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ineedlove

i need help i made the situation complicated well very very complicated..

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first i want to know should i tell everything what happened in last 5 months including all the conversations, it could be very very big post

OR

the situation without conversations..

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Just the situation without the conversations. please.  It would be easier to give advice.

Nat

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First, i am a male 19 years old, a 12 passout preparing for entrance exams this year and shy to girls.

From last 7 months i started liking a girl, actually i knew her from her childhood as she is my first cousin(my mother's brother's daughter). She is

18 and have 3 brothers and she is youngest among them, her oldest brother got married just 7 months ago and i really did a hard work on his wedding

helping his other 2 brothers.

At first i started escaping the truth that i like her but now i know i loves her..

Its been a 4 months when messaging started between us, at that time i know it by my heart that this is not the right time for me to say about my liking for her, coz she was hurt and she needs time to heal.

Couple of week extreme messaging was among us and once one of her brother (2nd oldest) blew up on her because she was all day busy on the cell, but it didn't stopped her.

During a conversation i told her about that girl i liked in past i told her truth, i said "i took my steps back when i get to know that she was with someone else", she asked me her name, i just told her the truth. After few mins i dont know what came to my mind i really cant resist to say everything to her, so i conveyed my feelings in most ungenuine way (feeling embarrassing at that time, even the time was not correct I just told her about a girl and then I told her I like her), she just asked me tell me the truth if its a joke it will hurt , I said I am serious and she said I like you 2.

Next day she messaged me "dont do many msgs coz its not my personal cell (it was a cell that always remains home), or brother will feel something wrong and dis time im nt ready 2 any relation with any body nd whats our 'age' now nothing, we have future ahead ,nd

ill only say this

focus on ur studies and me also.

Sorry if i hurt u..

thats it by my side"

She also told me she knew a guy from past 2 years and she loves him but that guy loves someone else,

now i knew her root cause of unhappiness.. I said to her u should have told me this yesterday..But she didnt replied

in the night i fought with her over messages that was most immature thing that a person can do, but it has happened.

I really did a cowardly mistake whome was i showing anger. The whole night i cant sleep.

In the morning at around 4 am i realised that i need to apologize.

I wrote how much good i felt when u said u like me too described every moment, told her that how much bad i felt when u said thats it from my side , how much bad i felt when i showed anger to u last night, told her that tried to give pain to my self but nothing happened.

In the noon she called me she said the msg i sent to her was read by her oldest brother and his wife, i was shocked, my mind just got paralysed i didnt said a word just listining to her she was crying she said i cant even rise my eyes to my brother and his wife what would they be thinking about me, she said that they both had some words with me they said we both trust you we will not be telling this to anyone her brother said he knew me he is a good guy but we will see all this in future , she also said to me she is ready for everthing but in future she at last said be happy , good bye and dissconnected the phone.

Now cutting everything short, after 2 months(between these 2 months no messages from her, and no contact with her) on eid i visited her house with

my family, we both secretly had conversation what all happened and i also apologised i made her cry and then asked her  ?iam not so mean that i will

make space in someone?s heart forcefully?, i asked ?am i doing so? she said ?no no no shaking her head her head and smiling? she at last said

"forget everything what i said to you and what you said to me , move on" at that time i annoyed her by asking "i can wait for you in future", she

was too anoyed that she didn't talked me that day, the whole day i was feeling embarrassed at their house.

After 12 days i visited her house once again but this time we stayed there for 4 days , first 2 days were compltely awful i was feeling so embarrassed in front of her oldest brother and his wife that i got high fever, so at the end of second day i gathered all my strength and got to her eldest brother's wife i apologised her "she said its ok come to our house you did it before", at that time she was also there she asked permission from her SIL(sister in law) to talk to me for 5 mins, the important thing she said to me at that time was she said "i need time", so respecting her wishes i said "take your time", at that time she was too amazed that she got something priceless from me.

Again after a week i visited her house nothing special happened except she asked me i need your school photographs(she saw them on my cell while it was charging), i asked her two times why she needs them she just replied "just like that".

After a week she messaged me,(it was completely after 3 months she messaged me (up till today this was the only message i received from her ))

?Plz reply

2most beautiful things in your life

1

2

2people you love the most

1

2

2people you dont want to lose

1

2

2moments you are waiting for

1

2?

So i replied

?2most beautiful things in my life

1Parents

2You

2people i love the most

1Parents

2You

2people i dont want to lose

1Parents

2You

2moments iam waiting for

1Your success

2My success

gud nt tk care?

then she didnt replied any thing.

She knows iam definately going to reply her message, because before 3 months back i used to reply to her such messages

but now i thinks i replyed her very seriously?. Is it so??

What she wants to know me through this message??

Whats going on her mind??

Was my reply correct??

Can she be thinking my feelings after 3 months are not as strong as they were before??

What feelings she have for me?

Does she love me?

Is she scared of her family?

I dont want to annoy her i dont want to turn her off again, i dont want myself to be seen as too desperate and needy right now, what do i do ?

What can you say about her feelings towards me after reading this?

Iam just thinking too much cant concentrate on my studies only thoughts of her occupies my mind.

You can say iam obsessed you might be right but i have made a decision i have to try for her or else i will stay alone forever because all feelings

i have is for her, you can also say as my heart switched to this girl from that school girl and my heart will again switch but i will not allow my

self to do this.

Iam also doing some messages 1 or 2 in a week some good quotes on life should i stop doing them?

Iam loosing my mind loosing my sleep dont know what to do.

Its just 2.5 months left for entrance exams , i am trying hard not to think, makes promises everyday to myself but gets drowned into my feelings.

I will be going to her house after two days.

All my inner peace is taken away by thousand of questions, i want to talk to her want to say "i have hurt you, even made you cry but i never meant

to. what all love i have is only for you , the feelings i have for you will remain for rest of my life they will die when i will die"( i got chance

many times to say this but you know iam shy to girls and a bad speaker ), i want to know how much time she needs , but the problem is i dont have

any way to contact her she have no privacy no social accounts or even a personal phone.

I dont want to annoy her i dont want to turn her off again, i dont want myself to be seen as too desperate and needy right now, what do i do ?

What can you say about her feelings towards me after reading this?

Iam just thinking too much cant concentrate on my studies only thoughts of her occupies my mind.

You can say iam obsessed you might be right but i have made a decision i have to try for her or else i will stay alone forever because all feelings

i have is for her, you can also say as my heart switched to this girl from that school girl and my heart will again switch but i will not allow my

self to do this.

Iam also doing some messages 1 or 2 in a week some good quotes on life should i stop doing them?

Iam loosing my mind loosing my sleep dont know what to do.

Its just 2.5 months left for entrance exams , i am trying hard not to think, makes promises everyday to myself but gets drowned into my feelings.

I will be going to her house after two days.

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Dude, not saying no ones gonna reply, but u need to talk more straight to the point so its easier for people who want to help. Also, read over wat u wrote to make sure it makes sense. For now, just wait for her reply and let us know wat happens. Keep it short and sweet

Good Luck

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