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Guest rubbernsoul

I'm in love with my cousin & I think he is too but he denies it

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I'm in love with my first cousin.  I have no idea how it happened.  I mean, I've never had feelings for a family member.  I used to make fun of the cousins that did.  And now, here I am.  It happened out of the blue.  I wasn't looking for anyone.  I was married.  It was a bad marriage but I was completely faithful.  We had a family function and I saw him for the first time in over 20 years.  I'm 30 and he is 26.  He initiated.  He looked me up and down and stared at me.  We locked eyes twice and it was intense.  He smiled at me and I just stared.  I couldn't believe what was happening.  He tried talking to me but I'm so awkward, I took off.  I was scared.  Then he went away to the other side of the country.  I thought I'd never see him again and was heartbroken.  In the meantime, my husband and I separated.  I didn't love him, not the way I felt for my cousin.  After I separated, something happened to my cousin.  Miraculously, he lost his job, his car and his home and was forced to move in with his parents.  (I am  living with mine until divorce settled).  His parents live just three hours away from mine.  He came around for the holidays and he was so sweet.  Perfect.  We had a great conversation and his eyes just glittered when he looked at me.  I wonder if he feels the same way.  I asked him once if he was flirting with me at the family function before and he said he wasn't and would never do that and stopped talking to me for a little while.  But started again just before the holidays.  I just have no idea what is going on here.  He initiated.  I know he did.  I just wish I knew what was going on.  Sometimes I wish I never met him.

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I asked him once if he was flirting with me at the family function before and he said he wasn't and would never do that and stopped talking to me for a little while. 

You got your answer.  Even if you think he was flirting with you, we often get our signals crossed, especially when we are going through an emotional difficulty like a divorce.  Leave him alone. 

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I agree with Serendipity... if there are feelings there on his side, he will eventually let you know and you'll have to keep your feelings to yourself in the meantime - or forever as the case may be.  You kind of have to take his answer (that he didn't flirt) and sit on it for a while, hard as that is.  Sometimes we do feel things and it is one sided.  Sometimes not.  Only time will tell on this one.

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