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Guest hes4me

If we get married in another state...

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Will our state accept it? We live in Pennsylvania & for 10yrs have been going to go get married in Maryland (btw are we legal in Md? I have fertility problems, but by law since I'm/he's not fixed we technically can have children & I know in some states have provisions) but we've never got around to it  :rolleyes: Now that we're seriously thinking about it I'm wondering if Pa will even accept it as a legal marriage? Or will we fall under that " Piss Pa off ~ enact felony fallback law" category?

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The home page has a link to state laws where you can get details... but here is the bottom line:

It is not legal to get married in PA.  If you do choose to get married in another state where it is legal (it IS legal in Maryland in all cases; see home page), your marriage is considered "voidable" in Pennsylvania, meaning that if someone with standing challenges it in court while you are both still living, the court can declare your marriage void.  Likewise, if either of you wants out of the marriage at any point, it could definitely complicate any "divorce" proceedings.  The "while still living" clause is nice because it minimizes legal issues among bickering relatives when one of you dies (the preferable way to end a marriage).

I point this out because it is important to consider.  My wife and I got married in Colorado, intending that to be our home.  As the years went on, we found that my home state (Kansas) was our true home but their "void" clause is an issue we will eventually have to confront.  Ultimately, our love and marriage is more important to us than the state we call "home" - I can live just about anywhere so if Kansas won't adjust its laws and we can't find a way to live (and die) within them, we'll simply find another state to live in like Colorado or Alaska.

Hope that helps,

CM

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Thank you. I read the State Laws section but I got lost in a the legalize  :rolleyes: I knew I couldn't marry him here, I just didn't know if they would honor the marriage.

What if someone in another state argues it? His ex lives in Ohio & I know she'll be mad about us getting married (in her mind as long as we're not married she can still win him back, even though he's refused to even speak to her for the past 3yrs & gets the kids through a 3rd party). And I'm assuming that she could bring up the darn custody suit again because it's not legal in Ohio either. Crap.

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No one can say for sure what would happen in a custody situation (even if you weren't cousins) but it is not considered "incest" in Pennsylvania.  Whether or not she could seek to have the marriage declared "void" by Pennsylvania is an interesting question that a lawyer in PA may be able to help with.  It's funny how anytime children or money are involved, people get motivated in the weirdest ways to do things they wouldn't normally care about.

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I'm going to call a lawyer tomorrow to see what she can do if anything. The custody is a little scary only because she can be very vindictive when she wants too but since the kids are older (youngest is 15) they should have some say so in the matter also.

I'm considering just trying to convince him to move to Maryland with me.

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hes4me,

If there are jobs for you two in Maryland, I would hoppy skip my behind right on over there. Then you could be legal, and the ex could shove it.

I'm not sure how jobs are out there, but I'm back to work after being off almost a year and a half. It does seem to be picking up a little around here. Best of luck to you all.

Hawk

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Hawk, that sounds like a great idea but it gets a lot more complicated when there are children and custody involved.  Indeed, such a move without proper legal preparation could have drastic consequences.  Would be nice if it could be that simple, though.

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CM,

I'm well aware of that!!! I went through it with the first ex when we went to Georgia back in 1986. It cost $1000 back then to modify the visitation for her two sons. However, if I'm reading this right, the ex in question already lives in Ohio. Since she is already in another state, unless it is like 10mi. right across the state line, there might not be much difference between Pennsylvania or Maryland. That is sort of where I was coming from. Clue us in a little here hes4me.......

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Right now we live almost 3hrs from his kids, we live an hour from the Ohio border & she lives almost 2hrs from the Pennsylvania border. If we move to Maryland that would add another 2.5hrs on to our distance.

It's not only that, my mom died last Jan ('09) which leaves me with my bipolar sister to worry about. Plus his parents are getting older & we live right next door to them, if we move there's noone here if anything happens to them (his sibling's are an hr away). And I've lived here, in this town, literally ALL my life. We moved to WV for a year but only 30mins away. All my friends & family are here. I really love it here. If I had to choose I'd choose Maryland & getting married but I'd really miss this place & I think we'd just end up here. And D doesn't want to move for alot of reasons.

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Likewise, if either of you wants out of the marriage at any point, it could definitely complicate any "divorce" proceedings.

Can you expand on this?

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Yes.  In a state where a marriage is considered "void" or "voidable", if the couple is headed for divorce court and one of the couple contests the divorce (especially in a community property state where one has more to gain and the other more to lose), it's likely that the one with the most to lose will argue for having the marriage declared "void from its beginning", effectively evading the usual divorce laws and community property laws along with them.  This was attempted in Arizona and, according to the AZ Supreme Court, would have been successful had the couple moved to AZ after the void clause was added to the books.  End result:  cousin couples should avoid Arizona if they don't want to fall victim to the "void" clause.

Likewise, if one or the other of the couple dies and there's money involved, it's quite possible that a greedy family member (sibling, parent, or even child) will try to have the marriage declared void from its beginning, leaving the widow(er) out in the cold and taking all assets of the deceased.  This was attempted in Kansas where the KS Supreme Court decided that the void clause would have applied if the couple had married (illegally) in Kansas but does not apply to marriages legally formed in another state; the widow received her inheritance and the greedy family got to go home empty handed.  End result:  cousin couples may live freely in Kansas if legally married in another state without fear of the "void" clause.

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