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Guest FreeSpirit

I Want To Leave My Husband For My Cousin

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Guest FreeSpirit

Here I sit, at work none the less and allllllllll I can do is think about my amazing, funny, handsome, rugged, adventures...cousin. I have been married for over a decade, in my early 30's with kids and I have been having an affair with my cousin for a couple of months. My husband constantly has me on an emotional rollercoaster. He comes out of nowhere gripping at me, tells me Im lazy, I never do enough, etc. I work 40 plus hrs a week, volunteer, very involved in our community, etc. Since this affair began I have been so much happier, my cousin too! I have reallt been considering leaving my husband but am so afraid of the consiquences. Help!

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FreeSpirit,

 Since this was double posted, I deleted the copy.

 Now, as to advice. You will find this community to be very supportive of cousin relationships, UNLESS one or both are married/in other relationships. Our advice is going to be to stop the shenanigans with the cousin, do everything you can to salvage your marriage, and should that NOT be possible, divorce BEFORE continuing to carry on with your cousin. Kinda the TL/DR version of our standard donation to this sort of party, so don't be surprised if this is elaborated on by others.....

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Why do you only work 30 hours a week? Are you crippled or something? If you don't like the fact that your husband keeps pointing out that you're lazy then I would just tell him so.

 I I would try to make my husband happy. Get a second job. He probably knows you are running around like a little busy bee. Yeah too much time on your hands. Well obviously he is right. You have enough time to chase after your rugged cousin. What does rugged mean anyway? I like to think of myself as rugged. Sometimes I skip a day without shaving.

Go do some work please. Something constructive.

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I'm getting ready to smack KC up side the head!  Of all the idiotic comments!

 

I've been through sometime similar and got a divorce.  which, I think, saved my life.

I found a book that is very helpful in dealing with difficult people in a positive manner.  It is Nasty People, How to Stop Being Hurt by  them without stooping to their level/  You can get it from Amazon.  

I do agree with Hawk that you should sort out your marriage before continuing with your cousin.  

Pay no attention to KC's humor - I'll be sorting him out.  LOL

Send me a message if you want to know more.  I'm on your side!!!

HUGS

Nat

 

 

 

 

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Guest FreeSpirit
20 hours ago, KC said:

Why do you only work 30 hours a week? Are you crippled or something? If you don't like the fact that your husband keeps pointing out that you're lazy then I would just tell him so.

 I I would try to make my husband happy. Get a second job. He probably knows you are running around like a little busy bee. Yeah too much time on your hands. Well obviously he is right. You have enough time to chase after your rugged cousin. What does rugged mean anyway? I like to think of myself as rugged. Sometimes I skip a day without shaving.

Go do some work please. Something constructive.

Well...I work 40 plus hours in town and I along with my husband also farm 200 head of beef cattle, my husband just throws low blows constantly. We live in a little town where everyone knows us and our families, etc. that also includes my cousin. "Rugged" to me is a sexy thing. To me  it means long hair,  scruffy, tattoos, i don't really know other then that's how I would explain it. For the kids, the farm, divorce is not an option at the moment. Honestly my kids will be out of the house (hopefully) by the time I'm 40 so I initially wanted to hold out until then but the last 2 months have really thrown a wrench in that. Until i found this website, honestly, i thought i was a freak but clearly this is more "normal" then I could have imagined and that does put my heart at some ease. ***I live close to Arkansas so unfortunately have always heard the "cousin" jokes my whole life* I am not botheted by KC, I'm a very smarta**ed person myself and Nat, thank you, I may just take you up on that.  Also, sorry for the double post. It wasn't loading (or that's what I thought anyways)

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you're married. that means your cousin is off limits. you need to find a way to reconnect with the man you vowed to share your life with, and that means you're going to have to walk away from the sexy cousin.

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I think LadyC is correct, although she and I both know that sometimes marriages come to an end. If that is the case, now is a very good time to break the news to your husband. You should do this before you are any more wrapped up in your cousin. You really put us in a bad spot when asking "should I leave my husband for my cousin." The short answer is no, of course. 

My wife and I have been on and off for years. Two years ago, I decided to try again with her -- not because it was easy but because it was hard. There was a whole lot of crap to get past and to process. The experiment didn't work out but I am glad that I gave it one last shot. Is that an option for you? I suggest that you give it another try with your husband, maybe go on a cruise. In my opinion, you should keep the affair to yourself and take it to your grave. Look, if it doesn't work out, then do it right. Leave your husband before you start back with your cousin.

Second marriages statistically are more likely to fail than first marriages. If you keep carrying on with your cousin, you may very well end up with nothing but a lot of heartbreak. I would hate to see that.

Affairs are a great way to burn bridges. You are sabotaging your marriage. Are you sure you want to go down this road?

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On 4/17/2019 at 12:16 PM, Guest FreeSpirit said:

He comes out of nowhere gripping at me, tells me Im lazy, I never do enough, etc. I work 40 plus hrs a week, volunteer, very involved in our community, etc

I can see a contradiction here.

Either you are wrong or your husband. So, are you lazy or not?? If I ask your husband why does he think that you are lazy, I expect him to say to me that he expects you to be like a lawyer working for 60+ hours a week. Am I correct? 😅

 

Pooch

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hey pooch, glad you can see what i can see.  The OP says she can handle her own. Let's see if she comes out swinging 😂😂😂

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for the record, pooch needs a head goring even worse than i do. ask anybody. wait. i just threw pooch under the bus. Sorry man.

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