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Guest rohit sharma

want to know how to propose my cousin[my mother sister daughter]

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hellow, i am rohit my problem is i really love my cousin[my mum sister daughter ] but i don't  know whether  she would  like me or not .still  today  i didn't    propose  her because there is alot  of  problem [1] she is 5years younger than me [15]and i am 20 years i hope that at this age she would not think about wich kind of partner will be good for her .[2]in our culture we allow about cousin ,that is i should marry  my mother brother daughter but not  mother sister daughter we treat like as own sister and brother ,so if i propose her  she will be too shamed and i too ,and mosyly i hope our parents  will not allow us to marry .can you please tell me or send  the reply  to my email (edited) i really love her but i am helpless  ,so please give me advice  we must love each other.

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same problem for me.but i proposed to her.but she also loves me soo.but she scaring about parents what can i do now

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I am in love with my 1st cousin(my mother's sister's son),he also loves me alot.and v have completed 4yrs in our relationship.problem is our parents never agree for our marriage.but we can't leave without eachother.we both are in good positions,he is CA and i am entrepreneur.but main problem is,we are hindu and our parents are very religious.so,how to convince them?and,is the 1st cousin marriage is legal in india or not?please please please help...

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same problem for me too!

i luv her very much i want to marry her (i have heard that my mother and my mother's sister have discussed about our marriage) and my father is creating problem in this matter.

so plese help me ,

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i love my cousin sister but i never told her about my feelings i even tried to leave all this behind but anytime i always think of her and i dont know what to do i even resigned from my job to live near her but i dont know what to do please help me

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I have same problem I also love my cousin she is 5 year younger than me but I dont know Y ? I love her alot whenever I see her i start dreaming about our marriage but I dont know about her feelings and I cant even pupose her in this era of her age.

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Same prblm I had frnds ..

Plzz help me..

I love my cousin (my mother sister daughter) she is 18 & i 17 , I don't knw that she love me or not ..But

i love her a lot.. So how to tell her about this ...

plz Rply me on - (nope)

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yes gaizzzzzzzzz this is the same situvation i realy had.......

but i said to her .. that i love her ... but :cry:she said that she has another lover ... but am happy gaizz bcoz she is happy

make ur lover happy and see thair happines and be selfi happyy

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i love my sister-in-law's daughter , i proposed her also..at first she gave me no answer but second time i asked her that she replied like " i want some time"..my problem is will she accept me or not??

if she accepts me , she is my brothers daughter and how she related to me and is it right or wrong??

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That makes her your neice I think. and everywhere I am familiar with,  though limited, it is wrong.

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I am in love with my cousin sister .and i am nervous to propose her ..as she can complain to my parents

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i love my sister-in-law's daughter , i proposed her also..at first she gave me no answer but second time i asked her that she replied like " i want some time"..my problem is will she accept me or not??

if she accepts me , she is my brothers daughter and how she related to me and is it right or wrong??

Yes that would be a niece and I don't think that is legal anywhere and for good reason you are too closely related

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[1] she is 5years younger than me [15]and i am 20 years i hope that at this age she would not think about wich kind of partner will be good for her .

15 is way too early an age to make such a decision  I would suggest waiting 4 or 5 years

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Same situation for me she is one month older than me n actually my and her maternal grand father are real brother's not our mother

I had also not proposed her what should I do

Please help

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I just want to say you ...one thing that..dont forget that ,,you are an indian..and in india ,,,,she is like your ,,own sister.

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Dhannu singh,

I approved your post so I may educate you perhaps. We do realize that in India, according to customs, cousins are like siblings. However, scientifically, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COUSIN SISTER OR COUSIN BROTHER. PERIOD. This notion of yours is the major part of why there is so much wailing and gnashing of teeth among hysterical family members, when cousins happen to fall in love in India.

For the life of me, I will never understand how a population that is generally accepted as being among the best scientifically educated in the world does not seem to be able to grasp this fact. The only thing I can figure is that, just as other fanatical religious believer across  the globe, they are so steeped in the tradition, they refuse to face the science.

Let me ask you this, oh wise swami. Once your mother reaches the age of 38-40, is she considered to be your "grandmother mother", and therefore lot allowed to re-marry if widowed or divorced, and/or prohibited from having children? Because, genetically, the risks are EXACTLY THE SAME. That, my friend, is a FACT. Not a myth, not a tradition, a FACT.

Having said that, India is not the only place such notions are held. There are similar notions among other religions, (though, other than Hindu, it isn't prohibited, and there is debate over whether the Hindu texts positively forbid it) and even the non-religious throughout Asia, and even to a degree here in the US. About half the 50 States allow for cousins to marry, the rest don't, or have limited exceptions of some sort.

