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I've been in a relationship with my second cousin for a year now. We live in a state where we can also marry as well. 

We bought a house, and even got a puppy together. He makes me so happy and is the love of my life. My parents know about us and it took my father a while but he's coming along.

 

I recently was pregnant but under certain circumstances I had a miscarriage. In the future should we go to a genetic counselor before trying again? Should we tell my obgyn? 

Has anyone else had children with being related? 

Please, I would really love anyone's feedback. 

Thank you.

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On 11/4/2019 at 5:07 PM, Scorpiomoon04 said:

I've been in a relationship with my second cousin for a year now. We live in a state where we can also marry as well. 

We bought a house, and even got a puppy together. He makes me so happy and is the love of my life. My parents know about us and it took my father a while but he's coming along.

 

I recently was pregnant but under certain circumstances I had a miscarriage. In the future should we go to a genetic counselor before trying again? Should we tell my obgyn? 

Has anyone else had children with being related? 

Please, I would really love anyone's feedback. 

Thank you.

According to Forbidden Relatives (in our store), miscarriages among cousins were lower then the general population. They assume it's because the parent't blood chemistry is more similar. Not too little or to much. 

Here is what I would do. Forget the doctors. Go see someone from the National Society of Genetic Counselors. They will look a little bit into your background and order the appropriate genetic tests. 

If I had the money I would do that. In the end they can only give you a percentage. What threshold would change your mind about having kids? What about a 10 percent chance of having a baby with a birth defect. Would that change your mind? Some people (not cousins) may have a 50/50 chance. Now that is gut-wrenching agony.

So maybe it's a waste of resources to see a counselor of genetics. It's like I told my doctor once that I was going to buy a blood pressure monitor. He asked why, "If your pressure is high, there isn't anything you can do about it." He saw everything bass-askwards, but there is some wisdom in that. 

Maybe you should stop looking for cause and effect and just try again. 

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I want to express my sympathy on the loss of your baby - such a terrible grief.  Hopefully, you will be able to have another one safely and soon.

HUGS

Nat

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