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Taimis

Become a Teacher or Marry Him? (Need Advice)

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Lately, I was being bothered with thoughts about my dream and my plans of living together with my boyfriend. I am 21 years old turning 22 this May and I am currently taking up Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education, becoming a teacher is a lifelong dream but I know that I can sacrificed this in order to fulfill my other dream and that is to marry my boyfriend. I am in third year now but unfortunately, I was not allowed to take up some of the subjects due to the new curriculum of colleges here in the Philippines, meaning I will not enroll for the next semester. We accepted this misfortune as a blessing in disguise, seeing this as an opportunity to work someplace far from our home and live together for quite some time, just to experience living under the same roof. What I was worried about is that maybe if we get lucky and got married, is there any chance for me to go back to school and continue my studies? I was calling the attention of those who have knowledge about the teacher's policies in the Philippines. Is there any restrictions when it comes to a teacher marrying his second cousin? Does the government forbid a teacher on her duty if she goes to a very intriguing issue? I heard some of the code of ethics but I'm still confuse about those things.

Can someone help me? I'll be really grateful. Thank you in advance. :)

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i can't speak for the laws in the philippines, other than i'm almost positive 2nd cousins can legally marry.... and being from the united states, it's hard for me to fathom that there would be school policies governing who a teacher can marry.... maybe someone else can be of more help!

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Thank you for your response  LadyC!

Yeah I also heard that we can legally marry in civil but Im not sure if we can get married in church because that's what we wanted. Although I heard some news that our former Presidential son got married last 2000 (with his 2nd cousin) at the Catholic church and Im hoping that we can do that also.

Our society is quite sensitive about this matter especially that a teacher should be a role model and teach kids ethics and values that's why I'm confuse with all the policies. But thank you for replying. Its a big help!

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I agree with LadyC. I'm pretty sure that it is positive that 2nd cousins can marry in the Philippines. The laws of the Philippines only prevents consanguity up to the 4th degree -- and that is your first cousin.

Reference: Family Code of the Philippines. Chapter 3. Article 38.1

Art. 38. The following marriages shall be void from the beginning for reasons of public policy:

(1) Between collateral blood relatives whether legitimate or illegitimate, up to the fourth civil degree;

In other words, when you and your cousin will try to live together the possibility of marriage is voided from the start. But this does not apply to you because he is your second cousin. Sixth degree ang second cousin kaya safe ka doon.

However, even with that in mind, I would still advice you to wait some more. Pursue your teaching profession rather than being with him at the point and marrying him. How many years have you been together in a relationship anyways? You have to have a more solid foundation first, be independent because as soon as 'revelation' comes, you and your second cousin has to escape the 'scandal' and have the talk dissipate. You know the Filipino culture and it can be messy with relatives and all... What I'm saying is just practical. :)

...seeing this as an opportunity to work someplace far from our home and live together for quite some time, just to experience living under the same roof. What I was worried about is that maybe if we get lucky and got married, is there any chance for me to go back to school and continue my studies?

I dunno about you, okay.. And probably this is where we will differ. Because for me, I would want my parents and my cousin's parents to approve of our marriage or at least accept us first before going on to this 'marriage thing'. Marriage is a very serious thing for me and so I really cannot comment on this part... for it involves living together under the same roof without being married. I will withhold my comment on this one, I'm sorry. This one is up to you.

Nonetheless, what I can comment on is about your career path as a teacher even married (probably secretly?) with your second cousin. And I would say that this is perfectly fine. I think that there is no problem of you going back to school and continue your studies. By the way, do you mind if I ask you whether you have the same surname/last name? :)

The reason I asked is because if your last names are different then you have nothing to worry about. :)

Pooch

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I'm pretty sure that it is positive that 2nd cousins can marry in the Philippines. The laws of the Philippines only prevents consanguinity up to the 4th degree -- and that is your first cousin.