Even here, depending on how close-knit the family is, cousins can, and many times do, consider themselves emotionally as close as siblings. I do, actually. We were just in another thread last night going into some of this, and how our families consider older cousins, and first cousins once removed, and even second cousins once removed, to be sort of "surrogate" Uncles and Aunts. I am here because of how close I am to a second cousin of mine. My Mother is an only child, so, on her side, I only have second cousins. This second cousin of mine was born exactly one week to the day after me. As kids, we met. As soon as we did, and realized we were in our momma's bellies at the same time, we were instantly favorite/best cousins. Shortly thereafter, they moved across the street from us. Her and her older sister, and me and my two younger brothers all played together and had a large time. We got closer, to the point that they consider us the brothers they never had, and we consider them the sisters we never had. HOWEVER, we were never, nor are we now, under any sort of delusion that we are actually siblings, having NOT came from the same womb. We know we are what is considered here to be very close to DISTANT cousins. In my experience, at least here in America, (and I realize it is different in India) families are so fractured and dispersed, that many people do not even personally know their second cousins. My Father had three brothers, and two half brothers, so I have quite a few first cousins on that side. But, none of them live anywhere close to me, and I've only met them a handful of times. Most of them, I wouldn't know if they came up and slapped me in the face. I only got to know one of them personally because she lived here for a while when her Dad lived here for a while. The rest of them, I've met, but some only once, and the others not enough to recognize them since we're older. I ain't got a clue about them, and they are certainly nowhere near siblings to me.

But, as we see with your beliefs, these notions die very hard. That's exactly why my second cousin and I are not together. Second cousins only share 1% more DNA than two totally unrelated people, and there is NO known increase in the risks to any children they may choose to have. However, back when we had out little "moment", this information was nowhere near as accessible as it is now. There was no internet, more less site such as this. I knew we were far enough apart on the family tree that there probably wouldn't be a problem, but, she didn't. She was nervous, I didn't push the issue, and we walked away from it. All for no reason, other than the lack of factual information. This, with her not getting the whole "once removed" generational thing, and thinking we were actually THIRD cousins. She ass-u-me-d we were STILL too close, plus, being so close emotionally, it was pretty intense, in very short order. Overwhelmingly so. Like her, we constantly see reactions such as that out of cousins here. Understandable by some traditions, and, I might add, here in the US, with the dissemination of faulty science back in the 1800's.

Now, the evidence is in, and the risks have been WAY overblown. Yes, there IS a SLIGHTLY increased risk, but not so much as to even be remotely thought of to prevent other, similarly risky reproductions from occurring. If someone were to propose LEGALLY preventing 40 yr old women from having children, they would probably be taken out and tarred and feathered. They would certainly be dismissed as some sort of unstable. Which brings me back to my sentiments on hysterical families reactions to scientifically similar risks in, not only India, (though it does seem to be the worst) but throughout the world. Do consider going to the main page of the site here,( https://www.cousincouples.com/ ) clicking the menu drop-down, and further educating yourself, like I did some 6 years ago now......

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Same problem here... sane age here.. everything same here :'( I love her .. and love her only ...

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Since these Relationship are too complicated, i dont like it . i loves my mothers sisters daughters daughter, due to relation problem I didn't told her about it yet. By this way I'm her Mama and it ended up all here. I'm 21 years old and she is 20. I'll marry 2-3 years later but i don't see any way with her,  really there has any way?

By relation I'm her mama, but looking at age, do you think anyway.

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I loves my mothers sisters daughters daughter, due to relation problem I didn't told her about it yet. By this way I'm her Mama and it ended up all here. I'm 21 years old and she is 20. I'll marry 2-3 years later but i don't see any way with her,  really there has any way?

By relation I'm her mama, but looking at age, do you think anyway.

I listen somewhere that it can be if there is not much difference in age. Since they all (uncle/aunt/sister) gives us (me) a huge Respect , I'm bit confused to how can i ask. Plz tell anything if you know about it..

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Same situation here.. im Ashish.. i also fall in love with my Mother Sister daughter.... but She proposed me first. we both belongs to Buddhism caste... she lives in metro city and i lives in small city(Taluka)...  her behaviour with me is very different from others.. she never treated me as brothers..   it just happened bcoz of i kissed her one night by mistakely, that situation i cant handled thats y...   she is just 13-14 years old but she just matured as 20 years... and im now going to complete 19 years this May.. so tell me what do i do ? Am i really have to accept it or reject it.. or wait ... i m planning to work hard .. do more study and get job soon and she also have to do same.. then i will think about it but i reminds that then if he will get another lover, then ? i m very careful about her.. i feels too much jealous even if she got captured in any of camera....  so really m i proceed or stop thinking about her..  plz reply to my email (redacted)

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Ashish Kumar,

First of all, you let her grow up. She may seem to act like she is closer to your age, but the difference would become quite apparent in pretty short order. As Buddhists, I'm not really sure as to what the law would be, but, I do believe it is allowed. Don't quote me on it, you will have to dig deeper for yourself. I'm not sure at what age girls can marry where you are, but even if it's allowed, it's certainly not advisable at this point. Since you are still in school, you need to be focusing on that. When you are out and working, you need to focus on that, and encourage her to focus on her schooling, and put all of this puppy love on the back burner until she is about your age. In the meantime, she can bounce the idea off of your mothers, discretely, to see how much drama there may or may not be.   

And, to you, we do not allow e-mails to be openly posted. I've redacted it for you. It is for your own protection. Please don't do it again, or you will risk getting the banhammer....

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I love my mother's sister daughter, and i didn't propose either. but i think she is loving me, coz her attitude is like that. We both are in same age. can any one suggest me some idea???

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I m in love wit my brother daughter..........l feel like a bad man.....m really so bad...shameless.......bt i cnt stop lovin her.......i cnt even imagine it........from gd mrng to gd night....i thnk nly about her.....nobody cn replce her in my life........bt i cnt marry her........she is jst 14 n i m 17.......god pls hlp me......frnds pls hlp me.....there is no use telling me to stop loving her.....so pls giv me another advice.......

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