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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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tabby

family issues.

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8 posts in this topic

Im woundering if anyone has some advice to help me out. Since my cousin and I started dating my family has turned against me. My mom and sister disowned me and my mom has threaten to take me to court for grandparents right and here is the thing on that I never once said she couldn't see the kids. My dad and my cousin family is ok with it. What can I do to make my sister and mom know and understand im happy and in love. I live in ohio so if any one has some advice please message me or reply to thanks

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tabby,

Your Mom is threatening you to manipulate you. You don't say, but I'll assume this cousin is your first cousin. If so, you can not marry in Ohio, but there is nothing I see that lists your relationship as criminally incestuous. Now the standard disclaimer: "We don't give legal advice here on this site." However, IF that is the case, she can blow off at the pie hole all she wants about taking your kids, but unless she can demonstrate that you are neglecting or abusing them, there is really damn little other than blow off at the mouth that she can do.

I did find this: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2907 Get a tall glass of water, or another beverage, because it is DRY. However, I've perused it somewhat, and have not seen the word "incest" anywhere in it, and the only such relation that is specifically mentioned as prohibited, is parent/ step-parent///child/step-child. And that in the broader context of "person in authority" type situations. I have read, some time back, and never got around to actually verifying, that Ohio and a couple other states which escape me now, refuse to prosecute any incestuous relations between consenting adults. Again, this is in no way meant to be legal advice, and it would behoove you to speak with a competent lawyer candidly to be sure. IF that is the case, and IF there is no prohibition on relations between cousins, I would expect your mother to be told to go home and tend her own business, and not waste the resources of the State on such trivia. I would think you could get the opinion of a lawyer in writing to show your mother for relatively (no pun intended) little expense. With something to that effect in hand, I would encourage her to not waste your sister's inheritance on such a vindictive pursuit.  :grin: 

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Thank u for your input on my issues. Yes he is my first cousin and we r cousin only by r grandma.  We are going to call a attorney on monday and see what we can do. We do know in ohio the is no law saying we can't date but like u stated we can not marry. Thanks again.

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If your father is okay with your relationship, then I suggest that you talk to him. He's probably your best bet to influence you mother and get her to see reason.

Is your cousin from your mother's or father's side of the family?

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My cousin is from my dads side of the family. I have talked to my dad but him and my mom don't get along that well so she doesn't listen. Here lately she doesn't want to listen to anyone. All my mom see is the wrong in me dating my 1st cousin. As far as my sister goes I never talked to her muc h so it doesnt bother me.

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tabby,

It sounds like it's time to tell your mother that it is not HER side of the family, and it is not HER concern. I smell some sour grapes on her part, if my assumption from your post is correct, and your parents are not together. If they ARE still together, and don't get along, and she doesn't listen to him, then I pity him. I do know that feeling....

I also still stand by my advice to ignore your mother's drama. She'll get over it, or become increasingly irrelevant. I would also advise against unsupervised visits with her and your children. I have seen grandmother's do extremely stupid things when they make up their mind that they are right, and to hell with what the law or anyone else says. DO NOT leave your children alone with this irrational woman. AND, do not let her bring the topic up in front of your children. If she does, you ask her once, nicely, to drop it. If she doesn't, you pack your children up and leave. YOU decide when, and how much, of this topic is appropriate for YOUR children. NOT HER. 

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I haven't let her see the kids as of yet. I was thinking that she could see the kids at a public place because I dont want to argue with her either. But she knows me well enough that if she screws up she would ever see the kids. Thanks for all the advice  hawk

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