Jump to content
<?php echo esc_attr( get_bloginfo( 'name' ) ); ?>
TC1

I'm having confusing feelings about my second cousin

Recommended Posts

I am brand new to this website. I started having confusing feelings about my second cousin since last week I've never really gotten to know her or see her that much in my life, and the times I did, her and my sister were always hanging out and I was always hanging out with her brother. I'm 17 and she's turning 16 this year and she lives 8 hours away from me. I don't know if I have a crush on her or not, I think she's very cute and the day I saw her in real life again, I added her Instagram and we've been talking about random stuff and she seems so interested in what I have to say and actually listens to me unlike other girls I've tried to talk to. When I talk to her I get the same feeling I got when talking to a girl I liked, except it feels even better because she cares about what I have to say. But one thing is for sure, no matter what, I'm not going to act on these feelings because I don't know if she likes me that way and it would cause a whole lot of awkwardness in the family. I don't think I necessarily would like to be in a kissing relationship with her, but if we hugged, I know I would feel like I was on top of the world. Can someone tell me what I'm going through?

Edited by TC1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, TC1 said:

I'm 17 and she's turning 16 this year and she lives 8 hours away from me. I don't know if I have a crush on her or not,

Dude,

Of course you have a crush on her. Just be honest with yourself especially here in the forum (knowing that you are anonymous anyways). 

17 hours ago, TC1 said:

she seems so interested in what I have to say and actually listens to me unlike other girls I've tried to talk to

Hmm.. I guess both of you have the same interests, eh? You know you can test her with this information, right?

17 hours ago, TC1 said:

But one thing is for sure, no matter what, I'm not going to act on these feelings because I don't know if she likes me that way and it would cause a whole lot of awkwardness in the family. I don't think I necessarily would like to be in a kissing relationship with her, but if we hugged, I know I would feel like I was on top of the world. Can someone tell me what I'm going through?

Yup. It is a "harmless crush" for now... But you can gauge her using the information available. I mean, probably she just sees you as a friend (or maybe you like a friend and not a girlfriend).. It depends on what you want man.. You are the guy, so you got powers... Know what I'm sayin? :)

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks pooch, that's pretty much what I thought, I just didn't want to believe that I was/could be falling for a family member, even if she is my second cousin. Now I'm not saying that people that are in love with their cousins are weird, I actually respect them quite a bit and I think they are very bold and brave, it's just something that was like a "oh, that can't possibly happen to me." But I guess it did, huh?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, TC1 said:

Thanks pooch, that's pretty much what I thought, I just didn't want to believe that I was/could be falling for a family member, even if she is my second cousin. Now I'm not saying that people that are in love with their cousins are weird, I actually respect them quite a bit and I think they are very bold and brave, it's just something that was like a "oh, that can't possibly happen to me." But I guess it did, huh?

Yep.. 

And you know why? It's because of Westermarck effect. You said,

On 5/29/2019 at 9:43 PM, TC1 said:

I've never really gotten to know her or see her that much in my life, and the times I did, her and my sister were always hanging out and I was always hanging out with her brother

You see, you guys didn't really grow up together. Hence, you are still sensitive to sexual attraction to her. Now do you wanna know what's my suggestion? I usually don't give suggestion unless asked since I am not sure what the need of the poster is. But I think you have pretty much got it covered.

Try to know her dad more than her mom and see what happens and I mentioned that since you and her brother hangout together, right? So you guys are pretty close.. She lives 8 hours away anyways and I believe you would want to finish college first and the whole 9 yards.... whole life ahead of ya.. So just take it slow for now man, you are on the right track. ;)

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have dreams of pursuing her anymore as we've been talking, she seems more like a buddy to me now (I guess subconsciously all I wanted was to get the be her friend but I read my own feelings wrong) but we have had some deep conversations already, we were talking about relationships and I said "Well I think any guy would be pretty lucky to have you." And I didn't know if that would be too overboard to say or not, but she said "Thank you 😊" and even if I did pursue her, her mother is a psycho evil b**** so... Yeah.

Edited by TC1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, TC1 said:

even if I did pursue her, her mother is a psycho evil b**** so... Yeah.

Boom!

Run.

Away.

Fast!

Lol.

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well... our bond is growing stronger each day and I feel she really cares about me, if she does actually feel the way I feel, I think a discreet relationship could be fun and quite harmless, what do you guys on here think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Last night I said "I enjoy talking to you, you're so nice and cool." And she said "Thank you, you're pretty nice and sweet yourself 😂" I was ELATED when she said that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So that's pretty much been the extent of our talking, and if I were to take the next step, I want to know what that next step would be, I'm usually good with determining what to do in relationships, but this is different

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, eventually you will be 18 and she will only be 16 or 17? Soon enough you will be a man and she will be a child in the eyes of the law. A simple exchange of selfies could be a gigantic problem for you.

I am being real here, so wise up. You do not want to be on a sex registry the rest of your life. Put this relationship on hold until she is 18. End of story.

(Pooch [and all other mods], please keep this in mind with future advice to kids).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, KC said:

So, eventually you will be 18 and she will only be 16 or 17? Soon enough you will be a man and she will be a child in the eyes of the law. A simple exchange of selfies could be a gigantic problem for you.

I don't know where you're from, and not that I am planning to have an intimate relationship with her but, in the state I live in, underage intimate relationships are allowed for up to a 2 year age gap e.g. an 18-year-old and a 16-year-old can legally have an intimate relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, KC said:

So, eventually you will be 18 and she will only be 16 or 17? Soon enough you will be a man and she will be a child in the eyes of the law. A simple exchange of selfies could be a gigantic problem for you.

