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Guest purplexy54

me and my Cousin are falling in love

What should be our next move!?  

16 members have voted

  1. 1. What should be our next move!?

    • Abandon ship!!!: disconnect with my cousin and try to get over our feelings for each other.
      0
    • Confess to my mother that i am falling in love with my cousin and leave it like that.
      3
    • Hold off from telling my mother, and just secretly pursue a long distance relationship with my cousin.
      13
    • Pursue the relationship with Nicholas, and try to let go of my cousin.
      2


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Guest T

Hi just ran across your post Wow !!!LOVE IT. I think I have fallen in love with my 1st cousin, we have known each other for all our lifes. Each has married and have wonderful kids. He has 4  and I have 3, all grown now our children are married or in school. We also have grown grandchildren in school. Our thoughts came to light about 9 months ago. I was married to a wonderful man for 43 of the 47 years I knew him. He died 3 years ago this June. I was fine moving along on my" New Normal" as we call it. I call my cousin one day just to chat we were always close and able to love and respect each other and our life. He is divorce two time and has grown children from each marriage. We just started talking as cousins and friends.. so fun laugh, and reminisced about our childhood and the stories just came, fun, sad times shared things we never told anyone else. I never have felt sooo close to anyone in my life.One night as we talk he told me he always had admired and me my husband our life. He told me also that he had a three minute look and would look away for he knew we were cousin both married and had our lives. He knew it was wrong to have feeling for me. He always has been so respectful of me. He said he felt it was ok to share how he always loved me. Wow!! I was so surprised. I was so over come to think this man I already loved as a cousin love me more. I laugh and tried to make it just a joke till I realized he was serious, wow then I must say I think now I to am IN Love with this man. No one know our secret, I do not want to hurt our children or grandchildren, it is so hard, it feel like it is a tinted love that no one would or could understand. He like myself we have completed our marriages the best to our ability, I am retired he will be soon. We have given our family our all.They are all career grown ups now all are on their own.. Now its my time but never saw this coming, :( Not sure if I should just move on of which I tried to do but my heart won't let go.I tell myself you still have time not to hurt your children and your grandchildren, I feel so selfish by holding on. He does not want to let go either,he is such  a comfort and a friend. Such a sad place to be..a love you can share with no one. I am asking God to please take him out of my heart if its not to be take him out of my mind. I'm also asking God if its ok please make a  way for us.. we are both in our senior years to funny  hee hee what this is not possible!!! I tell him well if we are lucky we may have 5 to 10 years left. Thank for hearing my story, also we call this one of our pinky swears meaning we have to take to our graves. I wish I knew what my Lord thought of this. Was to much to keep sooo we both told his brother and his sister they were ok with it cause they kn we have always been people of character. They had to pinky swear too. :(  I have never experienced this before in my life.  :( Want to do the rt thing the the thought I would hurt our families is to much.

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If I were you, I would [move]not tell anyone and go for my cousin[/move]. I mean is he your first cousin because if you decide to marry him, there would be genetic problems cause your genes are too close. But anyway, I would make sure that I really like my cousin and if he is willing to be there for me at all times, then I would tell my family and not [glow=red,2,300]GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY!!![/glow]  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: It's your life, do what you want with it.

i hate when people come to a site that is so full of genetic information, ignore every word of that info, and then make completely ignorant statements like "if you marry you'll have genetic problems" and "don't tell anyone". yes, it's her life, and the family really doesn't have a right to stick their noses in it. but that's the only part of your post that sounds intelligent.

