Jump to content
<?php echo esc_attr( get_bloginfo( 'name' ) ); ?>
The #1 Writing Tool
  • 0
Toy

How is your Life

Question

I've never cared what others think. I've always lived my life as I wanted. But lately some comments bother me. I don't know why. 

Where I'm from lawmakers really don't care about marriage. The law says parent-offspring and siblings can't marry. I'm married to my mother's first cousin (her mother and my mother's mother were siblings). The wedding was a nice small one. Few of our relatives and fewer friends were invited guests. Next October will be our first anniversary. But since our wedding relationship with our relatives have become, lets just say, lighter. We don't care. We have ourselves. 

My mother has married her uncle's son. It was my mother's third marriage and so is his. Among relatives people make jokes. Since childhood I've thick skin. I don't care. 

Lately, a lot of things are bothering me. My mother's husband has children from previous marriages. They don't like us. I mean they don't talk to me or my mother. They were fine but now they have grown up and found something about us to hate. We are no longer invited to any of the family events. Only my mother's husband gets the invitation.

My wife has a three years old daughter from her previous marriage. A bundle of joy. Sometime I wonder what would she think when she would start to understand things... Last week she had fever. I took her to our family doctor. The doctor is a friend of mine. She was in our wedding. During our conversation, she said "people in marriages like yours should be very careful...." Then she paused and said, "I forgot, she is not your daughter...". 

Yesterday, one of my uncles' wife (my mother's brother's wife) came to visit. My uncles don't talk to us (reason is property inheritance issue). She is a nice person. A bit jolly. Before leaving she told me that she was surprised that I and my wife were still together. It pinched me inside. I wanted to say something. But I just smiled and told her we were happy to be together.    

Small things, here and there, are disturbing me. I've talked to my mother. She told me to focus on what we have, all the good things, good moments. 

I'm curious people who are in relationships with cousins.... how are you guys doing? I am assuming most of you are in happy happy joy joy state?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5 answers to this question

Recommended Posts

  • 0

Read information on this website about how to deal with relatives about your cousin-marriage, and see if that helps.  There are items posted at the top of some of the forums that you might find useful, as well as other places on the website.

Good luck. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 0

mark and i are first cousins once removed. we will be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary on new year's day. yes, we're still happy... it's kinda like fine wine i guess, the more we age, the better we get :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 0

Hubby and I, second cousins, are very happy. Married over15 years, retired for over 4,

and having a great time traveling wherever we want in our RV!  Life is good!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 0
On 9/1/2019 at 11:27 AM, Ambra_Flows said:

Read information on this website about how to deal with relatives about your cousin-marriage, and see if that helps.  There are items posted at the top of some of the forums that you might find useful, as well as other places on the website.

Good luck. 

Thank you for your reply. I know there are some resources here which can be helpful. But I want human touch. :) I want human response. I know people out there like me. I wanted their thoughts.  

 

On 9/7/2019 at 5:19 AM, LadyC said:

mark and i are first cousins once removed. we will be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary on new year's day. yes, we're still happy... it's kinda like fine wine i guess, the more we age, the better we get :)

 

Thank you for your reply. 21st ! Congratulation in advance. I guess nothing bothers you anymore. I think I, too, will be able to ignore narrow minded people. But now sometime small words or acts kinda bite here and there. 

So you have kids from previous marriage/relationship ? If yes, how do they react? Most probably positively. My wife has a little girl. There is a very good chance that in her teen years she'll face tougher time. You know kids can be mean to each other. I had bullies in schools but I was able to stand up for myself. I was physically stronger than the most other kids in schools. Let's see what happens. 

 

14 hours ago, Romalee said:

Hubby and I, second cousins, are very happy. Married over15 years, retired for over 4,

and having a great time traveling wherever we want in our RV!  Life is good!

 

Thank you for your reply. Over 15 years ... Lots of good moments ! :)  "... traveling wherever we want in our RV! ..." That's our dream. We want to leave everything behind and go see places, taste different cuisines, meet people from completely different ways of life. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 0

i have 2 daughters from a previous marriage. they were 11 and 12 when mark and i married, and they were pretty good with it. we went way, way public with our relationship.... not long after we got married we went on a talk show... the first of many media appearances discussing the topic. my girls kinda became little celebrities in our tiny town as a result. they got a little ribbing, but also discovered that a couple of their friends (who were siblings) were the biological children of cousins.... and that my oldest daughter's best friend at the time, whose father performed our wedding, was the granddaughter of first cousins. so really it was not a big negative in their lives. bullies move on when they don't get the desired reaction from their targets, and my girls didn't give the expected reaction.

now, however, we tend to stay lower key. we're no longer out to change the world, and the girls (who are now in their 30s with kids of their own) are glad not to have to explain the facts of life to their peers. mark and i tell very few people these days, although every pastor of every church we've belonged to has been aware, and we always share the info with any friends we become close to. but no more media coverage, and we don't advertise it on social media either.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...