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Guest LadyAnn

Are we cousins?

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Guest LadyAnn

Where do I begin. Let's start here. (Smith Family = biological mom's family) (Richards = Step-mothers family) (David's = Biological dads family)

17yrs ago I went to meet my biological mother and met this amazing guy. He waa smary, funny, sweet, compassionate, kind and respectful and a whole list if other things. He was amazing. We instantly hit it off at this family party we happened to both be at. I was at this party because the Smiths were celebrating me being there because it was the first time I had met everyone in the 20+yrs if my existence. Well, this guy and I's letting was ruined when someone said you guys are a bit close you do know you 1st cousins. I was flabbergasted. How can someone be my cousin when I never grew up anywhere near them!!! I was 20 something at the time. Like these people in my mind were not even family because they had no part in my upbringing. So, the cousins I had with the the Richards and David's were my cousins. Not this guy or these other people. This guy and I ended up dating because we both felt like we completed each other and there is no way we were cousins. We felt everyone was playing a joke on us needless to say we ended it after a few weeks because it was getting unbearable with the families fighting and telling us how wrong it was. Since then my relationships have never worked out. I was settle it feels like. We had something special that no one else can even compare to. Go back to Bio Mom Smith. I spent a month with her after she had not been in my life my entire upbringing. This guy was technically her nephew even though his dad and my bio mom had different fathers. She left my father to care for me so she could go out and do her drugs and whatever else she was into. I'm pretty sure up till that day 17 something yrs ago I had met her once or twice but, have no memory of it. And that whole side of the family I didn't know. No one had any part of my life except for one uncle who would keep in touch me occasionally and come to visit me. Other than that. Nothing. These people were complete strangers. David's raised me alone and by himself till I was 9 when he met and married into the Richards. Mrs Richards is by every definition my mom. Always will be. Between the Richards and David's I have a few cousins who I wouldn't even think of wanting something romantic Yuck!!! But, this other guy however I could totally picture myself with forever. In my head he is not family. If I had in fact grew up with him then obviously I would have a different outlook on it. I am now on my way to 42. I have had no contact eith this guy or the Smith family since that time 17+Yes ago. I have thought if him often. However, about a week ago I received a FB request from his mom and then a few days later him. Nothing has changed and no time has been missed since that day. It's like we picked up where it left off. Back to the laughter and the funny stories. However, we are grown ups now. We have made a few jabs about being family and how it's wrong but, we don't think of each other in that way. Even still he has made promises that he will not leave this world without having me as his forever. It's so innocent and pure. How can anyone deny that. It may be weird to other people but, we literally lived with completely different families growing up. Granted. Both him and I have found ourselves in relationships once again that have no meaning and we have been stuck in for the last 3 years. Our situations are complicated. Our lives are complicated because none of our families would support us being together even though no one sees it from out view. It's 2 complete strangers meeting...I don't know what the future holds but, I know I'm enjoying talking to him again and cracking each other up. He is the male version of me and I am his female version. We are 2 peas in a pod. He has said the exact same thing he said back then. He will marry me and I am his soul mate. I feel I am his too. But, like I said we have complicated situations at the moment. Not sure what to do. I do love the person I am with but, we have had more negatives than good. But, am I wrong to feel the way I feel and for him? I've tried to read as much as I can because we know were related because family tells us we are. Just mentally it's not that way.

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Guest LadyAnn

Sorry for the horrible bad grammar and spelling!!! That's terrible!! LOL. I was typing so fast that I didn't even bother double checking!!?

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Well, yes, biologically you are cousins. Socially it seems that you don't view each other that way so....

 

 Ultimately you two will have to decide what the right course is, and IMO a life lived based on the approval or disapproval of others based on some weird and irrational stigma wouldn't be much of a life.

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