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Lonelynsad

Left alone

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My 1st cousin and i have been together for almost 5 years when he suddenly decided to break up with me. he said nothing will change but he now acts as if i dont exist. I feel depressed because i really love him. And now i feel left out. Our family has no idea we have a special relationship and i feel like im alone. I have no one to talk to and now he wont even talk to me.  I now blame myself why i lost him since i have been annoying him with constant text and calls ever since i found out he cheated on me. Help advice please

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quit blaming yourself! sometimes in a relationship one or both people just start feeling stagnant and want to move on. and apparently he did that when he cheated on you. the kindest thing he could do was end the relationship with you. seriously, would you want the guy to keep claiming to be with you while sleeping with someone else?

quit texting him. quit calling him. pick a real tear-jerker of a movie to go see, and go by yourself to the matinee in the middle of the week when you can sit alone in the top row with a box of kleenex and sit through it twice. flushing your emotions with all those tears will be healthy. sometimes when a relationship ends, we cry ourselves out and think there's no more tears, and we just ache instead... the movie will stir up those tears again.

or you can do the movie thing at home. when a guy i thought i wanted to marry (many years ago, before i married mark), we didn't have netflix and amazon. the movie i chose to see was called "intersection", with richard gere, sharon stone, and lolita davidovich. it's available on netflix now. watch that one. it's the perfect movie to cry to when you get left for another woman. and you'll pick up a new line from it that you'll be able to use if your guy ever comes sniffing back around.... "don't say you love me when you've been (sleeping with) another woman... it lacks conviction." (said in a beautifully emotional scene by sharon stone when she discovers richard gere has fallen for someone else.) her emotions were so raw, so real, you'll feel like you could be her. trust me. you want to watch this movie. in the end, you'll empathize with every one of the characters, but that's also a good thing... because you'll learn to see things from all perspectives and it will help you to move on without him.

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Hi sori i didnt make my story that clear. I found out he slept with his co worker last year. He was very remorseful and kept crying because he said he still loves me and is asking for another chance. I loved him very much so i gave him another chance, but all through last year i was always suspicious. I even went and talked to the girl who told me it was a one time thing whatever. Ever since then i get scared when he doesnt reply to texts and calls. He has been patient enough to put up with me bec as he said he deserves it, but sometimes he would get angry cause he said he feels like i cant trust him and it hurts him. Somehow we got over it and we were doing ok.. Until last week when he suddenly said he wanted space, he keeps telling me he loves me but that he is tired of always hiding. He said he wants me to also think if us being together is what i really want. He isnt talking to me as much anymore, treating me more like i dont exist, and it hurts :( i still cry everyday.  The last time we talked he said he needed to think things through because it would be unfair to the family. Its painful cause when we first came together he promised we would face our family head on

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well a good cry at the theater would still help purge.

now.... i'm a bit confused. who is it that wants to keep things hidden from the family? and why? i'm assuming you're both out of your teens and into adulthood. if he's distancing himself because you don't want to come out to the family, then maybe you should reconsider and let the cat out of the bag. if he's the one wanting to keep it secret, then why would you want to stay with someone who is too scared to admit he's with you?

either way, i'm sorry to say, it sounds as if he's using that as an excuse and he's just wanting a way out.

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Actually we are both afraid to come clean. We live in the philippines and sad to say people here are closed minded. We are afraid because we know that not everyone or maybe no one in the family would understand. And even though we are both professionals, we still dont have the financial stability to move away from our family. We both agreed that we would save money first and then tell them the truth. Sadly, between the two of us he is the one having second thoughts. It confuses me because he wanted some time off but he said nothing will change.. I dont know. Its just painful when i think about it, because i feel like he is making me wait.  Are there any filipino cousin couple who succeeded in being together? One of the main things he says he doesnt like about me ( his words) he feels like my whole world revolves around him only, and he wants me to like "explore" the world and be independent. He feels im too needy

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The truth is i love him, despite everything that has happened. I still do. The weird thingg happening now is he's sweet one second and then cold the next. He says hes just trying to teach me to be independent of him. And to learn to make my own choices.

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ahhhh, the philippines. that changes everything. i can't even advise you at all really, because your culture is so vastly different than mine. there are a lot of phils on here though, and a whole thread where they speak in their native language without any of the rest of us saying "huh?"

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ahhhh, the philippines. that changes everything. i can't even advise you at all really, because your culture is so vastly different than mine. there are a lot of phils on here though, and a whole thread where they speak in their native language without any of the rest of us saying "huh?"

True that. Lol. :P

Pooch

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u tel him ur feelings try to convenience him, make him understand wat was ur relation .

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