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KC

Things are very different now

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Things are very different now that I am alone. When you are with somebody for over 20 years, you tend to think you always will be. 

I am rolling with the punches. Getting the divorce papers ready (yep it's that time). I can't wait to get these served. I want this marriage to be over so bad. My wife was a talker, so it has taken some getting used to -- the quietness! I like people who can dominate a conversation because it distracts me from myself and my own thoughts. It give me a break in other words -- from a racing mind, worries and whatever else is going on upstairs. Only God knows for sure. :D

After a year, I am just now beginning to feel the L word. Loneliness. It's a weird thing for a middle-aged man to experiences this for the first time in his life. It's not so bad. I am not going to cry about it like I am in a lonely hearts' group. It's a good trade to get rid of that hateful witch that I was married to.

So I guess that sums it up pretty good. My life is in limbo and it is kinda miserable. 

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I am sorry to hear about your divorce, KC. If your cousin/wife has been a large source of negativity on your life, then it's a good thing that you are separating yourself from her.

Surround yourself with good people that can help you become better and stronger! Also, seeing that you are a fellow, Christian, seek God as well! Ask Him in what direction He wants you to take.

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15 hours ago, clumsilycopious256 said:

I am sorry to hear about your divorce, KC. If your cousin/wife has been a large source of negativity on your life, then it's a good thing that you are separating yourself from her.

Surround yourself with good people that can help you become better and stronger! Also, seeing that you are a fellow, Christian, seek God as well! Ask Him in what direction He wants you to take.

[Sorry I've had little sleep in 24 hours or so. Working! Deliriou5]

It's really been a dark place spiritually. I've heard of other pastors talk about going into very bad places where it seems that God can't be found. I scoffed at the idea. Some have even turned to atheism! That's not my style, but yeah, it's been that black at times. God doesn't seem to be a source of anything at the moment. I could care less if the Earth careened into the Sun. 

I'm bitter bitter is how I feel. But don't feel sorry for me. Every good man is tested like this. I think I am doing well enough and also I do not scoff so much anymore.

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It reminds me of the chapter of Job. God had the devil take everything from Job, but Job stayed faithful to God, and ultimately, was rewarded by God.

God sometimes sends us challenges to, not only test us, but also strengthen us. Think of some of the challenges we face as a workout to beef up our muscles ?

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