Reference: Family Code of the Philippines. Chapter 3. Article 38.1

I'm glad to hear that we can get married in civil but what I wanted to know Sir is that, if it is possible for us to get married in church?

However, even with that in mind, I would still advice you to wait some more. Pursue your teaching profession rather than being with him at the point and marrying him. How many years have you been together in a relationship anyways? You have to have a more solid foundation first, be independent because as soon as 'revelation' comes, you and your second cousin has to escape the 'scandal' and have the talk dissipate. You know the Filipino culture and it can be messy with relatives and all... What I'm saying is just practical. :)

Yes Sir, I do understand that I still have to prioritize my studies but the thing is, I will not be able to enroll next semester due to the new curriculum in Colleges that was being implemented starting this school year, the subjects that I was supposed to take for 1 and a half year would extend into another 3 years that's why my parents decided that I should work for the time being until I settled the subjects at school. My boyfriend and I see this as an opportunity to work far from our home and to settle down after several years (when we are financially stable and can already stand on our own), we will of course inform our parents about our plans before we get married and hopefully they will understand that we wanted to be together, but with or without their approval (which I know, will be difficult for us to attain) we will still pursue our plans.

We started to have relationship when we were in high school but we got separated because my father learned about our relationship but after 7 years with limited communication, our paths crossed again and we are now committed for a year. I know it was not that long unlike others here but I know him since I was a kid and I often see him though we live in different provinces.

I just wanted us to get married first before I go back to school so that I am already carrying his last name to prevent issues at the time that I am already teaching.

Nonetheless, what I can comment on is about your career path as a teacher even married (probably secretly?) with your second cousin. And I would say that this is perfectly fine. I think that there is no problem of you going back to school and continue your studies. By the way, do you mind if I ask you whether you have the same surname/last name? :)

The reason I asked is because if your last names are different then you have nothing to worry about. :)

Sure, I don't mind. Our grandma's are siblings and our fathers are 1st cousins, good thing that our paternal grandparents are both woman so it is hard to trace any common last names with us. We are not carrying the same last names or even middle names.

Thank you Sir Pooch for your response. I really appreciated it. :)

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if it is possible for us to get married in church?

I don't think it should be a problem.. The catholic church allows it. :) And it's not like they will do a background check on you or something...  The cathecism says that people are allowed to be married, so I think you would be all right. :)

I just wanted us to get married first before I go back to school so that I am already carrying his last name to prevent issues at the time that I am already teaching.

Ah, I see what you mean. Well, as long as you are not hiding from your parents about this, I think it would be fine. We don't want them to get hurt as well, don't we? :) But of course, both of you have to prepare for 'the revelation'. ;) Now if this is the path that you are both willing to undertake, then by all means, my support is on you. :) Tell him though that when this happens, this is a point of no return. With regards to the school though, I think I know what you mean with regards to the carrying of the surname. Things can get ugly in the workplace as well and so we would want to avoid that.... especially that you will be a teacher.

Sure, I don't mind. Our grandma's are siblings and our fathers are 1st cousins, good thing that our paternal grandparents are both woman so it is hard to trace any common last names with us. We are not carrying the same last names or even middle names.

Thank you Sir Pooch for your response. I really appreciated it. :)

That's wonderful! :) Then mas konti ang problema mo. hehe...

Pooch

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I don't think it should be a problem.. The catholic church allows it. :) And it's not like they will do a background check on you or something...  The cathecism says that people are allowed to be married, so I think you would be all right. :)

Yeah, I felt relieved about this. but Sir, I want to ask for your opinion.. if for example, our parents didn't approved on the idea of us getting married and we decided to just do it some place else.. do you think that the church would still ask for our parents? Was it a necessity for a couple to get married with their parents on their sides? How about if we were already adults, say 25 or 27? Will they allow us? Even without our parents consent?

