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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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DanniJames

I need some help

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DanniJames    0

Hi so me and my cousin was a bit drunk he when in my room then called me to come up. When I got to my room he started kissing me and doing other stuff he told me I can't tell anyone also saying we shouldn't be doing this I'm not quite sure what I should do? I won't tell anyone but I just don't want us to be awkward about things

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Serendipity    75

I shudda also asked how old your cousin is.....How old is your cousin?

Nonetheless, NEVER get involved with someone who tells you that you have to keep things a secret.  It's one thing when two consenting adults keep a relationship to themselves - it's quite another when a 17 yr old is told not to tell anyone about this.  I'm going to assume that your cousin is older than you simply because it seems like you have been taken advantage of by someone older.  Listen, relationships are meant to bring joy to our lives, not to make us feel dirty and used.  Do not let your cousin touch you again.  Don't be in the same room alone with him/her, don't call, don't text and by all means, don't ever respond to a drunken message to come to a bedroom alone.

There is no shame in telling your parents or some other adult you trust about what happened.  I don't have enough information about what happened to make any real judgement calls, but I do not have a good feeling in the pit of my stomach about this. 

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DanniJames    0

Thanks so much for all your help I will never text the person involved for a very long time x I understand that when your both drunk u don't know what your doing because I know that it wouldn't of happend  if I didn't have anything to drink

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LadyC    106

then it sounds less like an abuse of power situation that i'd feared it could be. and to me this sounds like it could be a typical situation of cousin attraction tinged with fear of being criticized and ostracized by the family. it's pretty normal for one or both to want to keep things quiet, at least in the beginning, but you're the one who is actually in the situation. trust your instincts. if it even feels for a moment like he's just using you, then walk away and don't look back. and of course, this is assuming that you even have any interest in seeing where it would go.

how DO you feel about him?

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