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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Hello everyone , I need to get this off my chest. I think I am really into my cousin. He lives in a different country and haven't seen him in almost 7 years but please hear me out . I'm 20. And he's 27. Don't freak about the age it's quite normal in my culture . We are first cousins. He is the son of my moms brother , so my uncle, whom I never met because he passed away when my cousin was just months old. Anyways, ever since I could remember, I've always felt a strong attraction to my cousin. Just him in particular . I always tell my mom how I wish he weren't my cousin. Recently I've spoken to him and I just feel this HUGE connection. Such a huge force of energy between us. However he has absolutely zero idea. Completely clueless . Especially since I haven't seen him in long . We haven't really flirted much either . Supposed my name were Emily ,The most he has said to me is "my, Emily" It'd be so amazing to have you here." He also stops the conversations short sometimes. And doesn't always talk to me all the time. I asked if he had a gf and he said no. He also calls me "cousin" instead of my name half the time and it kills me. I call him cousin too because I don't want him to know. I'm afraid for him to know. I plan to go in a few months . But I'm so afraid because I know my feelings will only get stronger. My heart has been pounding hard just by thinking of him. I feel him to be so perfect in my eyes. We are both very Christian and I'm afraid of that too. What does God think ? My biggest fear is Got not approving , and my other fear is him not ever knowing how I feel . Perhaps my visit over to that country will help out . But I hate feeling THIS intense . It hurts . I just want to cry because I can't even tell him. The only person that knows is my best friend and she didn't even oppose it, thankfully. What do I do?:(

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First off, a 7 year age difference is no big deal - I've dated men who were 10, 12, 16 years older than me!

Secondly, you are going to have to take a deep breath and relax a little!  It's quite clear that you are attracted to this man, but you haven't seen him in 7 years and you are letting your emotions go all haywire! When you get to see him in a few months, make the opportunity to spend some time with him casually - go to a cafe or to dinner together and just see what happens.  You are never going to know if something can exist between the two of you until you test the waters a little bit.  You think he doesn't know how you feel - but you might be surprised!

Thirdly, there is no biblical ban on cousin relationships.  There is a great source on this site that deals with religious topics.  Take some time to read through it.

P.S.  I've been dating my 1st cousin for almost 6 months and I am a Christian.  :smiley:

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