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Guest RI_anon90

Should i take this as...? (Signs and hints)

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Guest RI_anon90

I'm 28 and male. I have always been attracted to my older cousin, who is 34 and on again off again with her boyfriend who is immature and oblivious. She used to babysit me when we were young. We used to cuddle and watch movies - but not sure if she remembers. 

Well, six or seven months ago I mentioned over a drunk text (not advised) something like, "yeah, like I could possibly land my cousin..." I don't remember anything apart from her responding, "well, i do have a fiancee (again, they break up and get back together all the time). I brought it up to her, about being embarrassed for saying it. She said she didn't remember - and that it must not have bothered her much because she doesn't remember. 

She has always been very caring to me in ways she isn't with other family members around our age. 

I feel a bond with her that seems to awaken when I see her every few months and when we talk over text and the phone....Please, any advice or thoughts? Thank you

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6 hours ago, Guest RI_anon90 said:

"well, i do have a fiancee (again, they break up and get back together all the time).

This is a rejection bro. However, the your response to this was the mistake. You should have owned what you did and not be embarrassed for saying it. Pretty much you have backpedalled all the way back to zero when you do that! Oh well...

So here's my suggestion: forget this incident and start afresh. Obviously she loves the uncaring boyfriend. What if you become that kind of guy? Do you think it will work? Namely, "be a jerk" to her (like how the boyfriend treats her) and see if it works. You cannot be the "guy patching up her wounds" but be the guy she sees attractive -- know what I mean? For if she is attracted to the oblivious, immature guy, why not PRETEND to be one just so that she might POSSIBLY like you? I am serious with my suggestion and see if it works. Now of course, use discretion and be smart. You know what I mean since you said that you are already 28.

Keep it cool, bro.

 

Pooch

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or perhaps the fiancee is immature and oblivious because that's how ALL humans tend to see the competition when we think we're a better catch.

pooch, this is not the first time i've seen you encourage guys to be jerks to the woman they're attracted to. it's insane advice.

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Really Pooch?? Treat her like a jerk??  Going back to your "old" advice?

Maybe you need to rethink your attitude toward women.

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Guest Guests12

Yeah, definitely don’t play games. Men who do that don’t actually “get the girl.” (No one does who plays games). You want a real relationship. True love is possible when you’re yourself and confident. 

I think you already planted a seed in her mind with that comment about landing a cousin. All you can do now is go with the flow, be fun for her to talk to, and be her friend. I think you should just be patient. It may happen. It may not. If a moment presents itself you’ll know. You don’t need to force it.

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8 hours ago, Romalee said:

Really Pooch?? Treat her like a jerk??  Going back to your "old" advice?

Maybe you need to rethink your attitude toward women.

You misunderstood my friend.

I purposely put "be a jerk" in quotes. What I mean (and all guys understand this) is not to be the colorless, basic, bland and standard guy. Obviously the "uncaring boyfriend" is appealing to her. It is my opinion that if the girl is attracted to the uncaring boyfriend, then it is almost as if I am saying "if you can't beat them join them"... But actually it's more than that. What I am saying is be the guy that will make him not ignorable...somebody who will separate him from the flock. Coz remember what I said in the end? And I quote:

On 4/1/2019 at 3:52 PM, pooch said:

Now of course, use discretion and be smart. You know what I mean since you said that you are already 28.

Of course if he hurts the girl and acts stupid then he will  lose his cousin -- which is not what we are trying to do. It will be counterproductive. 

Oh, and what does it have to do with my views toward women?! I have two sisters -- both younger. Both are professionals and educated...but guess what? Their boyfriends are... yeah, newsflash...jerks! hahaha.. Jerk not in a way of being disrespectful or being hurtful. Of course I don't mean that. What I mean is the guy whom they (my sisters) can spar with, the guy who knows himself, confident and can get under your skin sometimes, social, gregarious, talkative, takes initiative and sometimes oversteps, proud to the point that it will make your eyebrows cross, definitely accomplished and "the don" (no pun intended to Donald Trump. but yeah. lol.. you get the point).

Now my comment about this stops here: for this not a thread for neither of us. Try to open another thread and we can continue the discussion on a separate thread.... but to say "Going back to your 'old' advice. Maybe you need to rethink your attitude towards women" is just plain ad hominem -- which I don't plan on engaging on....All I care about is the topic of the thread and the need for a response to the threadstarter.

But then regardless, you see, mine is a legit opinion and it is up to the forumer to take my advice or leave it. (of course I hope he takes it. lol). But be that as it may, in no way I am advicing anything malicious or hurtful. What must be done, actually, is to see what advice works, eh? Let's wait for our dear forumer who is asking an advice to see what works for him based from our advice. He knows what's best in his situation and see what works...We can wait for his response and I'm pretty sure that mine will be validated. If not, then so be it..

Maybe yours is better, right? But you haven't given any yet so far....

 

Pooch

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