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Things are very different now


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Things are very different now that I am alone. When you are with somebody for over 20 years, you tend to think you always will be. 

I am rolling with the punches. Getting the divorce papers ready (yep it's that time). I can't wait to get these served. I want this marriage to be over so bad. My wife was a talker, so it has taken some getting used to -- the quietness! I like people who can dominate a conversation because it distracts me from myself and my own thoughts. It give me a break in other words -- from a racing mind, worries and whatever else is going on upstairs. Only God knows for sure. :D

After a year, I am just now beginning to feel the L word. Loneliness. It's a weird thing for a middle-aged man to experiences this for the first time in his life. It's not so bad. I am not going to cry about it like I am in a lonely hearts' group. It's a good trade to get rid of that hateful witch that I was married to.

So I guess that sums it up pretty good. My life is in limbo and it is kinda miserable. 

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I am sorry to hear about your divorce, KC. If your cousin/wife has been a large source of negativity on your life, then it's a good thing that you are separating yourself from her.

Surround yourself with good people that can help you become better and stronger! Also, seeing that you are a fellow, Christian, seek God as well! Ask Him in what direction He wants you to take.

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15 hours ago, clumsilycopious256 said:

I am sorry to hear about your divorce, KC. If your cousin/wife has been a large source of negativity on your life, then it's a good thing that you are separating yourself from her.

Surround yourself with good people that can help you become better and stronger! Also, seeing that you are a fellow, Christian, seek God as well! Ask Him in what direction He wants you to take.

[Sorry I've had little sleep in 24 hours or so. Working! Deliriou5]

It's really been a dark place spiritually. I've heard of other pastors talk about going into very bad places where it seems that God can't be found. I scoffed at the idea. Some have even turned to atheism! That's not my style, but yeah, it's been that black at times. God doesn't seem to be a source of anything at the moment. I could care less if the Earth careened into the Sun. 

I'm bitter bitter is how I feel. But don't feel sorry for me. Every good man is tested like this. I think I am doing well enough and also I do not scoff so much anymore.

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