Jump to content
angel222

My cousin wants to marry me !!

Recommended Posts

Last week, my cousin texted me by messenger and said: "there is something i have always thought about, what about we get married, take you time and answer me and if you don't agree let's pretend that i didn't tell you anyhing", i was shocked, in fact not really, because mom told me last year about something like this, that he has always wanted me since we were little, but i have always seen him like a big brother nothing more nothing less! he is 4 years older than me, and i have never seen any sign or something, we are not close too, we meet sometimes when i visit my aunt, that's all.

I answered him and apologize, said to him that i love him like a brother and that he is still young, that he will meet many girls in his life, he will surely meet the right one and marry her. but he insisted that i should think about it and don't rush. i feel terrible and i can't stop think about this matter, although i told him my last decision and let's pretend nothing happened and he said: "like you want i will not force you", he's texting me again...

i don't think he loves me at all, like i said he has never approched me... he said that he has always liked me but he was shy, and he will never find someone better than me and i will not find someone better than him, that the world is terrible and it's hard to meet someone you can trust and love, i tried to persuade him that he should not lose hope and he will definetely find the right one . i heard that he was in a relationship with a girl and they were even willing to be engaged, but she was a player. i think that he lost trust in every woman and thought about me because i'm nice and innocent ...

i don't know why i feel guilty about rejecting him, i think i hurted his feelings, and i don't want to ruin our relationship, we're gonna be very awkward when we meet next time.

i can't even give it a little chance because i don't love him, i can't imagine spending my life with him, share the same house ... it's terrifying, this is not a joke, it's about our future, about starting a family and if something bad happened, it will ruin our family because i really cherish my aunt.

what should i say to him? how can i make him stop talking about this  ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You did the right thing. Sounds like he is acting impulsively as a reaction to the end of his last relationship. Always better to wait long, than marry wrong. he will see this in time and forget about it eventually. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How old are the two of you??  He sounds really young or maybe immature.

All you can do is keep repeating that your aren't interested, don't waver or give in.

You don't need to feel guilty that you don't love him. If his feelings are hurt that is for him to

work through, not for you to feel guilty about. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, angel222 said:

i don't know why i feel guilty about rejecting him, i think i hurted his feelings, and i don't want to ruin our relationship, we're gonna be very awkward when we meet next time.

No no no.. Don't put this on you, Angel. Besides, I don't think you even rejected him. And if you did (from his POV), then it's on him. What you can do though is make sure you distance yourself around him. Sure, don't change anything and don't be awkward.. but at the same time, treat this thing as a "harmless crush"... Just care for him as a brother and that's it. Also, just a quick question, do you have a boyfriend? Coz if you do, then focus your attention to your boyfriend and not to your cousin.... Your cousin can deal with his crap by himself. Yes he is shy and has baggages and all but that's fine.. From his POV, it's better for him to tell you his feelings anyways rather than bottle it up and regret it. So I guess that's cool. :)

 

Pooch

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pooch,

I really rejected him, and after a long conversation he gave up and agreed to pretend that nothing happened and i was relieved.

But now he's bringing it again...

and i don't have a boyfriend and he knows this.

Edited by angel222

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see...

10 hours ago, angel222 said:

But now he's bringing it again...

Then its time for a stronger dosage. A harder "No stop it" that will repel him must be done. Otherwise he just wont stop because he couldn't stop. If we like a girl so much, I believe, we need those stronger dosage of rejection --- you know?

Make it along the lines of "Hey, what the f---. I am sorry. Please stop. I already said "No" and that's my decision. Stop talking to me".

A firm response like that will not drive him away though. But it will make him stop and will be repelled because you are stern this time. He will be afraid of losing you if he continues making advances; hence it will die down. Dont be afraid of losing your cousin though (in the sense of his presence)....coz you wont. But it will make the job done (him stopping these advances).

 

Pooch

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

personally, i think his behavior sounds kinda stalker-ish. if it's all just by text and social media, then i don't know what can be done. but if he bothers you in person or at your home or workplace, you might consider filing a restraining order.

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...