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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Bentley22053

What should I do?

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So my cousin is 17 and I'm 13...don't judge...He's my second cousin so I'm not sure about having any kind of relationship with him...Last night he was texting me and he likes my best friend, but he said that if we weren't cousins he would probably like me a lot more than her...Our conversation started talking about my sister being sick and he's like fu. Then he said you would and I was like no I wouldn't and then he's like better not and I'm like nope lol and he's like good haha...then a while later (we were talking from 10 pm to 2 am) I asked him if we weren't cousins would he like me and his answer was yay...(lol) I'm then he's like I like you before we found out remember? And obviously I don't remember!  Then our conversation goes on and I asked him if he liked me now and he said yes...then there was an akward silence for like 5 min and then he texted me and said he was bored...Then l started (like always) a smiley face war and it ended with him saying fu because of course I won...then he's like you would and I was like maybe if we weren't cousins and I was older...Then he went on saying "Yeah well, if we weren't related I would kiss you." (I've never had any kind of relationship with a guy before or let alone kissed a guy) So I just replied yup... Then he wrote I would probably still kiss you but no one could know. (I only see him at slot car racing thats how we met 5 years ago...and I'm cyber schooled so I don't see him at school.) Then he's like Racing upstairs if no ones there...Then because I didn't reply he was like what are you thinking? I just said idk...there's no point...(The real reason there wasn't a point is because 1 theres always people upstairs and 2 because I've never kissed a guy before!) Then he kept asking why and I just replied saying its because I'm too young and were cousins. Then he was like be happy....(lol) I was like why....? Then he was like Be happy and I just said lol ok...by then it was 2 am and I was ready to fall asleep...So I was like "don't mention our conversation to anyone, promise? I'm going to sleep...night." He replied kk night, (he said my name but I'm not actually gonna say it.) Now this morning I was texting him and it felt kinda weird...normally we would never really talk in complete sentences and this morning were were...

Was it wrong for me to turn him down? What should I do...What do you think?

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first of all, what's to judge? that you like your cousin? that he likes you back? that's all normal stuff, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

that being said, you're 13. he's 17. be mindful of that, because if this relationship were to ever get even to kissing, or further (and it could quickly go further), in many states that is a crime and he could end up in jail. surely you don't want that to happen. also, at this age, you need to realize that no matter how you and your cousin feel now, it is fleeting... there will be many more guys come into your life (and girls into his) before either of you finds the right person to spend a life with. don't be quick to rush into giving yourself to the first guy you fall in love with, because it will hurt like hell when it ends.  remember too, that since he's four years older than you, he's much more inclined to want to become more physical than just kissing. at his age, he's more likely to pressure you for sex... and at 13, you really don't have enough experience dealing with these new emotions and hormones to avoid the millions of thorns that are in that bed of roses.

it's easy for us older ones to sit back and say this is the time of your life when you need to focus on school, and such... but ya know, i may be pushing 50 these days, but i remember being your age, and school is usually the last thing on a young girl's mind. you're on the brink of becoming a woman, and you're full of awe and wonder and longing and hormones and SOOOO many emotions. and all that can be very confusing. and without a doubt, those are going to be the things that you spend more of your time thinking about. wondering what that first kiss will be like... don't practice on your pillow, it can't even begin to compare. besides, pillows don't kiss back, they just get slobbery.

was it wrong to turn him down? no, you weren't wrong. like i said, don't rush things. it's far wiser to move very slowly than to follow your feelings right into a situation that may turn out to be more than you are ready for. the slower you take things now, the more ready you will be when the time is right... even if that isn't for a few more years. moving too quickly can ruin a good thing.

you said things that confused me though. the whole upstairs thing. are ya'll living in the same house or something?

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Thanks :) Haha no we have slot car racing in the basement of his grandpa's house and he was saying go upstairs...:)

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Well it probably wouldn't turn out well anyway...his ex girlfriend was talking to me and said he was a player and so I'm not going to even try....s :cry: 

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