I am being real here, so wise up. You do not want to be on a sex registry the rest of your life. Put this relationship on hold until she is 18. End of story.

(Pooch [and all other mods], please keep this in mind with future advice to kids).

Understood.

For me though, it's up to him what he wants to do. Just because I led a horse to the river, doesn't mean that he will drink (wink wink) lol. But yeah, I see what you are saying. And it seems like TC1 knows what he is doing anyways but is just asking us for guidance. But yeah, I will still stay away from her if Im the guy but for other reasons. haha!

For example, he said,

On 5/31/2019 at 1:50 PM, TC1 said:

And I didn't know if that would be too overboard to say or not

Sounds to me like he still does not know what he wants. Like, does he REALLY want the girl or not? And if he does, what's his plan? Seems like he does not have a concrete plan as for now but is still figuring things out. And so in the meantime, an innocent selfie can spell out trouble. lol

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, pooch said:

Sounds to me like he still does not know what he wants.

I said the thing about not knowing if it was overboard because I don't know what she thinks of me, and I wouldn't want to creep her out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, TC1 said:

I said the thing about not knowing if it was overboard because I don't know what she thinks of me, and I wouldn't want to creep her out.

To some degree, all girls think that all guys are creeper anyways. lol. So it depends on how you do it. It can go both ways, you see. What you did, if it were me doing it, can be cool and not a creeper...and even if it sounds like a creeper, I will be like, "So what!? I don't care. lol

On 5/31/2019 at 1:50 PM, TC1 said:

"Well I think any guy would be pretty lucky to have you."

"Aww.. Thank you, you're pretty nice and sweet yourself"

If you have said, "Aaallllrrriight. That's enough. That's $5 per compliment 😂" Or something playful like that, that's gonna be waaay better than "not saying anything and being elated within". Know what I'm saying? lol

hahaha.. But all in all, you did a good job man. :)

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, TC1 said:

I don't know where you're from, and not that I am planning to have an intimate relationship with her but, in the state I live in, underage intimate relationships are allowed for up to a 2 year age gap e.g. an 18-year-old and a 16-year-old can legally have an intimate relationship.

Some states have a "Romeo and Juliet" law. I agree with it, but I am not about to start giving legal advice on criminal matters on this forum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, KC said:

Some states have a "Romeo and Juliet" law. I agree with it, but I am not about to start giving legal advice on criminal matters on this forum.

I'm just saying that what you said may not be a problem for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, pooch said:

Understood.

For me though, it's up to him what he wants to do. Just because I led a horse to the river, doesn't mean that he will drink (wink wink) lol. But yeah, I see what you are saying. And it seems like TC1 knows what he is doing anyways but is just asking us for guidance. But yeah, I will still stay away from her if Im the guy but for other reasons. haha!

For example, he said,

Sounds to me like he still does not know what he wants. Like, does he REALLY want the girl or not? And if he does, what's his plan? Seems like he does not have a concrete plan as for now but is still figuring things out. And so in the meantime, an innocent selfie can spell out trouble. lol

 

Pooch

I do not know what he wants but I know what he may get if he is mistaken about or runs afoul of the law. This forum will not be used to encourage criminal behavior. We must assume that there are no exceptions ( ie Romeo and Juliet law). The political climate in America is at a fever pitch and the DOJ and all of the other three letter agencies have been weaponized and controlled by crazy fringe groups with agendas for some time now.

The integrity of this website would be put into question. If your interaction exceeds that of PG13, then you should seek advice on the dark web with all of the other perverts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey pooch, she liked the part about the $5 compliments!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, TC1 said:

Hey pooch, she liked the part about the $5 compliments!

Hahahaha!! I told ya! 👍👍👍

Keep up the good work my brotha. 😅

 

😆 Pooch 😆

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you are wondering why I am so touchy about this issue is because my fiancé was five months shy of her 18th birthday. It's wasn't a big deal until some "concerned citizen" (ie pissed family member or whomever) made a phone call. Some creep came to my public workplace and told me he was investigating me because of a complaint they had received. Our state has since adopted a "Romeo and Juliet" law.

We got married a few weeks earlier than we had planned. The creep didn't scare me back then, but knowing what I know now -- I should have been very scared. Dealing with the age of consent goes beyond the scope of cc.com.

Ahh, right after we married, the creep came back to my workplace and said, "Hey I hear you just got married. Congratulations. Investigation is closed." It could have went very differently.

Moreover, I do not want the gestapo knocking my front door down sweeping military-style weapons in my face. I have no business with the feds and do not want a bulls-eye on my back. Although I am all about free speech, I just think some topics should be discussed on other websites, not here. If I give someone the wrong legal advice, I could be looking at three felonies myself and also get the OP a nice stretch up the river. In the USA, we honestly can't built prisons fast enough. They are also, more and more, ran by the private sector. Every fool in a jumpsuit has a cap rate on his or her head; their sufferings are being monetized. The more fools they pack in, the higher the nasdaq goes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It'swasn't a big deal until some "concerned citizen" (ie pissed family member or whomever) made a phone call. S

 

what the hell!??!! 😳😳 whoever that is, he needs to be hit with a baseball bat in the face. 🤬

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I confessed my feelings to her but she politely declined the possible relationship, stating the fact that it would be wrong because we were cousins and said she doesn't think of me in that way.

Edited by TC1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...