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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest voluptuousnose

How do I get over it?

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Hello, all.

My apologies if this topic has been posted before. I did not search the forum thoroughly, and I thought it would be cathartic to a degree for me to write down my own experience.

I'm 26 (male) and my cousin is 22 (female). We've been best friends for around eight years, and we have a very strong friendship. I call her with my problems, she calls me with hers, and we both feel like we can talk to each other about anything. I've probably loved her on-and-off throughout this time, and she has grown into an amazing, strong, beautiful young woman. I've gauged her opinion on the issue of "incest" (sorry if that's not the appropriate word) several times, mostly in vague terms. ("If two relatives love each other and are safe about using protection, do you think it's okay for them to be together?") She's consistently responded with reservations, and while she's not curt about it, I'm fairly certain she finds the prospect of such a relationship disgusting. To add to that, she's fallen in love with someone at school. He's a great guy: kind, supportive, and intelligent. I've never seen her this happy with someone else, and even though it pains part of me, I'm happy for her.

So, my question is as stated: how do I get over it? If this was any other person, I'd go the tried and true route of cutting off all contact until I don't feel anything. But this is a family member, and moreover, my best friend. I get sad if I don't talk to her for more than a week. What should I do?

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I totally understand. Me and my cousin talk daily and I am so in love with him. We recently met for a week and it was romantic/ Intimate but now he says he is not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. It's hard because if it were not a family member you could cut them out of your life. Maybe just try becoming more distant for a while and she will probably miss you. I too at first thought a cousin relationship was wrong but grew to really love my cousin.

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hi,

         i am also  love with my cousin. but he is my mom's own sister's son, i am 30y and he 34y we r in love with childhood. . . We love our family alot and cnt go aganist them, so if u can help me plz, need help !!! i come from a south Indian family. i need a couple who is ready to help me out bcoz i have very less time some one can help me plzzzzzzzzzzzz................................. mail id [email protected] looking who r in same trouble please. i have veryless time. yeterday only i came to know. my family forcing for marry from past 8yrs not able to do anything with lots of hope looking forward

regards

kavitha :cry:

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To the OP, if she's your best friend then I recommend treating her as you always have.

Best friends may love one another, just not always in the same way. The reasons vary, so cousins or not it may have been the same? We know in any relationship these and similar situations occur everyday.

My advice is to be patient and mindful that some things take time and some just don't happen. Continue to be the friend she deserves while looking at the opportunities your young life offers too.

Sometimes we don't get over as much as we get around?

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