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Guest chubbybunny

2nd cousins

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Guest chubbybunny

okay so, I guess I just want advice. I am dating my 2nd cousin. Never knew him growing up or anything. I am 25 and he is 38, so several years older. We are both aware that we are 2nd cousins. My parents know, his parents know. My dad doesn’t talk about it, bc I assume it bothers him. My mom doesn’t care. His parents have invited me over for holidays and stuff, I just feel like I can’t do that, probably because the whole idea about dating a cousin is “weird”. I try to forget that we’re cousins and then I think about it and I question whether it’s really that bad? It didn’t bother me for a long time and now sometimes it does. We have been together now for 2 years. My CLOSE friends know, they honestly don’t care and say do what makes you happy. Is 2nd cousin dating really that bad? Does it make me a weirdo? Should I just stopping thinking too much? 

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Guest Guests12

I wonder why it's just now bothering you? 

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Guest chubbybunny

It didn’t just start. It bothers me from time to time. Like I feel like everyone knows when they see us together. They don’t, unless we told them. But idk it’s just something that comes and goes I guess 

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Guest Guests12

Do you think it's something that will eventually go away? After two years and being accepted by those close to you it seems like those thoughts wouldn't be lingering. Not saying you can help it. I'm just trying to dig into if you think it might actually be coming from some other place. 

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You are overthinking this.  From a legal perspective, 2nd cousins face no ramifications.

If dating your 2nd cousin makes you a weirdo then I guess I'm off the rails looney because 3 years ago today I married my 1st cousin.

Make sure that the cousin factor is the only thing bothering you.

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Guest Guest193

I understand where you are coming from. My husband of 17 years is my 2nd cousin, and if I think about it too much it bothers me because of how I perceive society may judge me. My biggest fear is for my children but I try to remind myself that no where is it illlegal, and that we are consenting well educated adults who really fell in love and were the right match. We didn’t know each other until we met as adults and our whole family has no issues with it. 

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Guest Guests12
9 hours ago, Guest Guest193 said:

I understand where you are coming from. My husband of 17 years is my 2nd cousin, and if I think about it too much it bothers me because of how I perceive society may judge me. My biggest fear is for my children but I try to remind myself that no where is it illlegal, and that we are consenting well educated adults who really fell in love and were the right match. We didn’t know each other until we met as adults and our whole family has no issues with it. 

I don’t know how to respond directly to Guest193 without hijacking ChubbyBunny’s thread. Just curious how you and your husband met? 

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Guest Guest193

@ Guest12 We met when I travelled to Australia from the Uk in my early 20’s. I stayed with his parents and we were introduced then. The connection was instantaneous and while we kept it quiet initially I dont even have any memory of us being concerned about the consanguinity as we genuinely didn’t feel related as we knew nothing about each other growing up. It is my children I worry about , being picked on. We don’t tell anyone outside our family as a rule. 

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