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My second cousin and I have been in a relationship for 6 months now. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had, he treats me with respect, love, care, everything a man is supposed to treat a woman. I told my mother right away about us and she was accepting. She treats him with respect. He told his grandparents and they adore us together. They see how much love we have for each other. 

It took us a while to tell my father...I told my little sister and I asked her to keep it s secret. I know I shouldn't have told her but she was the only one I knew who can keep it. I hate keeping secrets because I don't think it's fair to anyone. 

My little sisters helped my boyfriend and I tell my father. They gathered everyone in the household outside and that's when we confessed our love for each other to them. My father didn't react the way I thought he was going too he was calm, but I know he wanted to kill my boyfriend. It ended with him saying I can't hate you two because either way you guys are family. 

So we've been going around him to make him use to us being a couple....until last night my father finally told us about how he really feels. 

I know we had 6 months with each other while he has had only a week in a half to cope. The conversation he had with my boyfriend and I made me cry.  My father was putting my past relationships in my current one and saying how I am going to deal with this if anyone finds out. People are going to tell me how did I let this happen...hence I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 28 years old. We are adults. I told my dad if they have a problem maybe they should talk to me and stop thinking of me as a little girl.


I don't know what to tell him and I can't tell him how to feel either. Anyone have to deal with this? They act as if we don't know what we are doing when we researched so much before deciding to be together. 

Any thoughts of advice?

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  • Moderator

Welcome to cc.  It sounds as though you both have done your research and are on the right track.

As you said, your father has had only a short time to process this new relationship, where as the

two of you have had longer. Have you shared with him the research you have done on cousin

couples?  Or maybe have him visit this site and read the information on our pages.

Give him time and he will more than likely come around.

When my second cousin and I told my mother that we were getting married ( at the ages of 51 and 53) her

question was "don't you KIDS think your are rushing things?" So age doesn't influence our parents need to

protect us.

Best wishes on your journey.


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