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Peaches

How do you deal with judgement?

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Hello,

I posted a reply to my topic under a different name but finally figured out how to get into this account.
 

Anyways, I posted here in 2018. I was very unhappily married and fell in love with my cousin. Long story short, after trying to cut him off and work on my marriage, I ended up getting divorced. We are now in a committed relationship but long distance. We only see each other every 2-3 weeks but talk all day every day and are committed to making it work until we close the distance.

Our relationship was exposed by my ex. Neither one of us have much family. Parents are dead and I am an only child. One of our cousins was disgusted and turned her back on us.  His siblings and children (adult and teenagers) are all supportive of us. At least to our faces.

My teenage son is disgusted and thinks I am “weird”. Will not listen to my reason and is dead set that I am wrong. He has threatened to cut me off if I don’t cut my cousin off. 
 

He is the absolute love of my life. I know in a million years Ill never find anyone that lives me the way he does. I feel like Im a pretty educated smart person and not a backwoods hillbilly as the stereotype goes. 
 

How do you deal with the judgement?. I know in my heart I love him too much to walk away. Am I throwing my life away?

 

Edited by Peaches

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Don't be afraid about your teenage son. He doesn't understand much because he is still immature. 

Sons usually love their Moms so much that they don't care even if they turn for prostitution. At least i don't.

Wait few more years until your son is mature enough, and when he is ready to leave home, you can settle down with your cousin. 

I am new to this forum because I am also newly fallen in love with my second cousin, I'm male, 24, she is 20 girl. I haven't shared my feelings to her yet. Anyway,

I wish you all the best. 

Lord give me strength to break the ice.

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Hey Peaches,

 

I'm a casting producer working a documentary about cousins in relationships. My goal is to share stories of people like you and help break the stigma and inspire people to love who they love. I've already used my 1 send private message for the day but I'd love for you to reach out to me when you get this!

Best,

Trevor

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Trevor,

 I'm only going to tell you this once. Leave this site, do not contact our members, and never return here. No member here has ever had any sort of a good experience in the last 10 years, and they will not have a good experience with you. You will exploit them. You will never present the facts on religion, genetics, or legalities factually.

 I have encouraged members to NOT get involved with the likes of you in the past. Some of them have. To a couple, they have ALL been exploited in sensationalized BS programs making them out to be some sort of stereotypical hicks. You may claim your intent to do otherwise, but your corporate ratings managers will overrule what little, if any, good intention you may have. I will be sending a PM to Peaches myself to discourage her as vehemently as I can from any interaction with you. If you persist, I will smack you with the banhammer. My other mods may chastise me over this harsh public rebuke, and that is fine, as I really don't care. You will see my tag as being the resident junkyard dog. I will bite, and take my lumps later from Boss if I have to. I have promised myself that I will never allow our members to be used in such fashion EVER again. And I mean it.
 

 I don't want to hear 'Oh this will be different. We want to break the stigma, blah, blah, Bullsh*t" I can link you to damn near verbatim posts such as yours, in which members have bought the line, and been abused. Everyone from Tyra to Dr. Phil have done it. And yet "You're different". BS. Not going to happen. Sorry if I, (and dare I say WE) don't believe you. Stossel was the last unbiased look at the topic, and that's been a while. You are not Stossel. He knows who and how to contact this place. 

 Again, leave this site, and do not come back. Our members will not be fodder for your ratings. Forget it. Go to Reddit. I have no privileges there, and they would fit your bill better than our good members here. 

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I got a PM from Trevor but I ignored it. If I don't want to tell the family about my relationship, why the hell would I tell a documentary producer? So he can blast it on national TV and make me out to be an illiterate hick? 

I've seen what the media does to cousin couples and I want no part of it 

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Fair enough Reach,

 The junkyard dog is going to bite. I warned him, put him on moderation for 30 days, and he somehow did it again in another thread.

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Who is Stossel? I really struggled after the Dr.Phil episode and the comments made towards them. So much ignorance on the subject of cousin couples

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Hey Hawk,

I'm sorry you feel that way. I understand that probably no amount of assurance about our intent will change your mind. Our intent isn't to paint with a negative brush. We are using the Dr. Phil episode as an example of what we don't want to do and personally felt really hurt by the way that show treated its guests.

