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Guest DuckCommanderSR

Two issues

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Guest DuckCommanderSR

Hey guys, I have two issues I'd like to ask for advice on. The first is anyone on here who's a country person having to deal with the stereotypes of country people interested romantically in their cousins because "they have no other options" which in my opinion is just complete ignorance. Which makes me feel I can't tell anyone I know about my feelings for her. And the second is that she's currently in a relationship. Which I'm supportive of her and just want to let her know I'm there for her. Anyone who read this, thank you and any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

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Guest Ally

First, that’s a stereotype across a lot of our society. The stereotype is that “out of all the fish in the sea.” Falling for a cousin is not a “choice” for many. That’s why we’re on this board looking for others who understand how we feel. It’s not a situation we grow up hoping to be in when we find someone we really like and could possibly see ourselves involved with. If your relationship with her progresses to a point you both decide to be romantically involved I’m assuming you’ll either want to go somewhere where it’s easy for you to be together without others knowing the relation or you just keep it undercover in your current community. The last option is the least appealing one if you ask me. 

As for her being in a another relationship, you can tell her your feelings but make clear to her that you’re not expecting an answer from her. You just wanted her to know. Let her make the choice on who she wants to be with and be understanding (not just with her but yourself) if she chooses to stay with the other person. Many choose the other person because it’s safe and not wrought with the same social challenges as the cousin relationship. Just keep that in mind if she stays in her relationship. It may be a choice that has more to do with that than you as a person. 

Good luck, 

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I just made an account. Yeah. It's unfortunate that that's the norm for the way people look at cousin relationships. We're no different than any other relationship. We're both Christian so I believe God has a plan for our lives and He knows what's best for both of us. Also when it comes to her current relationship, I'm gonna be supportive of her and be very intentional that I'm there for her if she needs help. I walked beside her through the struggles of her last relationship around 2 years ago and she appreciated that very much. Her and I have always been friends but we've gotten so much closer since then. Enough so that it's easy for others to think that we're a couple. 

Edited by DuckCommanderRD

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