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pizzalover

What should I do?

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Hi there.

I'll use initials in order to preserve people's privacy in this post. My name is L and my cousin B and I are both 15. We usually spend school breaks together and we've been best friends since we were kids, and we text each other at least once a week when we're apart. Last winter I spent xmas at her place (we live in different cities) and i fell in love with her... My God! she's beautiful, endearing, funny, ravishing, and popular, everything that I never was. We are inseparable, and I miss her terribly. i would have asked her to date me then and there, but something happened that changed my mind entirely.

We were playing cards with Grandma, and Mother was in the couch checking her facebook. She hollered to us about a friend of ours who had recently become single and had posted a picture with this guy. "i think it's her cousin" B said. "Well she should know cousins are off-bounds..." grandma said. Then B said they probably weren't going out or anything. How can I possibly talk about this with B and the rest of the family if that's Grandma's opinion? Keep in mind it's a very conservative and religious family. I'm in the last year of high school and I plan to move to her town for college, but what if we start dating and it doesn't work out? worse, what if she won't date me at all, because she isn't in love with me?

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Once you move to B's home town you can

get a gage how she feels towards you. Let

things take it's natural course. You will get

a sign from her on if she had mutual feelings.

Then you both would need to decide on it

either of you will have a problem opening

dating. Keeping in mind your family values.

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That's the plan! Well, I think her not having dated anyone yet even though she definitely COULD have is already a good sign... Anyways there's not much I can do about it until I move there in December, is there? Until then, though, missing her is driving me absolutely nuts  :cry: :cry:

I know Grandma and my parents would be against us dating, but her parents might be more sympathetic. Trouble is, my dad doesnt want me moving there at all..thinks I'll lose my Christian values in the big city and whatnot.

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i always hate when people say how conservative and religious their family is in conjunction with how unaccepting the family will be. historically, (legislatively) it has been liberals who have opposed cousin marriage, not conservatives. furthermore, the BIBLE is totally accepting of cousin marriage... as are most major world religions. so families who use 'religion' and 'conservatism' as excuses for 'bigotry' are showing their ignorance.

sorry. pizzalover, i'm not putting you down, and i'm not intentionally trying to dis your family, but this is one of my pet peeves, and sadly i hear it way too often. chances are, your family just needs a little educating. most do. it's society that brainwashes them, and frankly, this society's mores are rooted in and shaped by liberal ideals. so even if your family considers itself conservative, their opinion on this issue is not.

that being said, you two are only 15. don't rock the family boat right now. focus on school. get your diplomas and make a plan for your future... that probably includes college and career. this is definitely not the time to get very serious in your relationship, and any attempts at swaying your family is likely to backfire, because of your youth.

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