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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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nessa76

Alcohol consumption?

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I remember last year before xmas i was drinking a lot of alcohol to suppress the feelings (attraction) i have for my cousin, which obviously doesn't help at all. I've not had a drink at all since xmas, which i feel tons better for doing so :smiley:

Has anyone else drank alcohol to try & suppress the feelings you have?

I know it seems like kind of a silly question but i'd like to know if anyone else has done the same as me in the past or currently doing so.

nessa76

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i think people who succomb to addictive behavior, whether it's alcohol consumption or drugs, are almost always (at least in the beginning) doing it to suppress some sort of feelings... so it doesn't seem silly to me that you have put two and two together.

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Thanks LadyC, i agree that people who start at the beginning with alcohol is to suppress feelings just like i did. Luckily i have put two and two together and come to realize that drinking in moderation like socializing etc... is the only way, without it being abused and to not end up becoming an alcoholic because it doesn't really suppress things/feelings in the long term, just makes them worse  :smiley: 

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wise words! addiction is a nasty beast. it reels you in with promises of making you forget what you've lost, while causing you to lose everything you have.

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wise words! addiction is a nasty beast. it reels you in with promises of making you forget what you've lost, while causing you to lose everything you have.

So true, not that i've lost anything though but i certainly know what you mean. Ruins lives more than helping anything, rather than dealing with the issue(s) before it becomes too problematic  :smiley:

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Dang since Christmas!? Wow that's awesome. congratulations. I am currently just barely getting out of an addiction.December was my worst month,I drank just about every day and I would drink at work to get through work.it was stupid.my problem is that once I start I just can't stop.I do have the strength to just turn a drink down though so I just have to not drink:) I drank a lo,t in high school and when I was taking college  classes (and some drugs) but it wasn't a problem until I could get it myself.

Oh but I never drank to suppress my feelings for my cousin.I have always loved the feelings I have but sometimes wish I just didn't have them at all.she's awesome though, definitely one of the closest humans to me in my life, just confusing.

Anyways congratulations again

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Dang since Christmas!? Wow that's awesome. congratulations. I am currently just barely getting out of an addiction.December was my worst month,I drank just about every day and I would drink at work to get through work.it was stupid.my problem is that once I start I just can't stop.I do have the strength to just turn a drink down though so I just have to not drink:) I drank a lo,t in high school and when I was taking college  classes (and some drugs) but it wasn't a problem until I could get it myself.

Oh but I never drank to suppress my feelings for my cousin.I have always loved the feelings I have but sometimes wish I just didn't have them at all.she's awesome though, definitely one of the closest humans to me in my life, just confusing.

Anyways congratulations again

I hope you get to stop the drinking, for your own health mostly because not good for your Liver never mind anything else.

That's good that she is the closest human to you in your life, it is confusing i know the feeling i have towards my cousin.

I only suppressed feelings with alcohol because of feeling kind of weird for my feelings but that was only due to being on other sites, like yahoo answers which made me feel worse. I'm so glad i've found this site, its helped me to keep my sanity  :laugh:

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I know! This website is awesome and I love most of the people are respectful, mature, and open minded if that's a word. But yea good stuff and chill people:)

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Alcohol is a beast to wrestle with. Using it to get through the day is a bad sign. I bet you have some family members who have the same problem. (??) How often are you drinking now?

Dang since Christmas!? Wow that's awesome. congratulations. I am currently just barely getting out of an addiction.December was my worst month,I drank just about every day and I would drink at work to get through work.it was stupid.my problem is that once I start I just can't stop.I do have the strength to just turn a drink down though so I just have to not drink:) I drank a lo,t in high school and when I was taking college  classes (and some drugs) but it wasn't a problem until I could get it myself.

Oh but I never drank to suppress my feelings for my cousin.I have always loved the feelings I have but sometimes wish I just didn't have them at all.she's awesome though, definitely one of the closest humans to me in my life, just confusing.

Anyways congratulations again

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KC: yea I definitely had a problem. And you're right I have had a few family members struggle to but now we're all good. I don't drink much anymore after an incident with my brother early this year.

I must have had a few drinks in Jan and in all of Feb I drank one can of Mickeys (which doesn't even give me a buzz,I have a stupid high tolerance,2 Mickeys will give my a small buzz sometimes) and a pint of vodka. That's it for the whole month.this month I shared half a pint of vodka with my brother and poured the rest on the street.

Its crazy,I was trying so hard to quit but couldn't, then one day I black out after a whole fifth of tequila to wake up to the worst story of me beating up my big brother.it was so easy to quit after that..my big brothers my best friend I would never lay a finger on him because he's always had my back.once I found out I did that I just said f this stuff.I think it was all subconscious.

But yea he was ok and took me out for those other drinks later but I have decided to just stay away from it now I know if I drink again ill over do it again. When I did all of a sudden just stop though it was bad I sweated a lot and could not sleep or eat.I only drank water and had small snacks for about a week and a half. Liquors not fun or cool or whatever, I'm sick of it you know

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Oh the liquor will make you crazy. It's like poison to me. I black out, and my wife's FAVORITE saying (the next day) is, "Do you remember what you DID last night?"

