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Advice please :)

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Hi community, this is my first post here 😊

Would anyone care to give some advice? As I have just recently began a relationship with my mum's sister's daughter, making us first cousins. 

To provide some background, I am 20 and she is 28. We're living in different countries. I still live with my parents while she lives with her brother. I am studying in university but am an entrepreneur with my future pretty much in control financially. She is working full time. We've always been close and at times we might have crossed the border. The last time we met though, things really began to happen and we only began our relationship when we went back home. The most we've done together physically is kiss (we're probably never going to go past that). 

I'm asking for advice because not only is this already a sensitive topic, we are Asian and Asians typically are more conservative than other races. We plan to keep our relationship a secret for as long as we can, but as my friend who I confided in pointed out, that can prove to be very tiring. She says she wants to marry me but we know that kind of isn't possible if we don't tell our parents. 

 

Would anyone care to provide some experience or advice for these issues I have?

- How did you tell your parents and family about your relationship? How long was it after the relationship started before you told them?

- How did your parents react when you told them?

- How can we deal with missing each other when we're not physically together?

- Has anyone had to keep their relationship secret for a long time? What was it like and are there any tips you could suggest to us to keep our relationship secret?

- Would anyone suggest telling our parents? And if so, how should we do it?

- Would any Asian cousin couples care to give some advice re Asian things? If you're Asian you'll know 😅(Particularly with nosy mothers)

 

We're completely mad for each other and nothing can separate us, but I'm worried about the whole "keep it a secret forever" thing, and how the family would react if we told them. 

Thanks very much to everyone in advance for your responses 😊

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I have no advice concerning the Asian aspect of your situation, since I am not Asian.

If you nose around here you will find plenty of stories that echo your situation.  Personally, we waited 3 or 4 months before telling family and started with those we knew would be the most receptive.  My cousin's family, minus his dad, have been great.  But even his dad respects the two of us, even if he doesn't approve.  My family was indifferent at first and have grown cold over time.  I don't care.

There's a post pinned to one of the forums titled "How To Tell Your Mom".  Read it and adapt it for your particular situation; it contains some good advice

Long distance relationships are hard; we did it for a year.  Keeping in frequent contact by phone and seeing each other every 6-8 weeks helped us weather through the separation.

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