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First I'll start with a little backstory...

I'm 35, never married, no kids.  She's 33, never married 3 daughters ages 9-16.  We live in the same area, about a 15 min drive apart.  We've known each other our entire lives but never really got close growing up.  As kids we'd only see each other a few times a year on holidays and such.  We never really connected back then but we were always cool and had a mutual respect for one another.  We lost touch for a few years after highschool because she had good reason to separate herself from the family but we reconnected on social media when I was about 22 and that's when I started thinking of her romantically.  To this day I'm the only family member on her dad's side she speaks to.   Since then we've very slowly gotten to know each other more as people and friends.  It started on social media and text here and there and now I see her maybe 4-5 times a year and we message each other weekly.  We talk about what's going on in our lives, relationships a good bit and just normal friends/family chat.  There was a conversation recently that sticks out but I'll get to that later...  We both went through a hard break at about the same time last year and that really brought us closer together.  So, I'll start there.. 

 

In May of last year we both went through our break ups.  We vented to each other via text and were just kind of there for one another for a while.  After that I didn't talk to her much for a couple months until October.  She invited me to the movies with her and her daughters and it was nice, we all had fun.  After that we started texting a lot more, daily infact, and I would flirt with her but never got a great response.  Although at one point she said she wanted to go on a "date" (her words) and we went out in early December.  We had dinner, drinks and saw a comedy show.  It was great!!  On the way home she started telling me what she wanted in a man, for her daughters and so on.  I told her that someday I hoped to find the same things and she started saying how someday she hopes to have a place big enough for me to come and visit all my cousins, have dinner and just be a part of their lives.  Then we both agreed that the bright side to our breakups that year was the opportunity to get to know each other more.  I took her home, she gave me a big hug and we called it a night.  We also planned to go out again when we could.

A few weeks after that the texting slowed down untill February when she invited me to a happy hour.

The happy hour was fun, I met a few of her friends, she joked that since it was a "new month" we were scheduled for a hang out and we even talked about another "just us" night out when spring came around.

I haven't seen her since but when talking about relationships a few weeks ago she said something interesting.  I'm going to copy and paste the conversation below, I hope it's not too far out of context.

 

Me: my ex told me I love to strongly

Her: I do too! And im.to.honest and loyal and its a hard world for.us type of people to be in....But on the postive side i always think ull.never find anyone that can love u like i can i strongly believe that lol...and i like to.know im a good person thats the only thing that gives me.peace of.mind sometimes U have a great day to.

Me: Right I don't think I'll ever find anyone that loves me the way I love them and it's a shame because it's a lot of great things going to waste in my opinion.it blows my mind that people don't understand honesty in the consequences of dishonesty.  over the years I've explained to honesty to my ex probably a million times she either doesn't understand it or doesn't care to be that type of person.  I'm starting to think that most people are 100% selfish and they will put down anyone they have to to get what they want in the moment. Cruel world

Me again: Re read this message.  When you say - but on the positive side.. U think that for real?  Damn...  Love you too. I'll love ya better than anyone else too.   So thankful we've grown closer this past year.  ❤

 

Her: No i said it right lol like if ur talkn to.ur.other half hahahah But im thankful we grown closer tooo

Me: I am talking to my other half.  ❤. You are too.

(She gave a thumbs up to that, end of conversation)

 

Since then we've kept in touch on social media and text like always.  At one point I offered to stay single until she got a bigger place so a woman didn't get in our way. She said that wouldn't be nessasary because we're family and me being with someone wouldn't change that.  (Yes, I offered to wait for her, yes she turned that down)

It's almost summer so I'll be asking her out again soon.

She's moving into a bigger place in about 6 weeks from today.

So I'm just here wondering if others think that she seems interested romantically.  Any advice on how to proceed with her in a more romantic way.  What's a good way to "test the water" a little more?

I just want a healthy and happy relationship with her.  I'd prefer our relationship be romantic but she'd have to want that too.

 

Thanks for reading, looking forward to any and all comments.

 

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Nice thread!

I think you have a future with her...i will reply longer later.

 

Pooch

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Grind, from what I read, it sounds like you two are friendly and able to flirt. It does sound like you two have a future. As I've learned some other major things that she likes you could be her body language when you two are together or if she seems to be different around you, and what I mean by that is more playful or flirty etc. But from the sounds of the text messages you put in your original post. I'd say she likes you. Keep us updated on how everything goes. 

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Hmmm.  I don't know.  Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't.  I can't tell.  She was quick to jump to the family tie.  She turned down your offer to wait for her.  I'm thinking, no.

She has kids and that is her priority.  Coming out of my divorce, even though I went out on dates my first year following, I didn't want a serious relationship and she may be in that exact situation following her breakup.  I presume she broke up with her long term boyfriend? The father of her children?

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On 5/13/2019 at 12:18 AM, DuckCommanderRD said:

 

On 5/13/2019 at 12:18 AM, DuckCommanderRD said:

Thanks for all the great replies everyone and sorry I haven't written back till now but work has been busy.  So, I'm going to try and address everything here.

First, her body language doesn't suggest love or lust but I know for a fact she takes things really slow with guys she likes.  So there is that.

Also, the break up was not with the father of her kids but he is close with them and still hangs around a little bit.  When I asked if they got back together she said no but she doesn't want the kids to loose someone they're close too.  They were together about 3 years.  Her kids are her priority and that can be said for any good mom. 

I'm not worried about when things happen (or not) between us, I'd wait forever for her so I deff won't rush. 

Just kind of curious about testing the waters with her romantically and not sure how to do that at this point without being too obvious in case she's not into it.  Would hate if my whole family found out about my feelings.

 

On 5/13/2019 at 12:18 AM, DuckCommanderRD said:

 

 

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I'm helping her move in two weeks and we've been chatting a lot.  I hope her having a new place gives us more opportunities to hang out.

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