I never could remember. And boy have I done some stupid things. I think the last time I was on the liquor three cops jumped on me and beat the crap out of me -- took me to jail. Wife bailed me out about 3 hours later and they wouldn't even let me walk out. They put me in a wheelchair and rolled me out to the car. Good times.

I don't drink at all nowadays, maybe a single craft beer with food once in a blue moon. I do love a good beer or a Long Island or a CR+Coke or ... ... lol. But I've abused my privilege to drink. I know if I am ever to be successful or functional in this life, I have to stay away from it.

I have to pray a lot. I think only God can give one power over these vices that are bigger than ourselves.

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oh man yea I know you know what I'm talking about. Its weird huh, sometimes waking up feeling good then hearing about all this chaos and thinking"where was I?" When you were the cause of itall.yea it haunts me but I take it as that's gods way of reminding me I have a vicious monster in me if I I let myself be weak

Amen dude my faith keeps me alive and I'm just a really positive dude anyway so I get over stuff. There's a lot of people out there living how we did and I just pray they quit before they die.

Stay strong dude,I feel like the battle with the bottle is a lifelong war.  But there are positive ways to stay busy and stay away I think.like you said prayer, meditating, chillin out with the people you love

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I've seen this topic a couple times in the last week, and didn't really have time to go into it. I have a little time this afternoon, so I may as well dip my toes in the pool here.

As to the original question, no, I didn't drink to forget my cousin. As some here who have known me since I joined will know, it was a long time ago, and we were partying like rock stars as the saying goes, and alcohol was only a part of it. One thing led to another, and it got very intense, very quickly. Probably TOO much, TOO fast. The emotions and what people would think if we were open with them were the only things that we considered too much though. We were all pretty much out of control, especially on the weekends.

Before I (as I figured it) ended up dead, I quit drinking for two weeks short of two years. I cut WAY back on the other "recreationals" too. In that time, I buried my best friend, and a couple other friends as well. Had I still been drinking at that time, I would most likely not be here. Even WITHOUT drinking during that time, I'm lucky to be here. Now, since I am, I no longer like the feeling of being out of control. I still drink, and some would consider me a heavy drinker. On occasion, I am. The rest of the survivors and I call ourselves "professionals". We call New Years Eve "amateur night" LMAO. Anywho, if I fell myself getting a little far along, I switch to Coke, or if they have it, my favorite, Dr. Pepper.  :grin: I do not like to be in a condition to where I cannot get home, and I do not want to die, and possibly take innocent people with me, all over a few beers.

I've not openly went into this on the site, but a couple Mods/Admins know, and the others got the Reader's Digest version. When I joined, I was married to a good woman, for the most part. Sober, she was as good a woman as a man could ask for. Drunk, she is every man's worst nightmare. We were together just short of 21 years. We had some very good times. For me, they were always tempered by wondering what, as I called it, the "drunk sh*t" was going to be when we got home. I always knew, and had said, that I wasn't going to be 70 years old, and putting up with it. When I was 50, I decided I wasn't going to be 51 and putting up with it, so I threw down the gauntlet. She quit drinking for several months, and things were very good. Even when she started having a few, it looked as though she was going to moderate, and things were still pretty good. But, over time, the same pattern emerged, and shortly before my 51st birthday, it came to a head. She was not going to get help, and I wasn't going to tolerate it any longer. She said "I guess we need to get divorced then...." and I said "Start typing." A month later, it was final. We have parted ways, I wish her well, I've moved on, and I'm doing MUCH better. I had always said that even if I were divorced, I didn't picture me and Cuz being together, even at this late stage in our lives. Alas, that IS the case. We are favorite cousins, I've renewed contact with her and her family, and it's all good. We're comfortable with each other, with life, with where we've been, and where we see ourselves going. During the divorce, she was away working, and her sister rode with me some, and we had some most engaging conversations over a bottle of wine and a meal or a beer or two, a couple times. Another girl was riding with me some as well. Mutual friends sort of "nudged" a widow, who is ~ a couple/three years my junior, and myself toward each other. When Cuz's sister and the other girl met her, they both told me the same thing. "You better not let her get away from you." Now, allow me to digress briefly to the topic of girls and Harleys. If a girl is on the back of your Harley, meets another girl who is interested in you, and tells you "You better not let this one get away" KNOWING that her a$$ is going to be replacing the one who tells you's a$$ on the back of the bike, it tends to get your attention. When TWO girls that are riding with you tell you that, you'd best believe it. They were right. The Good Widow (as I affectionately call her) and I are able to go have a few drinks, and I do NOT have to worry about any drunken shenanigans once we are through for the night. Plus, my bar bill has dropped to about half of what it was.  :wink: She outdrank me ONCE. The next morning her first words were "I'll never try that again." She says I'm a professional too!!!

So, if you've waded through all of that wall of text, that about sums up where I am on the topic of alcohol consumption. All things in moderation, and if not, it's going to be a problem........

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