Ah, I see what you mean. Well, as long as you are not hiding from your parents about this, I think it would be fine. We don't want them to get hurt as well, don't we? :) But of course, both of you have to prepare for 'the revelation'. ;) Now if this is the path that you are both willing to undertake, then by all means, my support is on you. :) Tell him though that when this happens, this is a point of no return. With regards to the school though, I think I know what you mean with regards to the carrying of the surname. Things can get ugly in the workplace as well and so we would want to avoid that.... especially that you will be a teacher.

I won't hide anything from my parents, if the judgement day comes.. My boyfriend and I will make it a point to explain everything to them, even our plans. I'm not expecting them to approve but of course I do hope that they might understand it soon.

Thank you for the support Sir Pooch, you know with our case, a support is very difficult to find. Even my bestfriend disagree with my relationship with my    cousin but I'm glad that she still understands.

Regards to the teaching career, yeah, I don't want things to get messy when I'm already teaching that's why I plan to get married first before I go to the work field.

That's wonderful! :) Then mas konti ang problema mo. hehe...

Right, its a good thing that we can hide that we are related, its not that it was something to be ashamed of, but you know other people.. some of them are still not familiar with this kind of story. We just wanted to prevent gossips for the sake of our families, we will cause them so much pain and we dont want them to hurt more by announcing to people about us.

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Yeah, I felt relieved about this. but Sir, I want to ask for your opinion.. if for example, our parents didn't approved on the idea of us getting married and we decided to just do it some place else.. do you think that the church would still ask for our parents? Was it a necessity for a couple to get married with their parents on their sides? How about if we were already adults, say 25 or 27? Will they allow us? Even without our parents consent?

Of course you will be allowed to be married even without your parents lalo na kung above 25 years old na kayo pareho. Pero kelangang may dalawang saksi ka. :) As to the details, yun ang hindi ko na alam.

I won't hide anything from my parents, if the judgement day comes.. My boyfriend and I will make it a point to explain everything to them, even our plans. I'm not expecting them to approve but of course I do hope that they might understand it soon.

yep.

Thank you for the support Sir Pooch, you know with our case, a support is very difficult to find. Even my bestfriend disagree with my relationship with my cousin but I'm glad that she still understands.

Yeah.. I understand.

I don't know if this might help pero tanungin mo siya kung bakit siya disaprubado sa boypren mo.

Ibigay mo ang positibong karakteristics ni bf. Sabihin mong pinag-iigib ka naman niya ng tubig, matalino, binibigyan ng bulaklak tsaka on top of it marunong pang maggitara! O sangkapa?!  :laugh: :laugh: hehehe..

Pero pwera biro, tanungin mo siya kung bakit. Kung ang isasagot niya sa iyo eh, "Eh kasi pinsan mo siya eh!" or "Eh kasi incest yun!", "diba bawal sa Biblia yun?" edukahan mo siya. Kung in the end eh, sasabihin niyang "Ahh.. okay, pero basta, hindi ko pa rin feel na ang bf mo eh pinsan mo -- kadiri kaya!!", treat it as a taboo factor lang... alam mo yun, parang foreigner na ayaw ng balut. Pero kapag ang response niya eh, "Wala ka na bang ibang manliligaw na pwede mong sagutin!?" or "Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng manliligaw mo eh, sa ganda mong yan eh, sa pinsan mo pa ikaw pumatol?!", maghanap ka na ng bagong bespren.

Regards to the teaching career, yeah, I don't want things to get messy when I'm already teaching that's why I plan to get married first before I go to the work field.

Yep. :)

Right, its a good thing that we can hide that we are related, its not that it was something to be ashamed of, but you know other people.. some of them are still not familiar with this kind of story. We just wanted to prevent gossips for the sake of our families, we will cause them so much pain and we dont want them to hurt more by announcing to people about us.

