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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Forgottenbeauty

I'm afraid he got me pregnant I'm only 16

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My and my cousin have been talking for a while now nothing official. I went to stay over his house and we end up having sex even though we used a condom I feel like it could have broken. It's to soon to tell if I am pregnant I might just be paranoid but I'm really scared. I don't want to have to tell my parents I'm pregnant by my cousin. I can't but plan B pills I have no money and no way of getting any. I don't know what to do now.

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you are probably being paranoid. this is one of many reasons why you shouldn't be having sex! i remember being young and foolish, too... and i can't tell you how paranoid i was nearly every month. and later when i was in my twenties, i had a roommate who swore every month when she got her period that she'd miscarried. again. so you see, your fears are normal. it's your brain's way of saying "quit, the time isn't right!".

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I'd agree with LadyC, your only 16 and if you carry on having sex you'll be afraid of getting pregnant time and time again. I'd quit while your young but if its hard NOT to have sex with your cousin, i'd try and get some kind of birth control from your doctor. Doesn't mean by having birth control, you should go and sleep with anyone though  :smiley:

You have your whole life ahead of you, don't ruin it  :smiley:

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I disagree with Nessa on one point:  Just because abstaining from a sexual relationship with your cousin is hard does not mean that you should go on birth control and continue having an intimate relationship with him.  You are 16 and too young to be having sex with anyone.  If you are not ready to deal with the possible consequences of a  sexual relationship, then you are not ready for sex. 

If a condom breaks, believe me, he will know it.  If he didn't tell you that it broke he is either a jerk or it just didn't happen.  Why don't you ask him? Take a deep breath and if you need to, get a drug store pregnancy test.  But realize that stress can also cause your cycle to be irregular, so you may get off schedule by worrying about this!

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" If you are not ready to deal with the possible consequences of a  sexual relationship, then you are not ready for sex.  "

that's the best statement regarding sex i have EVER HEARD! but of course, nobody who has had sex will ever listen to that advice. what a pity.

oh and for the record, you can get pregnancy tests at dollar stores too, now. and they work. i've had friends that used them, and they were always accurate.

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haha, my daughters STILL don't think my tidbits of wisdom are anything but garbage. well, i take that back... my oldest one (now 27) is just beginning to see the light. my youngest one though, who just turned 26, still thinks i'm stodgy.

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There's a lot of foolish teens that have got pregnant and some have got pregnant deliberately. Saying they feel unloved etc... but i think we all go through that silly phase in our teens of feeling that way.

To the OP, LadyC is right. There are a lot of home testing kits that have accurate results and if i remember rightly, they're not expensive either  :smiley:

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oh nessa, you're so right. i can't count how many times i've heard some young girl saying that she wants a baby because a baby will LOVE her. oh my gosh, they have such an idealistic view of what having a child is about. they don't realize how unloved they'll feel when that baby screams, cries, and will not stop. they don't know how unloved they'll feel when that kid throws a temper tantrum in front of a crowd of people because they won't let the kid have what they want. and that's just the easy stuff. if they want to know how unloved they are going to feel when that kid hits its teens, they should look at their own relationship with their own mother. :(

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I'm hoping (and suspecting) that you're just being paranoid.  Condoms very rarely "break" or fail unless you're doing something incredibly wrong with them.  I do, however remember those fears all those years ago... and I don't miss that kind of stress at all.

Dare I ask how old your cousin is?

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I realized now that I was being paranoid. I'm perfectly fine and maybe I'm just not ready to start having sex. Thanks for all your advice it really helped.

My cousin is 17.

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Forgottenbeauty,

Glad to hear all is well and that you were just scared.  That's normal and natural (also glad to hear your cousin isn't 30 years old or something crazy like that).  Go with your gut on this one where readiness for sex is concerned.  There's a whole world that will tell you how great it is but just remember that it isn't going anywhere and there will be plenty of time to experience it much with a lot less worry and panic later on.

Best wishes,

CM

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