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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest J

What to say to her

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Guest J

I need some advice.

My 2nd cousin and I are 1 year apart. We grew up seeing each other occasionally but I felt closer to her than cousins I saw more often.  We drifted apart but then about 10 years ago we reconnected. We talked off and on. We had a couple of make out sessions and almost went all the way except for the lack of protection.

In the intervening time I got married.

About a year ago, I started working near her. We talked more and I started having stronger feelings for her.  She was having relationship troubles and I talked her through them. We again almost went all the way, even bringing protection when I went and visited her. She was up for it but an badly timed phone call killed the mood.

We've been talking and I expressed how much I love her and wish things were different.

She recently got involved with a man she's known for a long time.  They had started talking about maybe getting married eventually. They weren't sexully involved till this weekend.  It just happened and she thinks that she might be pregnant.

Now my problem. I don't know how I feel about it.  I think I'm jealous. I don't know what to do or say to her. I am secretly  hoping that she's not.  I feel I'm being selfish but I can't help the way I feel.

What should I do?

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Are you still married?  If so, enough said. She is off limits to you

and what or who she shares her life with is not for you to have a say in.

If you aren't married then that is a different story and advice.

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