Of course! I know what you are saying. Tamo ah, eh dito nga sa Canada na legal ang cousin relationships eh, kung mangatog ang tuhod ko kapag iniisip ang judgment day eh ganun na lang eh, how much more kaya sa mga nasa Pinas?! Alam mo yun!? Sa bagay, iba naman kasi ang Canada kasi sa Pinas eh. Ang Canada is not a Christian nation while ang Philippines is. Ganumpaman, mahirap kasi yung mga pag yung mga kakilala na natin ang involved eh. diba? Ang hihilig pa man din sa tsismis ng marami lalo't ito'y isang "juicy story".... atsaka alam mo yun, ito ang mga bagay na hindi ka lulubayan eh. Siguro 100x mong ieexplain sa 102 na magtatanong ang sitwasyon ng love life mo and every single time, may "kirot" pa rin dahil sa facial expression pa lang nila from the start. hay ewan ko ba.

Pooch

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Of course you will be allowed to be married even without your parents lalo na kung above 25 years old na kayo pareho. Pero kelangang may dalawang saksi ka. :) As to the details, yun ang hindi ko na alam.

Good thing. At least pwede na. :)

Yeah.. I understand.

I don't know if this might help pero tanungin mo siya kung bakit siya disaprubado sa boypren mo.

Ibigay mo ang positibong karakteristics ni bf. Sabihin mong pinag-iigib ka naman niya ng tubig, matalino, binibigyan ng bulaklak tsaka on top of it marunong pang maggitara! O sangkapa?!  :laugh: :laugh: hehehe..

Pero pwera biro, tanungin mo siya kung bakit. Kung ang isasagot niya sa iyo eh, "Eh kasi pinsan mo siya eh!" or "Eh kasi incest yun!", "diba bawal sa Biblia yun?" edukahan mo siya. Kung in the end eh, sasabihin niyang "Ahh.. okay, pero basta, hindi ko pa rin feel na ang bf mo eh pinsan mo -- kadiri kaya!!", treat it as a taboo factor lang... alam mo yun, parang foreigner na ayaw ng balut. Pero kapag ang response niya eh, "Wala ka na bang ibang manliligaw na pwede mong sagutin!?" or "Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng manliligaw mo eh, sa ganda mong yan eh, sa pinsan mo pa ikaw pumatol?!", maghanap ka na ng bagong bespren.

Blessed parin naman po ako to have a very understanding bestfriend. Alam naman niya ang tungkol dito kahit bago pa kami magkabalikan ng bf ko (from our relationship during high school--after7 yrs) kapag nagcocomment siya malumanay siya magsalita at wala siyang harsh words though medyo nagresemble yung last part na sinabi niyo sa sinbi niya, pero in a nice way naman niya sinabi.. iba na lang daw kung pwede. pero syempre nirerespeto niya ang desisyon ko but she kept on reminding me na mahihirapan ako. Sa tingin ko na number 1 reason niya kung bakit against siya eh dahil concern siya sa pamilya ko na maaari kong masaktan.

Of course! I know what you are saying. Tamo ah, eh dito nga sa Canada na legal ang cousin relationships eh, kung mangatog ang tuhod ko kapag iniisip ang judgment day eh ganun na lang eh, how much more kaya sa mga nasa Pinas?! Alam mo yun!? Sa bagay, iba naman kasi ang Canada kasi sa Pinas eh. Ang Canada is not a Christian nation while ang Philippines is. Ganumpaman, mahirap kasi yung mga pag yung mga kakilala na natin ang involved eh. diba? Ang hihilig pa man din sa tsismis ng marami lalo't ito'y isang "juicy story".... atsaka alam mo yun, ito ang mga bagay na hindi ka lulubayan eh. Siguro 100x mong ieexplain sa 102 na magtatanong ang sitwasyon ng love life mo and every single time, may "kirot" pa rin dahil sa facial expression pa lang nila from the start. hay ewan ko ba.

