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Gabrial.S

I really have no idea what I'm doing.

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

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My name is Gabrial, or I guess Gabe for short. I'm 21 years old and I'm not exactly proud of how I discovered this site. I guess...the beginning of this whole mess?

A few months ago my 1st cousin Ali, told me she had a crush on me. I didn't really know what to say when I got the text and the first thing I typed was 'why?' not my greatest moment but she didn't seem to mind and she told me her reasons and I didn't really care. In fact I was positive she was just joking around. I mean she's my cousin and my friend it was weird and I just brushed it off. I didn't really think about it for awhile and then I started to notice how close she would be, or how she would always ask me something first. How she offered to make me food or get me something if I needed it. The thought of her crush came to mind but I blew it off. There was no way...

Then I started to notice things about myself too. I always noticed when she came in, even if I was playing a game and it was natural for me to either pause it or put the damn controller down just because she was sitting across from me. I would follow her sometimes when she would get me things just to keep talking to her; god forbid one of her friends interrupt a conversation. I guess, in a delayed way, I realized I may have a crush on my cousin for real. It was freaking me out a bit, because I was so sure it had been a joke and now here I was running away with a harmless prank.

And it's not she was my last option or anything; for some reason lots of her friends like me but for all their trying I've never really wanted them to be anything more than a friend...like most girls I meet. Maybe it's because she doesn't mind that I like gaming, or hate going outside unless provoked,  she doesn't mind when I forget to be gentle (my cousin is a bigger girl so I guess it's easy to forget she's way smaller than me even if she is wider) I don't really know why I like her or when it happened. I was perfectly happy to just let it lie too....until she got a boyfriend. I'm ashamed to admit that for a while I stopped really talking to her.

They broke up a few weeks ago though and I don't remember teasing her ever being so much fun before. I decided to try and see if maybe her joke had been serious; I've tried making my crush known a bit, implying things and such but she doesn't seem to get it. It's frustrating but at the same time I'm not sure what I would do if she found out I've fallen for her. She tends to run away from people. Sometimes it seems like she doesn't like me at all even as a friend; I was worried that maybe my hopes were for nothing (a bad joke that took over my brain) but then I was borrowing her laptop and found this site in her history....I snooped I guess. I was shocked that she had looked up this stuff about couples who were cousins and it made me curious, and kind of confirmed for me that it really is possible that she seriously likes me; that maybe by brushing it off I kind of rejected her.

The point of this long thing is that my cousin told me she was crushing on me, I thought it was a joke.....and now I'm the one crushing and I don't know if she likes me or not. I'm not really sure what to do about it. Maybe someone can help me....possibly...pretty please?  :undecided:  .

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There's really only one thing you can do, isn't there?

Tell her how you feel.

Worst case scenario? She's not interested. At least then you know, and can start to move on. Best case scenario? You still know, and get to move on to better things, together. Is it an extremely intimidating prospect, telling her how you feel? Absolutely. Goodness knows telling my cousin about my feelings was one of the most terrifying things I've ever done. I think it's worth it either way, though... The doubt and indecision are worse than even a straight up lack of reciprocation.

The longer you wait, the more time there is for other things to come between you, just as it would be with a girl who isn't your cousin. You didn't mention anything about potential family objections, but that's still something to worry about after you've established her feelings towards you.

Go for it.

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I asked my dad his opinion of my cousin....he called her a stupid s**t and tons of other things...I don't think my dad would approve. Nor do I think Ill be talking to my dad for awhile. I asked her mom and she just shrugged and said "to each his own."

I think maybe family wouldn't be an issue but what if she is grossed out and tells the family or worse my dad? He's already looking for a reason to throw me out

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I asked my dad his opinion of my cousin....he called her a stupid s**t and tons of other things...I don't think my dad would approve. Nor do I think Ill be talking to my dad for awhile. I asked her mom and she just shrugged and said "to each his own."

I think maybe family wouldn't be an issue but what if she is grossed out and tells the family or worse my dad? He's already looking for a reason to throw me out

I can't see why she should be grossed out about it because whether she was joking or not, she told you she had/has a crush on you. Family shouldn't know until you are serious about a relationship together. Sometimes it takes a while i'd guess for families to accept cousin relationships but it comes with the territory i'm afraid.

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The way I see it, you are on easy street in regard to telling her. She has already told you so the uncomfortable factor is diminished.

If I wouldn't have married my cousin, I would have missed out in what love really is. I say go for it and let the chips fall where they may...

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