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Guest xFrecklesx

Cousins, baby, need to tell parents...

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So me and my first cousin have been in a relationship for nearly two years, all my friends now know at our work and they are happy for us none of them have any problems with it but the thing is mine or his parents don't know about us and well im now pregnant by him so its not really a secret I can keep for long! we have our own house and are very happy but im scared of their rections! help!

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Well, it's definitely too late to worry about their reactions. How they react is up to each of them and you have very little control over that.

At this point, you probably want to start looking at whether and when (and maybe where) to get married. Also, depending on the state you live in, you might want to give some serious thought to moving to a "friendly" state. Some states will put you both in jail and take the child into permanent custody.

It's time to think less about the relatives and more about the family you are starting.  In a very short time, your entire life is about to change completely (and I hope/believe for the better).

Best wishes,

CM

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How have you managed to keep this a secret from your parents for so long? 

I agree with CM that you have no control over how others will react.  If you are going to have grandparents in your child's life, you're gonna have to take a deep breath and just tell them.  My guess is that they will want to have a relationship with their future grandchild and will behave with dignity when you tell them.

I also agree with CM that you need to look into your state's laws concerning cousin relationships.  In my state, simply being involved sexually with my 1st cousin is a felony - which is why I am in his neck of the woods most often where there is no such complication (we're in a long distance relationship for the time being).  And if your parents are in any way vindictive, they may use the law to keep the child from you.

I disagree with CM that you might want to start considering marriage.  I am not anti-marriage in any sense, but I don't believe that becoming pregnant is sufficient reason to enter into a marriage relationship.  After being together 2 years, you must have a sense by now if you want to get married or remain living together without marriage.  Whatever you decide, you will want to think about what will be in the best interest of your child. 

Children are a great blessing.  Don't get yourself stressed out over this - it's not good for your baby!  Enjoy your pregnancy, take care of yourself and see your doctor regularly.  Before you know it, a little bundle of joy will change your life forever!

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We live in the uk so it's legal to marry your first cousin here, I've just told my mum and her reaction couldn't be better she wasn't disgusted she was just happy and asked me if she could babysit lol!!

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So glad to hear that your mom reacted with delight!  Of course she will want to babysit that little cutie pie!

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