Ang mahirap naman po dito sa Pinas eh yung mga nakakatanda, masyadong maraming sinasabi at mapamahiin tapos takot sa kanila ang parents dahil naninisi na "Haya! Nagkaganyan ang mga anak niyo dahil pabaya kayo!" kaya in return, mas nagooppossed sila sa ganitong relasyon.

Nakakapagod magexplain kung sakali sa totoo lang, kaya dun sa mga taong hindi naman involve, ayokong magexplain sa kanila.. lalo pa at wala namang magndang sasabihin.

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Blessed parin naman po ako to have a very understanding bestfriend. Alam naman niya ang tungkol dito kahit bago pa kami magkabalikan ng bf ko (from our relationship during high school--after7 yrs) kapag nagcocomment siya malumanay siya magsalita at wala siyang harsh words though medyo nagresemble yung last part na sinabi niyo sa sinbi niya, pero in a nice way naman niya sinabi.. iba na lang daw kung pwede. pero syempre nirerespeto niya ang desisyon ko but she kept on reminding me na mahihirapan ako. Sa tingin ko na number 1 reason niya kung bakit against siya eh dahil concern siya sa pamilya ko na maaari kong masaktan.

I see. Hindi naman pala judgemental yung bestfriend mo...But at the same time eh hindi rin siya ganung aprubado..which I think is fine and quite typical. :)

Ang mahirap naman po dito sa Pinas eh yung mga nakakatanda, masyadong maraming sinasabi at mapamahiin tapos takot sa kanila ang parents dahil naninisi na "Haya! Nagkaganyan ang mga anak niyo dahil pabaya kayo!" kaya in return, mas nagooppossed sila sa ganitong relasyon.

hehe..totoo yan.

Nakakapagod magexplain kung sakali sa totoo lang, kaya dun sa mga taong hindi naman involve, ayokong magexplain sa kanila.. lalo pa at wala namang magndang sasabihin.

Alam mo, I think really should learn this...

Ewan ko ba, ako kasi yung taong gustong maging isang "bukas na libro" eh.. Alam mo yun? Kaya para bang gusto kong sagutin lahat ang kahit na sinong magtatanong ba. Para ba wala silang makitang mali, o 'abnormal' sa ginagawa namin (o sa love life ko).. parang ganun..

Pero at the same time, nakakapagod rin kasi eh. Syempre pipiliin mo ang taong seryoso talagang nagtatanong at magiging concerned (gaya ng parents panigurado at ilang kamag-anak na malapit ka) pero what about yung mga kaibigan? At kahit sa mga kaibigan, may mga acquaintances at may mga msa malalapit eh. Oh well.. I know ibang issue naman ito pero naiisip ko lang. Kaya naman nabanggit ko na siguro kelangan kong matutunan nga ang "wag magexplain sa mga taong hindi naman involved".

Pero paano pag nagtanong sila? Anong sasabihin ko?

Alam mo yung tanong na just for curiousity's sake? Or just for conversation's sake? May ganun eh...

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I hope this will help Sir Pooch:

Once, napagusapan namin ng bestfriend ko na bakit daw noong mga bata pa kami kapag may mali kaming nagawa, hindi kami mapakali hanggat hindi namin naeexplain ang side namin sa bawat tao na may kinalaman man o wala. pero nitong magcollege na at napagod na kami sa mga pinagagawa naming mali eh tamad na kaming sumagot: "Just because. Nangyari na eh." Hindi ko alam kung tamang attitude ang ganun, pero once na mapagod ka.. this will come naturally. Parehong pareho tayo Sir Pooch, masyado nga daw kasi akong go by the rules kaya takot ako sa iisipin ng iba, nadedepress ako ng dahil dito until I realized na lahat ng tao ay may kanya kanyang pangyayari sa buhay. Tamad na akong magexplain. Kapag may nagtatanong sakin ng tungkol sa pagkakamali ko (sa ibang bagay man at hindi sa relasyon ko) sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na: "Someday, he'll know it for himself." Siya mismo ang makakatuklas nun, hindi ko kailangang magdetalye sa kanya lalo pa at hindi naman siya involve. Here's an example: May tita ako na masyadong competitive sa Papa ko (They are siblings) so nung isang beses na mapatigil ako sa pagaaral dahil sa financial problem, she mocked my father, saying: "Hindi ka kasi marunong sa buhay kaya wala kang mapatapos sa mga anak mo." I was hurt, mayabang siya dahil nagaaral ng architecture ang anak niya sa Maynila.

