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Johncena81

In love with my younger second cousin

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Growing up, I ended up living with my Great Aunt and Uncle for a period of about 4 years. I was nearly 10 years old when I moved in there with one of my brothers. Less than 2 years later, my second cousin was born and I'd help take care of her. I ended up moving out when she was about 2 and didn't see her again until she was 24.

After I ran back into her, when she was 24, nearly 25, I felt an instant bond with her and an immediate attraction to her. She's extremely beautiful too. After a few months, it developed into a full blown relationship. We ended up making love 3-5 times a day for months straight and she ended up getting pregnant to me. We're now engaged and have a beautiful baby boy together. He is completely healthy with no problems at all. He's a few months old right now. She's telling me now that she wants to have another baby with me. She already had 3 kids before we got together and I already had 3 kids too. 

Here lies the issue. Initially, I thought that she was my cousin and so I wouldn't make a move on her, even though I was really wanting to. I then found out that my father was adopted and as far as I thought it was my grandmother that adopted him (which would be her grandmothers biological sister and the one I lived with for 4 years growing up). I even told her that too, because she was nervous about it at first too. After we made love a few dozen times, I later found out that my father was adopted by my grandfather and not my grandmother. My sister and brother and her father and sister and more all told her that we're biological cousins and she just shrugged it off. I'm trying to figure out how I can tell her without upsetting her that we are indeed biological second cousins. I love her so much and I want to marry her and I really don't mind having another baby with her at all. I need some advice to help make this process go smoothly. We've been together in an active relationship for 14 months now and I never want to be without her. Thanks for all of your help and advice. Please no negative comments, because I do LOVE my second cousin and I'm not gonna leave her.

Edited by Johncena81

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I don't see the problem.  You've already had a child together.  

I believe 2nd cousins are legal to marry anywhere in the U.S.  Tell her that.  Why would actual biology make a difference?   Many (if not most) states place a caveat that the 1st cousin relationship is criminalized if the relationship is biological or through adoption.  Methinks you are overthinking.  Enjoy your life with her.

On 3/12/2019 at 6:20 PM, Johncena81 said:

Please no negative comments, because I do LOVE my second cousin and I'm not gonna leave her.

The surest way to get dishonest answers or to get negative comments is post something like the above.  Either come here seeking sincere advice, even if it's not what you want to hear, or go elsewhere.

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ditto what serendipity said. you love each other, you have a beautiful bouncing baby boy together, now give that baby a proper family! and the rest of the kids, too! my goodness, that will be a houseful. if you can handle that many children, then overcoming the stigma of marrying a distant cousin should be a piece of cake!

you're not going to find people here criticizing you for loving your second cousin, by the way. but there are people who come here and demand "no negative comments' who get angry when they don't get the affirmation they need. those are usually people who are cheating on a current spouse, or who are pursuing someone who is in a prison romance with a serial killer, or who thinks he's in love with a "mature for her age" 12 year old. yep, we get people like that. you don't sound like you fall in any of those categories.

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I've just read a lot of articles on this subject matter and seen a lot of negative criticism from people that don't understand this kind of relationship. That's why I posted about the negative comments.  But I do love my second cousin and I do intend to marry her this year. She's everything that I've ever wanted in a woman and more.  Our family's know about our relationship and besides the initial wow factor (that seemed to last for a few months), they seem ok with it now. I never thought that I'd be in a relationship like this with any of my cousin's, but it happened and I couldn't be happier to be with her. I love her so much.

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i wish you well! i have been married to my first cousin once removed for 20 years. we had some very rough years, and you will too... but we stuck it out through the tough times and today we have the marriage of our dreams. i hope you can have that too!

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On 3/22/2019 at 3:14 AM, LadyC said:

i wish you well! i have been married to my first cousin once removed for 20 years. we had some very rough years, and you will too... but we stuck it out through the tough times and today we have the marriage of our dreams. i hope you can have that too!

Thank you for everything. 

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