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Shadow7

Cousin help

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So basically I am very attracted to my first cousin I would say love but I would say that I like her.

Since this is my first post I'm going to just fill everyone in about the feelings I have for my cousin.

So just a little background of me and my family my dad has 11 siblings and I now have a countless amount of cousins, a lot of us are very close in age though. The cousin I will be talking about is the exact same age as me , well two months and 13 days older but still we both are 17. We have always been close from the time we were little kids and we see each other pretty much every year at least once there is a couple year we might not have like 2 or 3 but not too much.

my attraction towards her started in June of 2012 when my family went out to there house (she lives in Ohio I'm in Illinois) for her brothers graduation party I notice how nice she looked and how much I enjoyed talking to her, I can't remember but I don't think it was as big as a crush as it is now just a little notice. Later that year of 2012 I saw her at a wedding and at my 16th birthday party in Chicago. This is the first major point for me is that her older brother was suppose to share a hotel bed with me because I'm an only child and her family has 4 kids but instead she said that she wanted to share it with me, we spent a total of 3 nights on the hotel bed cuddling each night and even waking up to find out that we were spooning one night I woke up with her staring right at me, not to mention on a cab ride back she sat on my lap and she could easily feel my dong just as easily as I could feel her butt gently but intentionally almost like a soft grinding on me So after that encounter I felt just more affection towards her.

  We didn't see each other again until July of 2013 when we went on a week long family vacation unfortunately I found out that she had a boyfriend but again sleeping is another big point for me. The first night she slept upstairs on a couch while I was downstairs on a blowup mattress and the second night out of her wanting she came down and asked if she could sleep on the mattress with me so I said sure that's fine, at this point in time I already had feeling for her and man had she grown more and more beautiful since I last saw her, we have always been close always at each other's side when the fam got together and as the week progressed either she or me would always attempt to be by each other, this is where things pick up.

  One day while we were down on the beach I was digging around in the sand entertaining some of our younger cousins when she ran up and smacked me right on the bum I didn't like freak out or anything but I was like did she just smack my ass? and after that she is more flirtatious towards me. On the final day of the vacation we all took one big picture with us standing on the beach and she was right next to me and of course she had her hand close to my butt a little too low than just an average pose for a picture. The day that we left and went back home I immediately felt so much sadness and confusion I was just so down and confused about my at this point strong feelings for her that I looked for advice not on here but on a app for the iPhone. I knew that I would be seeing her again on a wedding on my birthday so I looked for advice on what to do about my feelings and what should I do he next encounter I had with her so I wouldn't feel the same as I did after the vacation. I got a lot of she is your cousin leave her alone and I got a lot of go for it which I was not looking for. I was looking for what she people thought she thought from her actions and if I should avoid her or stick to her side when we meet next.

    On the day of the wedding I was a part of it so I had a duty to do but also she brought her boyfriend and when I found out I  decided to secretly keep my distance from her during the wedding. I talked to her a little bit but not much, enough so I could introduce myself to her boyfriend and talk a little and I used me being in the wedding party to be able to slip away when needed. After the reception was over we all went down to the lobby and I kept my distance from her as much as I could. She soon went to bed and upon getting up and leaving she said goodnight to everyone then came over to me and gave me a hug and said I'm going to bed goodnight to me only after she said goodnight to everyone else. The next morning as we all stood in the lobby she and her bf kinda separated as she was talking to the aunts and the other younger cousins as I and my other cousins talked to her boyfriend. When they left I told her bf that it was nice to meet him and a quick good buy to her I turned down a hug from her by a fist bump and a quick see ya. My separation from her during the wedding spared me from the sadness and depression that I had from her from the vacation, a couple days later I found out that her family would be coming back here for Christmas.

  During this last week, I did the exact opposite of what I did during the wedding and tried to be around her as much as possible we flirted quite a lot over the week and were pretty touchy. On a car ride we were talking and she brought up that she felt as if I had avoided her at the wedding, her words were " I feel like I didn't even see you or talk to you at the wedding" I was like yea I know but quickly gave the " well I was so busy being in it and it being my birthday I had a lot of people to talk to" which I really didn't. On the last night that they were staying at my grandmas I stayed there with them, just because I didn't really feel like driving back home. And she went to bed earlier then me but we texted for a little bit and she loves it when I give her back rubs and she brought up that I should sleep with her so I could rub her back which I said I would just sleep on the couch but she said she wanted me to come up, I responded with some flirtatious stuff like " every time I share a bed with you I get kicked or you are attached to me or on top of me", before she could respond she fell asleep and her phone died because she left her charger at my house. But in the morning she said yea I really wish you would have come up.