Have a great day!

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Trevor,

 I only approved this post so I can reply to it openly.

 You are absolutely correct that no amount of assurance about your intent will change my mind. Don't blame me for not believing you, don't even blame you. Blame your industry who have been consistently dishonest for decades. And, from everything I see at the moment, is only getting worse. 

 Here's what REALLY has my dander up, and why you are getting bit by me. You come in here, you do NOT read (or if you do, you ignore) the ToS, and the part therein about media. You just jump right in and start soliciting. THAT ALONE comes VERY close to the banhammer out of me. And I can. And I will. I've seen me do it for much less. 

 So, here's the bottom line Trevor. You WILL read and abide by the ToS. Before any more of your posts will be approved, you will have permission from either KC or LadyC. You can find them at the top under the "Browse Forum" tab. You will also notice while you are there, the ToS. You will find this at the top, before you even get to the standard ToS for posting.
"MEMBERS OF THE MEDIA: if you want to interview people for a radio, TV, or magazine or newspaper article, please contact a member of the administration via private message. Provide us with the pertinent information, and preferably a link to some of your previous works, or to a previous broadcast. If we determine that your show might be more beneficial than harmful, we will respond and let you know. If you post a request without our approval, it will be removed. "
You will also note I didn't just remove your post. I don't necessarily like making people into my whipping boys, but I get very close with media. This statement is in there for a reason, and it isn't Dr. Phil. He's just the latest culprit. 

 As I said, your future activity here will hinge on you having a conversation with either KC (owner) or LadyC (admin.). I will also tell you that you may be a while getting a full hearing from either. You may have tried and they just haven't got back with you. I can't help that. Boss has a full plate with the passing of one of our other mods, and LadyC has became more busy IRL and is not as active as she once was. It may take a while. I don't have either of their phone numbers, though I can get in touch, and will most likely be sending word to expect to hear from you. If you check out, they will approve your posts, and, as a rule, in their own thread, say they have vetted you, you check out, your contact info, but with our still standard "buyer beware" disclaimer. At that time, you can fully well expect me to discourage members from participating. It is my view from out here in the cheap seats, and it doesn't really seem to have stopped them yet, but when they came back in here whining, I had my vindication. Not that it made me feel any better being right. Quite the opposite actually.

 I will also tell you that you may be a little late. Activity here, at least new memberships have fallen off since we've had to start charging a nominal fee for membership. Hosting and software isn't free at this level of desired privacy. If they vet you, they will post your contact information, and I'm assuming, allow you to post replies and send PM's without further consequence. You will not be able to start a topic without paying the membership and joining however.

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Dr.Phil had an episode years ago where a couple were 2nd cousins. He told the sister then it wasnt a big deal. He must have got some back lash for it because he blindsided and bashed the newest couple,  calling them child abusers! I trusted Dr.Phil to give good advice and he chose to appease for ratings. It was torally ine sided. I would NEVER trust the media or a tv show. I hope your show doesnt air tbh because im so sick of the rude remarks from uneducated people and im sure that would make it even worse. You probably would pick worst case and have them on your show. If you truly want to make a difference in our type of relationship, find a way to make it normal and use recent scientific proof of why its not such a big deal. I for one dont believe you and dont trust media or TV ppl any longer. You can thank Dr.Phil for that.

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Its almost as if you all tell your ppl to be really nice to them. Make them comfortable and think we have their backs. Then you flip the script when theyre in front of the cameras and theres nothing they can do.

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OpenUmbrella,

 I've not watched TV for 7 or 8 years now, to any extent. I don't have one hooked up to antenna or cable/dish, only a DVD player, and I've not had that on in months. I've been away from here for the better part of 4 years now, so, I had no idea this Dr. Phil thing was in the works. I think a couple from here may have ended up on it, but I'm not sure. As I say, I've only heard it was a farce, and that certainly does not surprise me in the least.