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Hi just ran across your post Wow !!!LOVE IT. I think I have fallen in love with my 1st cousin, we have known each other for all our lifes. Each has married and have wonderful kids. He has 4  and I have 3, all grown now our children are married or in school. We also have grown grandchildren in school. Our thoughts came to light about 9 months ago. I was married to a wonderful man for 43 of the 47 years I knew him. He died 3 years ago this June. I was fine moving along on my" New Normal" as we call it. I call my cousin one day just to chat we were always close and able to love and respect each other and our life. He is divorce two time and has grown children from each marriage. We just started talking as cousins and friends.. so fun laugh, and reminisced about our childhood and the stories just came, fun, sad times shared things we never told anyone else. I never have felt sooo close to anyone in my life.One night as we talk he told me he always had admired and me my husband our life. He told me also that he had a three minute look and would look away for he knew we were cousin both married and had our lives. He knew it was wrong to have feeling for me. He always has been so respectful of me. He said he felt it was ok to share how he always loved me. Wow!! I was so surprised. I was so over come to think this man I already loved as a cousin love me more. I laugh and tried to make it just a joke till I realized he was serious, wow then I must say I think now I to am IN Love with this man. No one know our secret, I do not want to hurt our children or grandchildren, it is so hard, it feel like it is a tinted love that no one would or could understand. He like myself we have completed our marriages the best to our ability, I am retired he will be soon. We have given our family our all.They are all career grown ups now all are on their own.. Now its my time but never saw this coming, :( Not sure if I should just move on of which I tried to do but my heart won't let go.I tell myself you still have time not to hurt your children and your grandchildren, I feel so selfish by holding on. He does not want to let go either,he is such  a comfort and a friend. Such a sad place to be..a love you can share with no one. I am asking God to please take him out of my heart if its not to be take him out of my mind. I'm also asking God if its ok please make a  way for us.. we are both in our senior years to funny  hee hee what this is not possible!!! I tell him well if we are lucky we may have 5 to 10 years left. Thank for hearing my story, also we call this one of our pinky swears meaning we have to take to our graves. I wish I knew what my Lord thought of this. Was to much to keep sooo we both told his brother and his sister they were ok with it cause they kn we have always been people of character. They had to pinky swear too. :(  I have never experienced this before in my life.  :( Want to do the rt thing the the thought I would hurt our families is to much.

you aren't selfish for holding on at all! and i think your children and grandchildren will be far more accepting than you think. times, they are a-changin' ya know! and even if they aren't so accepting, your life, your decisions, are not theirs to make. and allowing them to influence your decision in a negative manner would cause more damage to the family dynamic than standing up for yourself.

 think about this for a moment. our job as parents (and grandparents) is to lead by example, and one of those important life lessons that we must teach is that blackmail in any of its forms (including emotional) is wrong, and that the only way to stop that wrong is to refuse to be blackmailed.

 now i'm not saying that your fear of hurting them is because they're threatening to withhold their love... in your case it may very well be that your FEAR of them reacting badly is ruling your roost. and your fear may be completely unfounded. in a world where everybody seems to believe there are no moral absolutes, where facebook has 52 gender choices for a person to choose from, where boys and men are legally welcomed into restrooms and dressing rooms where little girls and their moms are looking for privacy (and the world cheers them on!), and where many recent responses to a news article about some biological mother and son who want to marry were encouraging them to do their own thing, the odds of nobody in your family caring much that you are in love with your cousin are becoming more in your favor every day.

and if they don't, just remember this. COUSINS are the only thing in the above litany of how cultural values and changing that has ALWAYS been acceptable to God. always. and that's what really matters.

go and live your life. there really are happy endings :)

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Guest GUEST SACHS

Hello , I know your post was up a while already but I just needed to comment. . . If you love your cousin and he loves you, admitted he has feelings for you I say go for it,. . I know its hard when your family is against you, when my sister found out how I feel about my cousin it was awful she acted like I was a different person she thinks its a sickness. . . but I love her and My cousin didn't know anything about how I felt even though we've always been closer than we probably should have been so I tried to put him out of my mind, , , Suffice to say it hasn't worked. My point is that your sister can't understand your feelings,  I hope you chose your cousin. I hope I get the chance to have my cousin love me that way some day. 

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