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Getting in deeper and gonna get hurt

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I like my cousin a lot he is my first cousin and I consider us best friends. We have always been close but i actually feel like we would be a good couple. I got catfished by a guy online I was talking to for a year  and found out yesterday . I told him about it cuz i had no one else and he talked to me for like 6 hours over text about it . Shared some deeply personal stories about his heartaches and hookups that ended badly . I dont think He has ever told anyone those and he wasnt going to tell me but then he did he opened up to me for pretty much the first time. He told me 3 personal embarrassing stories . I figured he had relationships but he never talked about them. we shared secrets and it was really nice. Heres the problem i think he also might feel a  attraction too but he would never act on it . I am getting more close to him and it cant go anywhere just like the other online relationship. I am in limbo and the last stop is heartbreak guys . I mean i know i mean a lot to him but I dont know if that could ever be in the romantic way.heres an example :It was valentines day but that dont mean anything as e were going to a movie premiere(he asked me ) that just happened to be that day. (he said he didnt even know it was V day ) We  decided not to and i asked if he still just wanted to hang out so we were just driving around listening to music and were both single and being sarcastic i said " who has a significant other anyways what a loser " just joking around and he said "hey youre my significant other you are significant to me shannon . I just thought  thats a weird thing to say a significant other is a couple in a relationship right ? does he wish we were together ? He has done other things to such as fake mocking me and saying "oh look at me im shannon im so pretty and everyone loves me ". We also talked about moving into together when he makes enough money to buy a house . It feels like were already together but no one wants to be the first to just say it.  Am i crazy or does he like me back ? We joked about it one time actually i was asking if there was anyone single at his work and he said there is but he is kind of a player and a jerk .He then went on to say other than that there is me (meaning him )  and that might be a little bit awkward  we laughed and i said hey i would already  have met your parents and we just laughed about it but he didnt seem grossed out by the idea . He is technically my half cousin because our moms have different dads if that makes a diference lol. I told my mom about the things he says because i tell her everything and she agrees its weird . I liked him in a non friendly way since i was like 17 . I am 24 he is 25 and we still hangout and have this special connection we always got along and he is my best friend honestly and i think we would be great together.I just dont know if we ever can actually be together. I dont know guys its proabably all in my head and im ust romantasizing a friedship because i want it to be real. 

Edited by gossamer4448

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