Ako yung taong mabilis magalit until maburn out ako at matutong magtimpi, gusto ko siyang sigawan at kulamin that time pero sabi ko sa sarili ko: "Balang araw, malalaman mo din kung paano dumaan sa ganito." And there, after 6 months napatigil ang anak niya dahil sa mga utang nila. Natameme siya. Pero kami, nanahimik lang din dahil alam na namin na alam na niya ang tama.

Ikaw na nga ang may sabi Sir Pooch:  just for curiousity's sake? Or just for conversation's sake. So bakit mo pa isasatisfy yung mga taong tsismis lang ang gustong masagap. Pero kung syempre nga naman, hindi pwede na hindi tayo sumagot so just tell them: "Normal lang din naman ang relasyon ko, naging extraordinary lang siya dahil natakot ang tadhana na baka hindi kami magkakilala dahil pareho kaming walang sense of direction kaya pinaglapit na kami agad at ginawang magkapatid ang magulang namin. Alam mo na, minsan talaga.. segurista ang tadhana." HAHAHA. But kidding aside (though pwede mo talagang sabihin yan) best siguro na kapag may nagtanong eh ikwento mo yung summary lang ng mga pangyayari, nakakairita man sumagot pero sagutin mo na lang yung bawat tanong nila in a nice way dahil kapag nakita nilang hindi ka komportable iisipin nila na ikinahihiya mo ang relasyon mo at lalong dadagdag yun sa mali nilang paniniwala.

About sa mga taong involve naman, of course we need to explain everything to them pero hindi mo kailangang ipaintindi sa kanila yun.. dahil maiintindihan rin nila yun kapag sila na mismo ang dumaan sa ganitong sitwasyon (I mean, hindi man mismo sa cousins relationship kundi sa ibang bato na itatapon sa kanila ng buhay.) Parang nagbigay ka lang sa kanila ng topic at sila na ang bahalang magdiskubre, hindi natin sila pwedeng subuan ng subuan ng tungkol sa kwento natin at na tama tayo dahil hindi nila yun madidigest unless magkusa sila at maranasan nila ang mga yun on their own. Ang pinakamahalaga naman dito eh kung anong tingin mo sa sarili mo at kung ano ang meron ka, dapat nga mas humanga pa sila satin dahil kaya nating maghintay at humarap sa napakalaking sakripisyo.

Ang haba na pala ng nasabi ko.. hiningal ako. Hehehe. Sana nakatulong Sir Pooch. :)

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I hope this will help Sir Pooch:

Once, napagusapan namin ng bestfriend ko na bakit daw noong mga bata pa kami kapag may mali kaming nagawa, hindi kami mapakali hanggat hindi namin naeexplain ang side namin sa bawat tao na may kinalaman man o wala. pero nitong magcollege na at napagod na kami sa mga pinagagawa naming mali eh tamad na kaming sumagot: "Just because. Nangyari na eh." Hindi ko alam kung tamang attitude ang ganun, pero once na mapagod ka.. this will come naturally. Parehong pareho tayo Sir Pooch, masyado nga daw kasi akong go by the rules kaya takot ako sa iisipin ng iba, nadedepress ako ng dahil dito until I realized na lahat ng tao ay may kanya kanyang pangyayari sa buhay. Tamad na akong magexplain. Kapag may nagtatanong sakin ng tungkol sa pagkakamali ko (sa ibang bagay man at hindi sa relasyon ko) sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na: "Someday, he'll know it for himself." Siya mismo ang makakatuklas nun, hindi ko kailangang magdetalye sa kanya lalo pa at hindi naman siya involve. Here's an example: May tita ako na masyadong competitive sa Papa ko (They are siblings) so nung isang beses na mapatigil ako sa pagaaral dahil sa financial problem, she mocked my father, saying: "Hindi ka kasi marunong sa buhay kaya wala kang mapatapos sa mga anak mo." I was hurt, mayabang siya dahil nagaaral ng architecture ang anak niya sa Maynila.

