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Advice....4 years on and I still can't let go


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4 years ago I fell head over heels in love with my first cousin. I fancied him for a while and then one night I had family round for a few drinks, everyone had gone except him. We kissed and one thing led to another. After it happened I was ashamed and worried, we was cousins and it shouldn't of happened but I couldn't stop thinking about him. He got a girlfriend but we still text and saw each other a lot. 10 months after it first happened we was alone and it happened again, I knew it was wrong he had a girlfriend but I had never wanted someone as much as I did him. It carried on for a while and then I discovered I was pregnant. Of course the normal fears of would my baby be affected or deformed etc. I spoke to a professional and they told me that i shouldn't be ashamed i hadn't done anything wrong and the chances of my baby be affected were soo low. He told he loved me and wanted to be with me but the cousin thing bothered him more then it did me. He was going to leave his girlfriend and be single, be a dad to our baby until she got pregnant. He never left her, he left our daughter fatherless for a year until someone told his girlfriend about our daughter. Our little girl is 2 and a half now and she has her daddy and a little brother. He is still with his girlfriend and I am with someone else. Me and partner have a great life, we are good together and he adores me and my girls, I love him but I can't give myself fully to him because my cousin still has my heart. I still think about every day, many times a day, i dream about him and I still want him. I still love him so much and I don't want too anymore. I cry atleast once a week for him, i wonder if he has any love for me anymore. I think he does, the way he looks at me and the way we talk sometimes but it could just be hope. 4 years and the pain is still fresh I've just learned to deal with it better. 4 years! Why can't I stop loving him? Can someone please tell me how I learn to not love him because I can't take much more.

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4 years ago I fell head over heels in love with my first cousin. I fancied him for a while and then one night I had family round for a few drinks, everyone had gone except him. We kissed and one thing led to another. After it happened I was ashamed and worried, we was cousins and it shouldn't of happened but I couldn't stop thinking about him. He got a girlfriend but we still text and saw each other a lot. 10 months after it first happened we was alone and it happened again, I knew it was wrong he had a girlfriend but I had never wanted someone as much as I did him. It carried on for a while and then I discovered I was pregnant. Of course the normal fears of would my baby be affected or deformed etc. I spoke to a professional and they told me that i shouldn't be ashamed i hadn't done anything wrong and the chances of my baby be affected were soo low. He told he loved me and wanted to be with me but the cousin thing bothered him more then it did me. He was going to leave his girlfriend and be single, be a dad to our baby until she got pregnant. He never left her, he left our daughter fatherless for a year until someone told his girlfriend about our daughter. Our little girl is 2 and a half now and she has her daddy and a little brother. He is still with his girlfriend and I am with someone else. Me and partner have a great life, we are good together and he adores me and my girls, I love him but I can't give myself fully to him because my cousin still has my heart. I still think about every day, many times a day, i dream about him and I still want him. I still love him so much and I don't want too anymore. I cry atleast once a week for him, i wonder if he has any love for me anymore. I think he does, the way he looks at me and the way we talk sometimes but it could just be hope. 4 years and the pain is still fresh I've just learned to deal with it better. 4 years! Why can't I stop loving him? Can someone please tell me how I learn to not love him because I can't take much more.

1. Delete him from your facebook account. ;)

2. Your life should revolve around your kid rather than on you.

3. Scorpion Queen sums it all. :)

Pooch

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