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anongirl6843

crushing since childhood, cant stop

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Hello,

Truthfully I can’t believe I have made an account...or am even making a post. Maybe cause it’s almost 4 am? Or maybe cause I’m finally tired of bottling it up. This may be long, just a warning. 

I’ve had a crush on my cousin since the day I came into this world, believe it or not. The majority of pictures from my childhood are by his side. It actually became a joke between the adults in the family that the two of us were “in love”. And a part of me believes that’s true. But maybe I’m crazy. 

The problem was that we live in different countries and although I used to visit every summer, the older I got, the less my parents took me to visit. Granted, that’s only due to the increase of risk in traveling to that country. The less frequently I visited, the harder it was for him and I to pick up where we left off on our friendship.

Currently he’s 23 and I recently turned 18. I know I’m young, so people automatically take what I say as a joke. But every time we wind up in each others presences, theres some sort of tension- like when in movies there’s a separated couple that still have feelings for each-other. As strange as it may seem, my grandmother supports this and wants my cousin and I to be together, as she tells my mother. My parents, however, either get very angry or exaggeratedly laugh at the sound of it. 

Him and I remain social media friends, and I don’t want to ruin anything in the family- but I can’t help but feel like a part of me will always be wanting to know if he really did and still does feel the same. Or if there’s a chance we could be together. I constantly find myself unconsciously comparing all my “boyfriends” and flings to him, as if I know no one will ever be enough. I just can’t imagine how I would tell him. 

if you actually took the time to read this- thank you. If you have any advice- thanks in advance. 

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Distant relationships are not easy, especially for new ones. You need to weigh lots of pros and cons to even consider going down that road.

You are never going to know how he feels unless you bring it up.  You can do it in a lighthearted manner so that you have an escape route if the conversation goes awry. 

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The only thing that really matters in a relationship are You and Him. It sounds like you have some support from some family. So it wouldn't be as devistating as it could be. The family members will get over it, they may be shocked at first and maybe feel strange about it for awhile, but the love between cousins is unmatchable. I think you should find a way to tell him. Worse case scenario, he feels a little weird about it, but he will still love you unconditionally. Letting it bottle up inside you is guranteed to have a worse outcome. You will regret it if you don't try. 

Of course, best case scenario would be the Utopia of limitless love between you. Start by easing into his mind, get him to open up and get as comfortable as possible with talking about his love life. Maybe bring up how you feel happiest when you visit him. Try to make plans to visit again. These things are definitely better in person to avoid miscommunication and he can feel your sincerity. Plus staring into each other's eyes will establish the soul to soul intamacy. 

As far as telling him, I'm in the same situation, so I only have ideas. You can always try the "if only you weren't my cousin" card, but it is likely to be brushed off. If you are genuinely invested in these feelings, I'd recommend something he cant misinterpret. You might have to be straight to the point, or as Serendipity said the light-hearted version for an escape route.

 

That's just my opinion. 

Edited by RedKirin

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