Ako yung taong mabilis magalit until maburn out ako at matutong magtimpi, gusto ko siyang sigawan at kulamin that time pero sabi ko sa sarili ko: "Balang araw, malalaman mo din kung paano dumaan sa ganito." And there, after 6 months napatigil ang anak niya dahil sa mga utang nila. Natameme siya. Pero kami, nanahimik lang din dahil alam na namin na alam na niya ang tama.

Ikaw na nga ang may sabi Sir Pooch:  just for curiousity's sake? Or just for conversation's sake. So bakit mo pa isasatisfy yung mga taong tsismis lang ang gustong masagap. Pero kung syempre nga naman, hindi pwede na hindi tayo sumagot so just tell them: "Normal lang din naman ang relasyon ko, naging extraordinary lang siya dahil natakot ang tadhana na baka hindi kami magkakilala dahil pareho kaming walang sense of direction kaya pinaglapit na kami agad at ginawang magkapatid ang magulang namin. Alam mo na, minsan talaga.. segurista ang tadhana." HAHAHA. But kidding aside (though pwede mo talagang sabihin yan) best siguro na kapag may nagtanong eh ikwento mo yung summary lang ng mga pangyayari, nakakairita man sumagot pero sagutin mo na lang yung bawat tanong nila in a nice way dahil kapag nakita nilang hindi ka komportable iisipin nila na ikinahihiya mo ang relasyon mo at lalong dadagdag yun sa mali nilang paniniwala.

About sa mga taong involve naman, of course we need to explain everything to them pero hindi mo kailangang ipaintindi sa kanila yun.. dahil maiintindihan rin nila yun kapag sila na mismo ang dumaan sa ganitong sitwasyon (I mean, hindi man mismo sa cousins relationship kundi sa ibang bato na itatapon sa kanila ng buhay.) Parang nagbigay ka lang sa kanila ng topic at sila na ang bahalang magdiskubre, hindi natin sila pwedeng subuan ng subuan ng tungkol sa kwento natin at na tama tayo dahil hindi nila yun madidigest unless magkusa sila at maranasan nila ang mga yun on their own. Ang pinakamahalaga naman dito eh kung anong tingin mo sa sarili mo at kung ano ang meron ka, dapat nga mas humanga pa sila satin dahil kaya nating maghintay at humarap sa napakalaking sakripisyo.

Ang haba na pala ng nasabi ko.. hiningal ako. Hehehe. Sana nakatulong Sir Pooch. :)

Isa kang alamat! Malaking tulong! :) Salamat ng marami... :)

Ganitong-ganito nga ako. Go by the rules talaga. Hindi ko kayang sabihin yung "Just because. Nangyari na eh." Alam mo yun? Feel ko eh kelangan kong sumagot sa bawat nagtatanong sa akin. Pero nakakapagod rin eh kaya ayoko na lang may magtanong! lolz.

