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How do I tell her that there is nothing wrong with it ?

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Hi guys !

I guess I'm in LDR, with my cousin. It all started this winter. We never talked about it before that and for past 7 years we've been living two oceans apart.

She contacted me first and then essentially confessed her love to me, but when I was trying to tell her that I felt the same way all my life, she rejected me! Then again in couple of weeks or so she confessed to me again and then again after sometime she told me that she had confused her feelings for me. These short-term "break-ups" are usually quite dramatic, she calls me names and tells how we can't be a couple because of our differences or that she doesn't like guys like me, stuff like that. She never addresses the fact that we are cousins directly.


I don't really know what to think of it... I think she freaks out because we are cousins.

How do I tell her that there is nothing wrong with us being cousins ?

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We have a saying in NC -- maybe it's an adage: "Let well enough alone." That is my best advice. She is a roller coaster and she will, given time, roll over your soul like a runaway train going 1000 miles per hour. Trouble trouble. Do yourself a favor. Find a wild gypsy women, like I'm looking for. We do not need these crazy women in our lives. We are beautiful, strong men. Damit. Why do we seek self-destruction in this way? It's quicker and less painful to force yourself off of a bridge.

Hey! Just a word to the wise! Big up yourself my friend. 

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On 5/24/2019 at 6:59 PM, KC said:

She is a roller coaster and she will, given time, roll over your soul like a runaway roller coaster going 1000 miles per hour. Trouble trouble. Do yourself a favor. Find a wild gypsy women, like I'm looking for. We do not need these crazy women in lives. We are beautiful, strong men. Damit. Why do we seek self-destruction in this way? It's quicker to force yourself off of a bridge.

I second the motion! :)


What you can do Man-of-the-rain is to know first what she wants. Don't be a jerk to her nor comfort her in anyway.. What you do is push the "ignore gauge" to level 9999. This will make her go crazier for you..and by that, we all know what should be done, right?? Right?? ;);) But I won't say it in this post. lol. But you know what I mean.

So try to ignore her for now and do your thing... That something will make you proud. Do you own a house? Try to do that first if you don't have one --- your semi-crazy cousin that gives you a roller coaster can be texted and messaged on fb once every three days. That will be enough... enough for a spice for you. lol. You gotta resist the temptation of a 6 hour text-marathon. Not good.

So yeah, you have to ignore her, my friend. That will make her come to you all the more. ^__^



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  • 3 weeks later...

I think you fellas might be being a bit harsh here. Obviously there is additional risk in this kind of relationship at the onset that makes people unsure so all you need to add to that is a fairly moderate level of female insecurity and it gets hard to see the forest for the trees for most men. It’s not easy to put yourself out there like that and without being able to see a persons response it’s even harder. I’m imagining you are getting these declarations in emails and in a different time zone so by the time you read it, work through your own stuff and are ready to respond she’s panicked and feels rejected and pathetic. It’s a very real possibility she doesn’t know how you feel but maybe senses it then talks herself out of it thinking she is imagining it. 

Irrespective of the current status I would tell her you feel it too. Maybe it doesn’t go anywhere, maybe it opens up a conversation you need to have, maybe it’s to best thing you ever do. They are all better outcomes than maybe I should have said something once it’s too late. 

we (women) are basically all a bit crazy in love so if you think you have found one that isn’t, it probably just means she a better liar. That’s much worse. 

Be that strong man KC and Pooch are talking about, channel your inner Billy Joel and tell her about it I say. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/12/2019 at 1:37 PM, Louisa said:

It’s a very real possibility she doesn’t know how you feel but maybe senses it then talks herself out of it thinking she is imagining it.


no, we came clear couple of times confessing our love to each other openly. It's just she's backing off each time. Last time she told me that we cant be together because she can never be the one for me, that it's her inner feeling.

But when we talk via skype or on the phone her voice is shaking and she sounds very nervous and she tries often to hang on me or just avoids voice calls in general.

It's all really weird. I think for now I should just explore my and her feelings some more.

P.S. Thanks for your many replies guys ! Sorry for not showing up here.

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