 I suppose the worst incidence was the Tyra Banks episode. True bait and switch. We had a couple go on there, and they were pummeled. I knew what Tyra was up to. They saw an opportunity to educate. THAT didn't happen. I did my best to discourage them. I all but begged them. They went on anyhow. They came back quite disheartened and shocked. I was heartbroken for them, but NOT surprised, more less shocked. I vowed after that that I would be as forceful as my presence around here would allow, (which was considerable at the time) and do everything in my power to NOT have it happen again. Once I became a mod, I carried a little more weight, but tried to not push it around, other than being very vocal about trying to prevent it from happening again. For the most part, until this Dr. Phil thing, it hasn't.

 I am being very harsh with Trevor. It ISN'T anything personal. At the same time, if you are trying to convince us you are legit, you had damn well better start by playing by OUR rules when you come here. The ToS is pretty clear, but, I will assure you, I WILL lobby for further clarification of it to cover (I'm assuming Lifetime or similar?) scouts.

 On that topic: There HAVE been a few selected instances where couples from here WERE given a reasonably fair shake. I never interacted with the girl, because by the time I got here, RL had set in, and her and her cousin were not as active as, she especially, had been. I don't even recall her username. LadyC, KC, and RomaLee would though, I'm sure. At any rate, she was young. Just out of college by the time the show aired. It was on Lifetime, not really a "reality" thing, just a series of segments of unusual love affairs. It was tastefully done, and informative. No studio, Springer audience, or "gotcha's". Their tale told honestly, IIRC filmed walking in a park of some sort, then genetic, religious, and historic facts presented accurately.

 Another was LadyC's experience with John Stossel on his show. It use to be posted, but, I think it was removed from Youtube and the link is dead now, but, you may want to look in the "TV/Movie" section. At any rate, again, tastefully done, and informative. I wouldn't really expect any less out of Stossel. He didn't disappoint, and, I know LadyC has mentioned more than once it was a good experience.

 We also had a couple maybe 6 years ago or so, maybe a little longer, who did a reality series on Discovery or A&E if memory serves. I was skeptical. I wasn't TOTALLY wrong, but, overall I suppose it wasn't as bad as some of the others. They did have some family drama that the series played up, and I am pretty sure the show didn't really help that part out. That's why I was so irritated with Trevor going to Peaches, when her teenage son is obviously having trouble wrapping his head around it. Anyhow, back to the hero's of our saga here. If she was still around, I would readily welcome her perspective. But, sadly, so far as I know, she is gone for good. Either during filming, or very shortly thereafter, her cousin, love of her life, was killed on his Harley. We wished her our deepest heartfelt condolences, and she bid us all adieu. I can't recall her user name either, but I'm sure Roma and LadyC could tell you.  A sad enough tale, but perhaps she has footage saved she can look back on with a melancholy smile these days. So, perhaps an overall positive experience long term.

 IF I knew Trevor really WAS up to something more cerebral such as that, and IF this would not further strain Peaches already strained relationship with her son, and that it WOULD be at least a 51% positive experience, I would still recommend treading lightly, but, dip your toes in if you dare. But, always remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.... These others promised an honest, factual, "taboo-breaker", and ratings (no pun to Maury intended) said "That was a lie." 🙄

 Here's the clip with Stossel actually. It is still working...

 

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Hawk, I do remember the lady whose hubby/cuz was killed. In fact when we are in her area I meet her for lunch at least once.

I was fortunate to have met her hubby. He was a really nice person. And funny.

She has remarried in the last year and seems to be very happy. I don't however remember her screen name for this site.

The other person you mentioned I don't remember.

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Roma,

 I think the one killed on the bike was Dale, and I saw her profile the other night after I posted this, and got curious. Now, I can't remember it again...LOL Sux getting old.

 I want to think the other young girl that was gone by the time I got here could possibly be the one from the other couple in that video, but something in my memory isn't clicking it fully. I do know her/their family reaction was similar. I just want to think for some reason the girl I'm thinking of was either in school to be a teacher, or had just became a teacher. I think she may have actually came here and posted a "Hi All" once or twice after I was here, but I didn't get in on it. I'm pretty sure the one I'm thinking of was on a lifetime profile of some sort. There may be a link in the TV/Videos section. I've just not went all the way back, and a lot of posts have been lost to updates. I know all of my original posts are gone.

 

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