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cocosurviving

Talking to my family abt my cousin

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Me and my cousin have been in a relationship since last summer.

We have talked abt telling our family. We have both told close friends.

This is the BIG problem his past and present situation. He has been

in trouble with the law but went years without getting in any trouble.

Now he's back in trouble. Our family will flip the fxk out when they

find out 1. We, two cousins are involved 2. I'm involved with a criminal

Personally I think I can handle it but he is worried abt me. Any feedback ?

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I'm betting that your family will be more concerned about his criminal behavior - as should you.  I'm not going to pronounce any judgement on anyone, lots of people make foolish choices in their lives and then turn things around.  What concerns me is that he has not turned things around and is still behaving in a way that shows he is not ready to make another person a priority in his life.

Frankly, I would run from this relationship.  For me, not knowing if my life partner was going to end up in jail or in some kind of legal trouble would be a deal-breaker.  You deserve to be with someone who can behave legally and in ways that puts you as a priority in his life. 

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what kind of criminal behaviour is he engaging in? and how old are both of you?

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I'm betting that your family will be more concerned about his criminal behavior - as should you.  I'm not going to pronounce any judgement on anyone, lots of people make foolish choices in their lives and then turn things around.  What concerns me is that he has not turned things around and is still behaving in a way that shows he is not ready to make another person a priority in his life.

Frankly, I would run from this relationship.  For me, not knowing if my life partner was going to end up in jail or in some kind of legal trouble would be a deal-breaker.  You deserve to be with someone who can behave legally and in ways that puts you as a priority in his life.

You have several very valid points and I'm

not offended in any way. I'm direct and I like

when some is the same way toward me. I'm

truly torn because I know he's not the ideal

person for me. But he actually treats me good.

Do not get me wrong I sometimes think abt

what if he continues to get in trouble. I do have a lot of big decisions to make. He

wants to get married and I'm ok with that. I

want to work on my masters degree and he

agreed to support my goal. I will give this a lot

of thought.

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what kind of criminal behaviour is he engaging in? and how old are both of you?

He was a modern day Scarface. Started out

as a youth with petty crime. Lastly trafficking

drugs. After he got out of trouble the first time

we were got close and intimate. Then he got in

trouble again. After that I never told him how

much I loved him and really wanted him to

just follow the fukn law. We would talk and

laugh but I moved on and had kids. He got in

trouble again, I moved out of state for 12 yrs.

I moved back last yr and we reconnected.

I'm 37 and he's 43. I know I can't change him.

I don't have a criminal history and don't agree

with the choices he make. I just happen to

be in mad love with a career criminal who

is my cousin. I'm also praying that he's had

enough of going to the penitentiary.

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you're old enough to make your own decisions without family interference. that being said, this guy is a really bad choice. i know love can be illogical, but there's this old saying that the heart can't be trusted. and for good reason! it can't! the heart wants what the heart wants, but it's deceitful. wisdom should always prevail over matters of the heart. do you know who said that?  king solomon. he was by far the wisest person to have ever walked the earth... and he said it in proverbs 28:26. know who also said it? the prophet jeremiah. (jeremiah 17:10). granted, jeremiah wasn't very popular in his day. people hated him for what he said, but he always spoke the truth as God revealed it to him.  now i don't know what your feelings are regarding God, or the Bible, but there's plenty else in scripture about the heart and what it reveals. a person's real character (his heart) is seen in his actions. not in his actions towards YOU, but in his actions towards others. and criminal activity doesn't speak well for his heart. in fact, what his heart really spells out loud and clear is a broken one for you.

i think you know all this. you seem pretty level headed. so you have a choice to make... follow your foolish heart into a sand-trap that you may never recover from, or use the wisdom God gave you and walk away.

oh... one more thing, just a word of encouragement. in Psalms, we're told that if we delight ourselves in the ways of the Lord, He will grant us the desires of our heart. that doesn't mean he'll work things out for you and your criminal cousin. it means that if you start putting your trust in God, and learn to love what He has to offer you, He will give you your deepest desires... the sneaky part of that is, once you are trusting in God, what your heart desires will be for Him to provide His very best for you... and your cousin ain't it. you are a long ways from being too old for God to bring someone into your life who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. don't settle for a cheap immitation.

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(oh, and if you don't mind, could you avoid using alternate spellings for the f bomb? use freaking, or stinking, or something like that, please? thanks)

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you're old enough to make your own decisions without family interference. that being said, this guy is a really bad choice. i know love can be illogical, but there's this old saying that the heart can't be trusted. and for good reason! it can't! the heart wants what the heart wants, but it's deceitful. wisdom should always prevail over matters of the heart. do you know who said that?  king solomon. he was by far the wisest person to have ever walked the earth... and he said it in proverbs 28:26. know who also said it? the prophet jeremiah. (jeremiah 17:10). granted, jeremiah wasn't very popular in his day. people hated him for what he said, but he always spoke the truth as God revealed it to him.  now i don't know what your feelings are regarding God, or the Bible, but there's plenty else in scripture about the heart and what it reveals. a person's real character (his heart) is seen in his actions. not in his actions towards YOU, but in his actions towards others. and criminal activity doesn't speak well for his heart. in fact, what his heart really spells out loud and clear is a broken one for you.

i think you know all this. you seem pretty level headed. so you have a choice to make... follow your foolish heart into a sand-trap that you may never recover from, or use the wisdom God gave you and walk away.

oh... one more thing, just a word of encouragement. in Psalms, we're told that if we delight ourselves in the ways of the Lord, He will grant us the desires of our heart. that doesn't mean he'll work things out for you and your criminal cousin. it means that if you start putting your trust in God, and learn to love what He has to offer you, He will give you your deepest desires... the sneaky part of that is, once you are trusting in God, what your heart desires will be for Him to provide His very best for you... and your cousin ain't it. you are a long ways from being too old for God to bring someone into your life who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. don't settle for a cheap immitation.

I do believe in God. I have not read my Bible or

attended church since the beginning of

last year. I know being close to God is not

about attending church. I began having medical

problems and prayed, it got worse so I lost my

most my faith in His. I do pray before meals

and thank God here and there. Last year I gave my

Bible to my teen daughter. I can use it to look

at the scriptures you pointed out.

I really appreciate you taking time to

chat with me. And your right hearts have

no brain they just lead by emotions. Yes I will

us "freaking. LOL. I'm use to being around a

sports group and got carried away.

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no need for a printed bible these days... as long as you have the internet! and if you have an amazon account you can install the kindle app for your computer (or phone or tablet) and there are free bibles available that way too. even without the kindle app, there are lots of free electronic bibles. i have lots of printed ones gathering dust around my house. all my reading is done on devices these days.

good luck to you. would you like me to keep you in prayer? (it's not like you could stop me if you said no, but i thought i'd offer as a formality :)

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no need for a printed bible these days... as long as you have the internet! and if you have an amazon account you can install the kindle app for your computer (or phone or tablet) and there are free bibles available that way too. even without the kindle app, there are lots of free electronic bibles. i have lots of printed ones gathering dust around my house. all my reading is done on devices these days.

good luck to you. would you like me to keep you in prayer? (it's not like you could stop me if you said no, but i thought i'd offer as a formality :)

LOL. Love ur sense of humor. Yes please do keep me

in pray and I'll be sure to look up the Bible verses online. Ur

right there are apps for everything or I can just Google

the info.

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