"Just because. Nangyari na eh." Hindi ko alam kung tamang attitude ang ganun, pero once na mapagod ka.. this will come naturally. Parehong pareho tayo Sir Pooch, masyado nga daw kasi akong go by the rules kaya takot ako sa iisipin ng iba

Kapag may nagtatanong sakin ng tungkol sa pagkakamali ko (sa ibang bagay man at hindi sa relasyon ko) sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na: "Someday, he'll know it for himself." Siya mismo ang makakatuklas nun, hindi ko kailangang magdetalye sa kanya lalo pa at hindi naman siya involve. Here's an example: May tita ako na masyadong competitive sa Papa ko (They are siblings) so nung isang beses na mapatigil ako sa pagaaral dahil sa financial problem, she mocked my father, saying: "Hindi ka kasi marunong sa buhay kaya wala kang mapatapos sa mga anak mo." I was hurt, mayabang siya dahil nagaaral ng architecture ang anak niya sa Maynila.

Ako yung taong mabilis magalit until maburn out ako at matutong magtimpi, gusto ko siyang sigawan at kulamin that time pero sabi ko sa sarili ko: "Balang araw, malalaman mo din kung paano dumaan sa ganito." And there, after 6 months napatigil ang anak niya dahil sa mga utang nila. Natameme siya. Pero kami, nanahimik lang din dahil alam na namin na alam na niya ang tama.

Thanks!

Ikaw na nga ang may sabi Sir Pooch:  just for curiousity's sake? Or just for conversation's sake. So bakit mo pa isasatisfy yung mga taong tsismis lang ang gustong masagap. Pero kung syempre nga naman, hindi pwede na hindi tayo sumagot so just tell them

Exactly! Yun nga yung iniisip ko eh. Kasi hindi naman tayo pwedeng hindi naman sumagot. Alam mo yun? Kahit ba hindi naman talaga siya seryoso talaga eh at gusto lang ng mapaguusapan eh, you still have to tell him something.. at least something...lam mo yun? Pero maganda yung sagot mo ah! Natuwa talaga ako!

"Normal lang din naman ang relasyon ko, naging extraordinary lang siya dahil natakot ang tadhana na baka hindi kami magkakilala dahil pareho kaming walang sense of direction kaya pinaglapit na kami agad at ginawang magkapatid ang magulang namin. Alam mo na, minsan talaga.. segurista ang tadhana." HAHAHA. But kidding aside (though pwede mo talagang sabihin yan) best siguro na kapag may nagtanong eh ikwento mo yung summary lang ng mga pangyayari, nakakairita man sumagot pero sagutin mo na lang yung bawat tanong nila in a nice way dahil kapag nakita nilang hindi ka komportable iisipin nila na ikinahihiya mo ang relasyon mo at lalong dadagdag yun sa mali nilang paniniwala.

Hmm.. Now at nabanggit mo ito, napaisip tuloy ako ng summary ng relationship ng love life ko. hahaha!

Yun bang in 3-5 sentences lang? Na may laman naman kahit papaano at hindi obvious na gusto mo lang i-placate o isatisfy ang curiousity nung taong nagtatanong? hehehe..

About sa mga taong involve naman, of course we need to explain everything to them pero hindi mo kailangang ipaintindi sa kanila yun.. dahil maiintindihan rin nila yun kapag sila na mismo ang dumaan sa ganitong sitwasyon (I mean, hindi man mismo sa cousins relationship kundi sa ibang bato na itatapon sa kanila ng buhay.) Parang nagbigay ka lang sa kanila ng topic at sila na ang bahalang magdiskubre, hindi natin sila pwedeng subuan ng subuan ng tungkol sa kwento natin at na tama tayo dahil hindi nila yun madidigest unless magkusa sila at maranasan nila ang mga yun on their own. Ang pinakamahalaga naman dito eh kung anong tingin mo sa sarili mo at kung ano ang meron ka, dapat nga mas humanga pa sila satin dahil kaya nating maghintay at humarap sa napakalaking sakripisyo.

Ang haba na pala ng nasabi ko.. hiningal ako. Hehehe. Sana nakatulong Sir Pooch. :)

Wow, thank you! Ikaw na ang Taimis! :) Nakaka-encourage naman..! :)

Pooch

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