  Before they took off for Ohio she stopped by and got her charger and while I was giving her a hug goodbye my dog jumped up on her butt and was scratching her butt well sorta I couldn't speak for my dog but she noticed it was him and said to me " oh it's buddy scratching my butt not you, I was like why is he scratching my butt", I didn't think too much about this other then she didn't like push me off when buddy my dog was scratching her butt thinking it was me. After she left we texted for a little bit and she sent so many smiley faces to me, earlier that week too she complimented on how strong I was which I'm not that strong Hahaha I wish! But once again I was sad that she had left like the vacation but not as bad because I knew how to get ahold of myself again. As if now the next time I will see her is February 15th 2014 for another wedding.

So that pretty much wraps it up in a long story If you all could help me figure out if she acts different towards me if there is any meaning to what I call points to me and just help me out here I respect that she has a bf and I'm not going to like make a move or anything unless I completely know or have some backup so I don't ruin things between us and even if I don't think I would do anything other than have some fun with her maybe, I couldn't see us getting married or dating but just fun but who knows part of me says it's wrong part of me says have fun! And I'm not sure if it's just me being a 17 year old guy going through puberty saying have fun or it's because of what she has acted upon that she also feels for me. Any help people? Thank you too if you have kept up this far I really appreciate it!

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Try making paragraphs and using more punctuation.

Make it easier to read and you may get some help/advice.

I did not read.

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Firstly, my dear, there was a lot of mentions in your posts about sleeping together and other sexual overtones.  Even if the two of you are not "going all the way", you are tempting fate and setting up any potential relationship to be built upon a sexual attraction alone. 

Secondly, since she has a boyfriend, you are smart not to interfere in that.

I respect that she has a bf and I'm not going to like make a move or anything unless I completely know or have some backup so I don't ruin things between us and even if I don't think I would do anything other than have some fun with her maybe, I couldn't see us getting married or dating but just fun but who knows part of me says it's wrong part of me says have fun!

You state that you do not envision dating her, but rather just want to have fun with her.  I hope you mean have fun in a very platonic, cousinly sort of way, and not have fun in a sexual way (the overall tone of your post makes me think the latter).  Either way, if you have no interest in dating her or getting to know her as a potential romantic partner, then you need to back way off.  I am glad to see that you understand that 17 year old boys can sometimes be impulsive in this arena.  But toying around with a girl is bad enough, throw a cousin into the mix and you could bring some true family drama to your life.

Start learning to be a man right now.  Be man enough to treat her with respect and dignity.  Be man enough to put your raging hormones aside and do the right thing.  Be man enough to know that your interest in your cousin is nothing but flirtation.  Start thinking now about how you want to treat the young women you will date in the future.

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I'll be honest I don't really know how I feel I have talked to other girls and none of them seem to me like I connect with them and really enjoy talking to them like I do with my cousin

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OK Shadow7, I will say this as kindly, but as assertively, as I can:

You are not ready to date.  Anyone.  Period.

You need to focus on school, get a job, volunteer somewhere, join a club, find an activity you can be passionate about.  Get to know yourself and develop your own social skills before you begin to be responsible for the safe handling of a young lady's emotions.

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Well you people are just so helpful thanks. I appreciate serendipity's attempt instead of someone like Romalee who should fuck off because you are no help at all and this site is joke I reach out for help and all I get is shit

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Your response here only reinforces my opinion that you are not ready to date. 

You are angry at Romalee for what?  I'm the one who told you that you are not ready for dating. 

When you don't hear the answer that you want, the mature response is to sit with it a while, mull it over, see if there's any validity to what's being said and then either concede or present evidence in support of a contradictory point of view.  Since your response is to whine and pout and resort to name calling I can only assume that you have a lot of growing up to do.  And that's OK, you are young.  But don't come here and throw a temper tantrum because you don't get the advice you want.  Take it or leave it.  You'll be a better man for taking the advice you're given, but the choice is completely up to you.

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Shadow7 You need to clean up the last post you made or I will remove the

complete thread.. 

You are not liking the advice you are given and thus revert to "telling" me what I need to do,

because you said I was no help! If you think this site is such a joke then you are invited to leave at

any time. 

Post another derogatory post and this thread is gone. Don't like what I am telling you, then

take it up with admin. I promise they will back me and I WILL win this one!

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