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hunterwilliams2009

Does my cousin have sexual feelings for me?

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Hey guys, new here and I need some advice and figured this would be the best place to get it. My cousin and I are a few years apart. I'm 29 and she's 26. I never used to see her as more than a cousin and we grew up about 300 miles apart and only saw each other like a couple times a year until we were adults and hardly ever saw each other. Well a few years ago she came up here for my brother's wedding and she blossomed into a beautiful woman. I thought she was really sexy and felt bad about this. When we met at the wedding and say hi, etc. I noticed she was playing with her hair twirling it and acting like a girl who's talking to a guy she likes. Kind of nervous from what I could tell. Then last year for xmas I went to my uncle's house and she came over in yoga pants and wow...let's just say I felt so wrong about the thoughts I was having when I saw her. But I didn't make any moves. We recently started talking more and more on facebook and talking about her coming up here and staying with me so I can show her around the city. We talk about some pretty graphic sexual stuff now on facebook but we've also both told each other we don't want to see each other naked or have sex with each other, but I feel like we're both bluffing. She told me how she  :tongue: during sex, how she  :rolleyes:, that she shaves and has a landing strip, her likes and dislikes in terms of oral sex, stuff like that. And I told her the same types of things about me. And when she described the type of guy she likes it was like a description of me. Also she knows I have a large  :shocked: because I was telling her how most girls can't  :kiss: me and she said "that means you're big", and then she told me that her ex was small. I've told her I think she's beautiful and has a nice booty, I also told her I bet she's fun in bed and that because she's into yoga she can do all the positions I like, but stopped short of saying I wanted to have sex with her. I also sent her a picture of my stomach and the top of my boxers to see if she thought I should shave my happy trail or not because she said she liked a happy trail on a guy if it's manly and not scraggly. She said "keep it". She also said I was tall right after saying she liked tall guys. The conversations we have really turn me on and I feel like on an emotional and mental level we really connect too. Do you think she has the same feelings as me? Should I try to make a move on her when she's up here staying with me for the weekend? I know this is morally wrong but I've never felt this way about a woman in my life and I'm almost 30...so that's a long time. Oh one more thing, the other day I remembered about how she played with her hair when we met at the wedding so I asked her if that's something she does when she's interested in a guy, and she said yes it is. Maybe she doesn't even realize she's attracted to me

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hunterwilliams2009,

I would be remiss as a Mod if I didn't remind you that this is an open, family oriented (no pun intended,  :evil:) site here. We don't need all the gory details as to your respective gender bits, sexual preferences or prowess. We could probably use an "adult" section available to members only, with some sort of age verification, because legitimate concerns of a more graphic nature do come up as a matter of course. There are two or three of us among the Admins/Mods who have pretty much seen and done it all. It's not really beyond us to advise within those areas to an extent. However, as of now, we don't have such an area, and I would remind you that even though you are mid to late 20's, there are members and lurkers here who could be as young as pre-teens. I know. We get them posting on occasion, and they need no encouragement to explore these areas of each other, they sometimes manage on their own just fine, usually with disastrous results. Let's not give them ideas they may NOT have thought of yet, OK? As soon as I post here, I'm going to try a little comedic editing. Hope you don't mind....

Now, to your dilemma. From your profile, I see you are in California. In California, first cousins are allowed to marry, and it is not considered criminal incest. You "know" it is morally wrong because you have been told at some point that it is, not that it ACTUALLY IS morally wrong. There is nothing from a religious perspective, (unless you are Hindu, and even that is a questionable interpretation from what little I know of it) that considers first cousins as morally wrong. This is good, because from the sound of it, this "tension" will not be denied at some point. I would encourage you to do what you can to build the friendship as much as you can before your respective hormones finally get the better of you. If you don't at least try to have some sort of foundation, a good romp in the hay can turn in to quite a lot of drama, especially with family. Be absolutely certain you've thought out all of the potential ramifications before you go to that level. If you're both on the same page with all of it, you're both adults, so there's nothing legitimate stopping you.

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sorry i didn't realize it might be too graphic for some of the viewers here. do you think she would talk to me about all this stuff if she didn't feel something for me in that way? we are both fit and attractive people.

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hunterwilliams2009,

We're no more mind readers than you are, but, IMHO, she's probably at least a little attracted to you, and at most, so hot for you that she just wants to ravish you. The reality probably lies somewhere in between. The bottom line? You are both adults. If you were younger, I would advise you to slow things down a little. But, you aren't. You are at an age that you should be fully able to explore these mutual feelings and see just how deep they are on both sides. My only caution to you is be sure you are both on the same page with wherever you two go with this. You're 29, she's 26. Women TEND to be a little more mature than men, by a couple years or so, but that isn't a "set in stone" rule. At close to 30, you are probably beginning to think in the longer term, looking toward the rest of your life, and who you would like to spend it with. Even with these hormone fueled, lustfully charged conversations, I also note your "never feeling this way about another woman." There is your tightrope. I use 'your' as a plural. You have to see if she feels the same way. Maybe she does. Unless you get her here, you have to ask her, I can't do it for you. She may already be lurking here. Who knows. The best way I know of to find out is the old tried and true "If you weren't my cousin" line. You vary it to fit your situation. If you invite her to come stay with you, and she says "I'd love to" in a hurry, you're good to go on trying it out, ONCE SHE'S THERE WITH YOU. Don't do it over the internet, do it in person, perhaps when you get back to yours for the night. If it were me, I would say something along the lines of "You know, I had a great time tonight. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a woman's company so much. If we weren't cousins, I wouldn't hesitate to take this to another level, you're so special. And, it doesn't help that you're so smokin' hot either." You know, something like that. Adjust it to the moment. Pay attention to not put your foot in your mouth, but I'm sure you've been in the moment before, wing it as you go. If she reacts badly, you always have the out of saying " I did say IF you know, If we weren't cousins...." It backs it off, but it still gives her something to mull over. Just as likely, from the sound of things, is that she says "Yeah, I know, and you're pretty hot too." If that happens, you say "Reeeeaaaalllllyyyy??????", trail it off, and kiss her. You'll find out pretty quickly then how she feels.

Cousins are people too. She's very apt to respond like any woman would to the moment. You'd best be prepared for that. You'd best be prepared for the next morning too. What is your idea of where it goes after that? Are you looking for just a good romp? Is she? Will you want more? Will she? What if you want more and she doesn't? What if afterwards she wants more, and you don't? What if, (like my situation, back in the day) you both want more, but she gets scared? Are you willing to stand up to potential drama out of family and friends? I will tell you right now, these things are want to get very intense, very quickly. It can be very overwhelming. Overwhelming in the moment, and even more so in the morning. You had best be ready to whip up some brunch and be ready for what we call "The Talk" over a big pot of Joe. I don't want to dissuade you in the least, but you'd best be prepared to go all in BEFORE you take to cover off the pool. In my opinion, your situation has a lot of potential. What kind and how much potential is up to you two to figure out. 

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