved out, I was loading stuff up in my pickup, including my firearms, and she calls the police. "It's my husband, and he has a gun!" Needless to say, the cops were over in a flash, they cuff me and have me sitting in the driveway while they interview her. She finally admits that while yes, I "had" a gun, I in no way was threatening her, just merely loading them into my vehicle. Still they took my guns and held them for 30 days and let me go. They should have arrested her arse for a false report. The only good I can say about it all is that I don't have a crazy ex-wife hanging around.

Edited by ragingdesire61

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