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Guest confusedsoul

Need Urgent Help

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3 posts in this topic

I am from India and I am in love with my cousin (maternal parallel cousin). Recently we spoke to our families and it was rejected instantly. I cant abandon my parents and I just cannot live without her.

Please advice

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confusedsoul,

You are only about the 40th person from India who has come here and said "I cant abandon my parents and I just cannot live without her."

If that is how you feel, then you are in a limbo we cannot advise you out of. You have two options. You and your love move far away and form your own life, on your own terms, OR you give into their bullying and walk away from each other. If you actually "just cannot live without her", your only choice is the former. They have rejected your happiness instantly, without even considering any discussion of facts. They do not care if you two are happy. They only care about appearances and traditions that have no basis in scientific fact. You have no duty to support anyone who rejects you and your love immediately, as they have done. In America, this is not such a big problem. Families have falling outs or don't see eye to eye, or feelings are dismissed out of hand such as this, and the person(s) rejected move away, maybe or maybe not, to ever return. That is a lot of why our family would not have been a problem, had me and my cousin decided to go for it. Our family knew we had resources far away. All we had to do was get there. We could have left and went quite a long while without ever coming back, if we ever decided to. (I'm sure we would have at some point.)

If it were me, I would have been gone the next day after being rejected. I would wait at least a year, probably two, before even considering contacting them. I would wait at least 5 years before returning. There are stories here of couples in your situation who returned AFTER BEING MARRIED, and were separated, and allowed no contact. They were tricked into returning, then separated once they returned. I would have taken a ball bat or whatever it took to retrieve my wife, then I would have left and NEVER returned.

You do have options, you are just afraid of the fall out over your exercising them. My advise continues to be, move far away and start your own life on your own terms. 

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Maybe just keep it kind of private, like around your family try to control yourselves.

you can still be with her just not around them.

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